


You don't know me

by NightmareGale14



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hate, Mention of past with Medic, Sex, dance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-01-15 06:57:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 45,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12316047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightmareGale14/pseuds/NightmareGale14
Summary: Your name is Shadow, and you’ve been with the team for three years now. Everyone likes you, except one person. You want to show him, that there is more in you, than what he thinks.





	1. Why are you doing this?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first writing. And not just that, this is my first time when I write in another language, than my mother language. Hope you will like it :)

“What’s wrong?” You turned your head towards the caring voice just to see Spy. A worried pair of blue eyes was watching your face. “I noticed you weren’t yourself today.”

 

“Just some rough feelings. I haven’t slept so much yesterday.” You were looking everywhere, but into the eyes of the man walking next to you. For your unluckiness he noticed that something were bothering you, and took a deep breath.

 

“Is it about him again, _reine_?” You nodded with a sigh. Spy suddenly stopped, then pulled you into a big hug. Feeling his heartbeat made you a bit calmer, but you just couldn’t stop thinking about what happened in the battle a few hours ago. “Why are you trying to get on well with him?”

 

“We are in the same team. If he refuses to help me out when I need it, then how can we win?”

 

“We won today. Only because you were able to get that intelligence.”

 

“I died eight times today.” You broke out from his embrace, then you both continued walking towards your base.” Eight times! I saw that red dot on every enemy’s head, but he didn’t shoot them.” That was the first time you talked about this to anyone. Since the day you arrived, Sniper refused to even communicate with you. He watched you die in every battle, and never helped when you needed it. You felt sadness as Spy reached out for your shoulder.

 

“Do you want me to look after you next time, _reine_?” The two of you stopped at the entrance, and Spy let the others into the base before him. When everyone else went in, he looked into your eyes with a comforting smile on his face. “Or I can ask Medic to pay more attention on you. I know you like him a lot.”

 

You couldn’t believe what Spy just said. You took a step backwards with embarrassment on your face. It was true you and the doctor were real close to each other and had some ‘history’, but you couldn’t think about him in a way like this. You felt remorse. If Spy thought you were together, then Medic could have been as confused too. You knew you will have to talk about it with the doctor, and make everything clear.

 

“Did I say something wrong?” The question broke you out from your thoughts. Spy’s eyes were worried as he looked down on you.

 

“No, nothing.” With giving a weak smile to him, you opened the entrance doors and slowly walked to the little kitchen with Spy behind you. “You just misunderstood the situation.”

 

“But I saw you together.” You almost dropped the beer what you just took out from the fridge. Thinking about yesterday night, you try to figure out when he could have seen anything, but nothing comes into your mind.

“When?”

 

“In his lab.” As he said that, he awkwardly rubbed his neck. You could see him blush which made you turning red too. “I saw him kissing you with passion. Then you two got into his room.”

 

“You followed me?”

 

“Yes, but I had good reasons.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“You went into the infirmary. What do you think?”

 

“Look, I…” Trying to come up with some explanation, you decided to tell him the truth. You knew you should have done this long ago, but you didn’t have the courage to do so. “I have needs too. I’ve been here for so long now and I felt like I need some… action.”

 

“How many times had you these feelings?” You could hear sadness in his voice as he asked you this one question. Spy was always like a brother for you, who cared about you so much. You knew what he meant by asking this, and you were blushing even more.

 

“Five times so far. But yesterday it revealed he’s not quiet my type.”

 

“You were with him five times, but you only found it out last time?” Spy asked with confusion in his voice. As an answer you pulled up the bottom of your shirt to show him one of your bruises on your waist. You watched his face for any reaction, but couldn’t see any feelings on him for almost a minute. Then he took a deep breath and grabbed your hands. “What have you gotten yourself into, _reine_?”

 

“It wasn’t that bad.” You blushed again, while covering your skin with the burgundy red textile. “I just don’t like the marks. The other four times he was gentle, but I told him that he could show me his own style. I wanted to know what he likes.”

 

“And you don’t like the same things, I presume.” Your only answer is a nod. “What will you do now?”

 

“He’s still my friend. Everything will be the same. I just don’t think I could spend another night with him. That’s all.”

 

Just like he knew you were talking about him, Medic entered the common room. When he saw the two of you holding hands, he blushed and rubbed his nape. Spy let your arms off, then left the room. The doctor walked towards you with worried eyes.

 

“Does it still hurt?” He asked after a minute of silence. You shook your head. This shouldn’t be so awkward. You two did things like this more time, but he’s only showing emotions just now? Medic’s eyes were sad, and it made you feel bad. “I didn’t know you and Spy were this close.” A misunderstanding again. They say women are hard to understand, but here in the fortress only men make such ridiculous things up like this. You rubbed your eyes. Feeling tired as hell.

 

“Why you think I would hold hands only with someone I’m in love with?”

 

“ _Tschuldigung_. I wasn’t thinking.”

 

“You wanted something, or you’re just here to ask about my love life?” You felt a bit insulted. Couldn’t tell why, but you just felt it. When you looked up in the man’s eyes, this emotion got away. You saw remorse behind the steel-gray irises, which made you feel bad again.

 

“I only wanted to be sure that you are okay. You died quite much today, and I wanted to know if it happened because of me. Because of what we did last night.”

 

“No, of course not!” You grabbed both his shoulders to show him, you’re not angry or anything. Medic showed a weak smile as you tried to calm him. “It happened because I was alone the whole time.”

 

“ _Was_?” He asked. “What do you mean ‘alone’?”

 

“You exactly know what I meant by this.” You shot a glance towards the door of the sleeping quarters, where the others just came out. Everyone was wearing some casual cloths, not their uniform. When your eyes turned back to Medic, you noticed he was looking elsewhere. Following the direction of his glance, you could tell he’s looking at Sniper. The other man walked to the coffee machine to pour himself some of the warm liquid.

 

“Something wrong?” He asked when he realized, you two were watching him.

 

“Refusing again?” From his voice you could tell, Medic was angry. Not that you weren’t, but it was the first time you saw the doctor like this, and it felt strange. He was kind of scary with that expression. “After we all told you how team work is so important?”

 

“She handled it herself.” The taller man shrugged showing how much he doesn’t care.

 

“You could have saved her so many times. But you didn’t do anything because of a childish hatred.” Medic was speaking louder and louder with every word. It made the other members of the team turn towards the three of you. “You always say you are a professional, but this shows the contrary of your statement.”

 

“You are ridiculous.”

 

“You refuse to help her, but I’m the ridiculous one?”

 

“Yes, because you are the one who always speaks up for her. If it bothers your little girlfriend that I don’t want to watch her all day, why doesn’t she tells me?”

 

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

 

“You took the important part, I see.” Sniper laughed, then took a sip from his coffee. You could feel Medic was angrier then before. Fearing he would hit the taller man, you grabbed his wrist. “And by the way, she should do her role in the battles. You can’t blame because she just can’t stay hidden. Not my fault she’s so clumsy, they always find her. Shadow chose the sneaky way, but I see she can’t use it properly. I don’t even know why she is here.”

 

“Go to hell!” You shouted with tears dropping off your cheeks.

 

Sniper just touched a very sensitive part of your memories with his speech. Your heart was aching. As he noticed the wetness in your eyes, his face showed something like regret, but you couldn’t care. Storming out of the room, you headed to the showers. You were furious, and you knew you will drink a lot tonight. As on every Friday after the battle, your team was going to the town to relax. It always meant that you all spent the night in a bar just having fun. You opened the shower, and as the warm water hit your hair, you started thinking about the things Sniper just said about you. You were happy with the thought that he never comes with the team, when you go out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reine = queen  
> tschuldigung = I'm sorry  
> Was? = What?


	2. A night out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As it was told, the team went out to a bar, but will it be as calming as you expected it?

After the shower, you go back to your room to dress up. Thinking about the still hurtful words of Sniper, you took out your favorite dress from the wardrobe. It was a strange look in the mirror with you in a skirt again. The last time you wore something like this was years ago. While you combed your hair, Spy walked into your room. His eyes were worried, but you had enough of this. You stood in front of him with a deep breath.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked. You shook your head as an answer. “Wanted to say something comforting, but I can’t come up with excuses for his behavior. I can’t tell you that he didn’t mean it, because I know him. We tried to speak with…”

 

“I don’t care about what he said.” Breaking his sentence, you told the truth. “It hurt a bit, but I know he doesn’t know anything about me, so it didn’t touch me. Can we go now?”

 

Tired of these talks, you walk out of your room with Spy right behind you. He was even more worried, but you just couldn’t care about it. The other members of the team liked you, and you knew it. Every time something happened to you, they were always on your side, but it started to be a bit tiring. You were a full grown woman, and they had to notice it. Outside the base, there was everyone waiting for you two. As you looked around, you were a bit calmer, because Sniper wasn’t there. But when you saw something like a shock on every face, you started thinking what could be the problem. Everyone was looking at you.

 

“What?” They all started walking as you said this word. It was like they didn’t even notice that they all watched you. Medic waited for you to reach him, then he smiled at you.

 

“It’s the first time we can see you in a dress. It fits you, but we were a bit surprised.”

 

“So, you say, I can’t be a mercenary and a woman too?”

 

“No! I didn’t say anything like that!” He looked down with panic in his eyes, but you just laughed.

 

“Don’t worry! Just joking.”

 

“I see your mood is much better now.” As he told you this, you only could react with a sigh. “He surely hurt you. Want to talk about it?”

 

“It wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Maybe if we would know each other, then it would hurt, but like this it doesn’t.”

 

“You mean ‘if he knew you’?” The question surprised you. Medic always looked through you, but this time he hit the bull in the eye. You didn’t want to answer him. “You have feelings for him?”

 

“What? No!” You were telling the truth, but Medic wasn’t like he believed you. Showing a grin, he took a deep breath.

 

“Then why do you want him to know you better? Why you want him to like you?”

 

“We are in the same team. He doesn’t have to like me, but I want him to hate me a little less.”

 

Medic didn’t ask any more questions. He only walked beside you in silence, and you were happy about it. He always knew when you needed to be a bit lonely. Maybe that was the reason why the two of you were this close friends. The silence was so deep on the way, that the voices from the bar almost scared you. The team walked in and found an empty table. Spy went for some drinks, then everyone started chatting about something. Everyone except you. You only stared at your glass, while Scout was telling you a story about a baseball match he played as a kid. You couldn’t pay attention on him.

 

Feeling a bit lost, you were in your thoughts. What if Sniper was right? What if you never really belonged here? You wanted to stop these thoughts, but they always came back to your mind. Trying to convince yourself, that Sniper was just malicious, you suddenly noticed, you emptied your glass. Scout was still in his story, but you couldn’t tell what he was talking about. Returning into your mind, you started to play with the ice cubes in your glass.

 

“Little girl!” You heard Heavy, as he waved in front of you, who know how long now. “Too much drink?”

 

“Just lost in thoughts.” You shook your head in hope, that it will clear your mind. Maybe you drank too much, but that wasn’t the main problem.

 

“Sniper was evil. Saying thing like these to little girl isn’t good.”

 

“I’m okay. Don’t say things like this!”

 

“You are too indulgent.” Suddenly Scout placed a hand on your shoulder. “He will apologize for this. He hurt you.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous! He doesn’t even care about it.” Throwing a cube to Scout, you grinned with a little sadness. The runner only laughed, like he knew something you didn’t. “What?”

 

“Would you bet?”

 

“On what?”

 

“That he won’t apologize tonight.”

 

“Why would he do something like that?”

 

“Because he left his little camper to come here.”

 

Scout pointed to the door, where Sniper was standing. He obviously looked for the team, but you were hoping, no one else noticed him. For your ‘luck’ Demo suddenly stood up and shouted for him. You didn’t wanted an awkward talk, so before Sniper reached the table, you left your chair and went to the bartender to order your next drink. You knew the others had a great time, but you only could pay attention to your glass, which became empty after one or two minutes. Again playing with the ice, you thought about your family, and your past. These memories always made your eyes go a bit wet, but in this status of yours, you couldn’t think about anything else.

 

Some moment later, someone stood next to you. He was talking with the bartender, then a full glass was pushed to your hand. As you looked up, you noticed, it was Sniper who gave you the drink. He was standing there with a glass in his hand, looking right at you.

 

“You don’t have to do this.” You didn’t want this whole situation, but you were too thirsty to think. Reaching out for the glass, you couldn’t think strait. “I know you don’t like me.”

 

“That’s not the point. I don’t ‘don’t like you’. I hate you. There is a difference.” He told it to you, like it was nothing, with a poker face. You didn’t want him to see your sadness, so you looked back to your glass.

  
“The best topic in the world.”

 

“Don’t you want to know why I came?”

 

“Don’t want to hear your ‘must apologize’, sorry.”

 

“And what if I really am sorry?” You looked back at him, but couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth. Sniper was only tearing off the paper from his bottle, with no emotion on his face.

 

“I don’t think you are.”

 

“It was a sensitive spot I touched. I saw it.”

 

“So, you suddenly care about it? Now you care if you hurt me? Yes, it was bad, but as that much as you think. You know why? Because you don’t know a thing about me, and you don’t even know why it hurt.” Your eyes were wet again, as he looked up and smiled. “What’s so funny?”

 

“You are sad, because I don’t think you belong here?”

 

“No!” You started to be furious. Sniper talked about this, like he knew everything. “I’m sad because you judge me without knowing why I’m in this role. It has a reason why I got into a class similar to Spy’s. That’s the only thing I can do. Hiding from everyone who can hurt me.” With this last sentence you brought up Sniper’s attention. He turned sad in a second, as you talked. Maybe he regretted what he said?

 

“What can I do to make those words disappear from your memory?” He asked honestly. It felt good to know he really was sorry, but you didn’t want to give him an easy way. As the music in the background went slower, you got an idea.

 

“Dance with me!”

 

“To this?” The romantic music made him feel embarrassed, and it was fun to see him blushed.

 

“I will forgive you, if you come and dance with me.”

 

With a growl, he took your hand and led you to a corner. He didn’t want the others to see this, but you could tell the whole team was watching you two. He placed a hand on your waist, then with the other he grabbed yours. Sniper started moving, but a grin appeared on his face, like he was under a terrible torture. You tried to be silent, but after some time, you couldn’t hold it anymore.

 

“Why do you hate me?”

 

“Please, don’t speak! I don’t need a sentimental talk right now.”

 

“I just want to know why you can’t get to know me before you judge me. The other took time to talk with me first, but you just hate me.”

 

“I’m not like them. Do I look like someone who enjoys long talks with anyone?”

 

“Sniper, I don’t want you to like me. I just don’t want you to hate me.”

 

“I never liked you, and I never will. Accept it and leave me alone! I know your perfect little world can’t bear anything like this, but you have to live with it.” You push him away, after some seconds. It’s too much now, and you can’t hold your tears back anymore.

 

“So you think my world is perfect? Then think about something! Why can it be, that I’m here with all of you? I have nothing, but this team. I lived on the street for years, until I found this place.” Trying to hold your voice, you almost shout at him. The only thing you wanted right now is hide and cry all night long. “Thanks for ruining my day…”

 

You ran to the bathroom to wash your face with cold water. It feels much better without the tears burning your eyes, but your heart was still hurting. You were really angry. In a hope of forget, you went back to the bartender. Drink after drink, and after a while you felt a bit dizzy. The man standing in front of you, refused to give you more glass. Your head started aching, and you needed fresh air. Going outdoors, you breathed in the chilly air, but it didn’t make any difference. You still felt like throwing up any second. You placed your hand on your mouth and sat down.

 

“Why do you drink that much, if you can’t bear it?” As you looked up, you saw Sniper with a cigarette in his mouth. You wanted to send him away, but you feared if you do something like this, you would throw up in that instant. “Come!” He suddenly grabbed your other hand, then helped you stand up. His camper parked near the building, and he led you inside of it.

 

“What are you doing?” You asked finally, as he helped you sit down on a little couch.

 

“Believe it or not, I’m trying to help you.” He gave you a bottle of water, and assisted while you drank it up. “In those two hours while you were away, I heard in so many different ways, that I’m a bad person.”

 

“Because you really are.”

 

“I was thinking about what they see in you. Medic protected you, even after his little girlfriend was flirting with me in front of him.”

 

“I’m not his girlfriend.” You said. He let out a chuckle, which made you feel awkward.

 

“You only confute this? And what’s with the fact that you flirted with me?”

 

“What if I did?” You were only joking, but it seemed Sniper thought it to be serious. He sighed, then sat next to you on the couch. For some minutes there was silence between the two of you. You knew he was thinking, but didn’t have the courage to ask anything. You didn’t even know why he was helping.

 

“What would happen, if I gave you a chance?” From his voice you jump a bit. After the silence it was too sudden from him. “What if I let you speak to me sometimes?”

 

“I don’t want you to speak with me because of compassion.”

 

“I wouldn’t do it because of that. I want to know why they like you so much.”

 

“When should I start?”

 

“What about now?” He gently smiled at you. “You speak, and I will listen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all like it. I always loved stories where someone's hate turned into something else, and that's why I wrote this. Please, leave me your opinion!!


	3. The morning after

“So that’s why you left?” This was his only question after you finished the story. It felt good, that someone finally listened to you without a word. The others always broke your sentences, but Sniper didn’t.

 

“What would you do in a situation like mine?”

 

“I don’t really know. But now I feel lucky, that I have a good relationship with my parents. Even with my father always complaining about my job.”

 

“I’m happy I could tell this to you.” You smiled, and as he looked at you, he did the same.

 

“I’m happy you did it.”

 

He looked down to his watch, then went to the front of his van. You knew it was late, but you couldn’t tell the time, as he. Sniper drove back to the base, then led you to your own room. The others didn’t return yet, so there were only the two of you in the fortress. At the door you stood in silence for a while. He looked at you with a blush, but didn’t said a word. After some minutes Sniper said a ‘good night’, then left.

 

***********

In the morning, when you went to the kitchen, you only found Scout there. The others were still in the sleeping quarters, and you were happy about it. You stood right next to the runner, then punched him softly in the shoulder.

 

“So he apologized, I presume.” He said with a big smile.

 

“More, than that.” You told Scout, while pouring some coffee for yourself. “He talked with me.”

 

“After what he did in the bar, I expected it. And how did it go?”

 

“It was good. He just listened to me, while I was talking about my past.”

 

“And what happened after?” The others started to come in, so you continued the story with a lower voice.

 

“He helped me to my room. Then just got away with a ‘good night’.”

 

“I knew he will like you!”

 

“He just listened to me.”

 

“He likes you. Accept it!” Suddenly the entrance doors opened, and Sniper walked in. Scout placed a hand on your shoulder, then chuckled, as the tall man reached the two of you. “Good luck!” The next moment he disappeared, exactly when Sniper stood beside you and grabbed a mug.

 

“What’s up with the kid?” He asked, while pouring some of the warm drink for himself.

 

“I don’t really know.” You shrugged. “Maybe he’s happy that you finally talked to me.”

 

“I’m glad, too.” He murmured, but you exactly heard the words he was saying.

 

“What?” Trying to hide the blush on your face, you hide your face with some of your uncombed hair.

 

“You know, we didn’t finish the talk, don’t you?” He asked with a smile.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Here comes the weekend, then in a week the holidays. We can go out, or just hang out here, talking about something.”

 

“But I already told you everything yesterday.”

 

“Yes, about your past. But I want to know Shadow, not the person she used to be.”

 

“You want to know me?”

 

“Did I say something else?”

 

“And when do you want to do it?”

 

“There is the whole weekend and the week before holidays, when everyone leaves.” He smiled while saying this, but you felt in other. The others always left for holidays, going to their families. You were the only one staying at the base. Sniper noticed what he just said, and placed a hand on your shoulder with sorry in his eyes. “I forgot about it, sorry.”

 

“Nothing happened.” You said with a weak smile. “I got used to it. It’s been three years, so I got time. Though it’s the worst when Christmas comes.”

 

“Change topic?”

 

“Change topic.”

 

“Can I ask about something I always wanted? But please, be honest!”

“Did I do something else since last night?” As an answer to your question, he laughed.

 

“You know, every time we ask you about the doc, you only say one thing. I hardly spoke to you, but I noticed it really easy.”

 

“What’s the question?”

 

“Are you saying the truth when you say, you’re not his girlfriend?”

 

“Why do you ask?” You blushed in that instant, as he smiled at you. Not knowing why he cared about this was the worst thing. You didn’t know what to say.

 

“Because it seems like you ARE his girlfriend. I’m not asking this to check if you are single or not. I just want to know what’s going on.” You sighed as he made himself clear.

 

“The thing is just… I have needs too. Nothing more. We are close friends, but I don’t love him.”

 

“So you only needed some ‘action’?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And why did you stop it?” You almost dropped your mug. Sniper was really curious, and it surprised you. His questions weren’t the most sensitive ones.

 

“You only want be to be embarrassed?”

 

“No. I just want to know it. And I always wondered why you are covered in hickeys from time to time.” You turned around to see if anyone heard what Sniper just said. For your luck, everyone was busy with their plans for the holidays. “Is it that awkward?”

 

“Let’s just say he’s not the sensitive type! That’s why we stopped these meetings.”

 

“Then why were you with him more than one time?”

 

“How do you know it was more than one time?” Sniper raised his arm to point on your neck. There probably was a mark from your last time with Medic.

 

“Every time I saw something like this on you, I knew something happened.”

 

“Why do you care about it?” As he still watched the mark, you started to feel bad again.

 

“You told me, I can ask anything. I’m just curious, nothing more.”

 

“So you still don’t like me?”

 

“I can’t tell. You are an interesting person, that’s for sure.” He smiled at you, which made you chuckle. After three years, he finally made a move towards you. It was amazing to feel him a little closer to yourself, in both meanings. “What would you do if I fell in love with you?”

 

“What?” Sniper surprised you again. Who brings up a question like this from nowhere?

 

“I’m only curious. It would be strange after these years though. I never even thought I would start liking you. Anything can happen, right?”

 

“I don’t know what I would do. Love is complicated.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“It’s a long story.”

 

“We have time.” He said with a smile.


	4. Victory

“I spoke with the doctor.” Spy said, standing in front of you. “He promised he will look out for you today. I will do the same in case he can’t reach you in time.”

 

“Thanks.” You sat down to load one of your pistols. “Hope I won’t be the most followed target today. For some reason their Spy is always out for me.”

 

“Just try to keep your cloak on, so he can’t find you!” He said looking up. As you followed his sight, you noticed he’s been watching the clock on the wall. One more hour and everyone will rush to the battlefield. When you woke up today, you promised yourself, that you will be the one stealing that intelligence, and lead your team to another victory. You wanted to make them proud of you.

 

“Three days with this one.”

 

“It will be good to go home. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay for the holidays, _reine_? I know you hate being alone.”

 

“I can bear it.” You shrugged, but you were sad deep inside. Everyone will return to their families, and you’ll be here alone for more than a week. “And please don’t call me like this! You know my real name, but I don’t want the others to know it too. It’s not an accident that I never told it to anyone.”

 

“I thought Medic knew it too.” He was surprised for a moment, but after that, he realized what you said three years ago. That you didn’t like hearing your name, because it always made you think about your family, who betrayed you.

 

“It isn’t on any of my papers. I think I’m lucky, that Miss Pauling was my friend in the time I got this job. I don’t even know how you know it.”

 

“I have my ways.” Before you could answer, he tightened his tie, then walked away.

 

You always got this answer any time you brought up this topic. He has his ways. You even thought about the possibility that you two have met before but because of his mask, you couldn’t tell this for sure. Trying to spend some time, you opened then closed the clip of your pistol.

 

“Did he try to scare you?” Came a soft voice from nowhere. You knew who it was, and when you looked up, you saw Engie smiling at you.

 

“He just made sure I’ll have backup if Sniper refuses to help again.” You hardly could imagine this, but you thought it would be better, if you don’t say it out loud. Sniper sought your company the whole weekend, and finally got rid of his awkward questions, which made the two of you talk more enjoyably. No one noticed your missing, except Medic, who maybe was angry about it. After a while you started to avoid him, because when he caught you the only thing he did was rebuking.

 

“I didn’t know Spy can be nice.” Engie chuckled softly. “It seems like you are something special, if he cares about you this much.”

 

“It can be.”

 

“Thirty second!” You heard the Voice through the loudspeaker.

 

Everyone went to the iron door, waiting for it to open. You tried to prepare yourself, because the last few fight before the holidays were always the hardest. These were the bloodiest days, it seemed like everyone tried to do their best to win. You hoped this fight will be the exception, but deep inside you knew it will be as difficult as it used to be.  You couldn’t even pay attention to the Voice counting down the last ten seconds. Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, and as you turned your head, you saw Sniper.

 

“Don’t worry! I’ll help if you need it.” He said, then rushed through the door.

 

*************

Finally you found a safe point. Your arm was bleeding hard after a grenade, what the enemy Demo shot next to you. It killed your Spy, and Medic didn’t answer your calls. You only could hope, someone will find you before you bleed out. You hated the respawn, and the nausea it brought when you woke up with after. You were through this many times by now, but you just couldn’t get used to it. The pain and the sickness were just too bad for you.

 

“Medic, please!” You tried one more time calling him on the earphone. “I’m dying here. Where are you?”

 

Still no answer. Maybe the earphone was wrong? You didn’t see any medical packs near, and you were all out of ammo too. Walking to the nearest respawn point was the only chance you had, but you couldn’t even stand up because of the blood lost. You just sat there and waited for someone to pass. Suddenly footsteps broke the noises of the war. Medic walked over the corner and headed towards you. Even after what happened in the weekend, you were happy to see him. He knelt down beside you, then took your injured arm.

 

“This is a serious damage.” He said with a worrying voice. “I’m sorry I couldn’t reach you in time.”

 

“But you are here now.” You smiled at him, trying to calm the doctor down. “I thought you wouldn’t even come. That something was wrong.”

 

“You have to get up! We’ll go somewhere safer.” He helped you to stand up, then started walking to a blind alley.

 

“Can you forgive me for what I did in the weekend?”

 

“There is nothing to be angry for.”

 

“I know you are just worried about me. I’m sorry I tried to avoid you.”

 

“It’s okay. Don’t talk too much. You will bleed out sooner if you do it.”

 

You sat down, when the two of you finally reached the safer spot. Medic stood right in front of you, only watching your injury. You thought he was trying to assess the damage. Someone shouted behind the wall, and the doctor turned around to see who it was. In that moment, the device built into your right eyes started working. You knew what that meant, so you pulled out a knife. You threw it to the man standing in front of you, and when it hit his right arm, a familiar voice could be heard.

 

“It’s too easy to fool you.” Laughed the enemy Spy. “You’ve been really distracted today, _mon cher_.”

 

“What the hell is your problem?” You watched as he touched the wound on his upper arm. Your knife only scratched his skin, and it was barely bleeding. “Why you always want to defeat me? Only me.”

 

“Not just you. But you are the easiest enemy for me. You are soft as a little _chaton_. Never using spycheck, because you are afraid you could hurt your little friends.”

 

“You make me sick.”

 

“I don’t really care. What are your last words before respawn, _mon cher_?”

 

“And what are yours?” You turned you head to where the voice came from, and saw Sniper with an SMG in his hand.

 

“ _C'est gentil_.” The Spy smiled fulling out his pistol. “The bushman came to save the little girl.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

Sniper raised the gun, then shot the BLU Spy five times in his chest. Your enemy seemed to be surprised about this action. After he fell to the ground, Sniper rushed to you. He helped you up, then took you into a little building. There were some medical packs, and he gave you one of them. As you opened the little box, red mist came out of it which instantly healed all your wounds. Feeling better, you took a deep breath.

 

“Thanks.” You turned to Sniper, who loaded his gun from another box.

 

“No need.” He smiled at you. “Sorry I couldn’t come sooner.”

 

“Why did you come out of your nest?”

 

“Saw everything, but I couldn’t shoot him. You needed help, and Medic was nowhere. I had to come out, and give you a hand.”

 

“I’m really thankful though. This was the first time, you helped me, and it was really nice of you to come here for me.”

 

“I have to head back now.” He said with a blush. “Will you be okay?”

 

“Yes, everything will be alright.”

 

He exited the little house. You opened a wooden box, and loaded your gun with the right ammo. Feeling keener after using the medical pack, you jumped into the fight again. Some of your enemies were surprised to see you. Maybe they thought their Spy made his job, and you were still going under respawn. Taking out their Engineer, you had a clear path to the intelligence room with Scout running after you. He shot the enemy Pyro, who was protecting the final room, you had to pass through. You took the briefcase, then headed to your own base. Scout was in front of you, to clear your path. Almost at the entrance door, you heard a shot which made you turn around. The BLU Scout was right behind you. He was lying on the ground dead. You looked up in the direction where you knew Sniper was hiding, then showed a smile before entering the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reine = queen  
> mon cher = my dear  
> chaton = kitten  
> C'est gentil = How sweet


	5. Friends

“You’re late.” Scout said when you reached the main entrance. As on every Saturday, the two of you went for a run. The past week was rough, and you hoped this program will calm you. While running you always had a chance to drain the unwanted energy from yourself, and the talk with Scout helped your nerves. On these mornings you could give away all your bad feelings. But this time, it was a bit harder.

 

“I had some business.” You tried to hide all of your emotions, but as always Scout was fast in noticing them.

 

“Another letter?”

 

“Let’s go! I’ll tell you in the meantime.” You started running, and he followed you, keeping your speed. “They found my fake address. Miss Pauling comes tomorrow to find me a new one, somewhere further.”

 

“What did they write this time?”

 

“That they will forgive me, if I go home. That they miss me.”

 

“I can imagine that outcome. After all, first they lost your brother, then you.”

 

“They could adopt another child in no time.” The only thing you could feel while saying this was anger. Your parents did this two times by now, and you had a feeling, they would do it again with no emotions at all. It always made you sick, thinking about the way they treated you after the adoption.

 

“Ouch! This was harsh.”

 

“Why? I wasn’t good enough for them, so they got another child, my brother. Seems like he really was smarter than me. He run away as soon as it was possible.” You stopped. An old picture was in your pocket, and now you took it out. “Maybe he is the only member of that family, who I really miss.”

 

“You never told me, he was this close to you.” Scout took the picture from you to take a look. “His face is so familiar. Can it be that I met him once?”

 

“I don’t think so. The last time I saw him was… too many years ago.” Your brother was your only friend until you came to the fortress. Even if you haven’t met him for years. The memories as always made your eyes wet, and you tried to hide them, too. You never liked showing your weaknesses, and it was the softest spot in you.

 

“Do you want a race?” Scout placed a hand on your shoulder. “It always made you feel a bit better.”

 

“I never could beat you.” You said with a weak smile, while taking the picture back into your pocket. “You are the fastest in the world.”

 

“Maybe today will be different.” He chuckled, then started running towards the base. “Who reaches the entrance first will be the winner.”

 

You shook your head, but joined the little game. Scout always made up something like this to make you feel better. It reminded you of your brother, who did the same things for you in the past. As you thought Scout was too fast, you could never reach his speed. You had no chance. Then suddenly, when he were almost at the gates, it looked like he stumbled in his own leg. Scout fell to the ground, but you knew he did it on purpose. You arrived to the door, then looked back with a smile on your face.

 

“Oh, my…” He said with fake sadness. “It seem like, you are the winner today.”

 

“You are unbelievable.” While laughing, you punched him softly in the arm. “When will you go to Boston?”

 

“In the same time when the others leave. You sure you don’t want to come? It would be better, than sitting here alone.”

 

“Don’t you fear that your mother would think something wrong?”

 

“At least my brothers would pay attention on you, instead of me. Some of them would surely like you.”

 

“I will stay, if you don’t mind.” You shrugged. “Need some peace after this week.”

 

“Then I will bring something for you. The only thing I know about girls is that they like presents.”

 

“Coming inside?” You pointed at the door, but Scout only shook his head.

 

“I want to run a bit more. But you can go, if you want.”

 

He waved, then got away. He wasn’t the only one who asked a question similar to this. Some of the boys although told you, that you can go with them, or they were offering, that they will stay with you here. No one wanted you to be alone, and it was very nice of them, but it always made you a bit sad. You thought about the loving family they all had, but you never really did. Your real parents gave you up, and the adopted ones were crazy. Miss Pauling offered you many times that she will look for your parents, but you always denied it.

 

In this hour the sun was still under the horizon. It painted the sky into a beautiful purple color. You took a deep breath, and let the chilly air fill your chest, then you entered the base. It was still early in the morning, so the others were still sleeping. Except the night owl Sniper, who was in the kitchen. You couldn’t see what he was doing, but you wanted to say ‘good morning’. You went closer to him, then placed a hand on his back. It came to your mind too late, but maybe it wasn’t a really good idea to sneak up on someone who gets backstabbed almost every day. Suddenly he turned around and the only thing you felt in the next moment was a sharp pain in your shoulder.

 

“Bloody hell!” Sniper said when he realized that you were the one behind him. Maybe he was making breakfast, because he had a knife in his hand. He accidentally cut your shoulder with it. You played your hand on the wound, but it didn’t hurt as much, as he thought. “I’m so sorry!”

 

“It was my fault.” You tried to calm him down. “I shouldn’t have come to you from behind.”

 

“And I should have known it can’t be an enemy.”

 

“Nothing happened.”

 

“It did! You are bleeding.”

 

“Just a scratch. I had more serious wounds before.” You smiled at him, hoping it will calm him a bit, but nothing happened. “If you want it, I can go to Medic, and then come back.” As you turned around you saw Spy standing in front of you.

 

“The doctor has other thing to do now.” He told you, but his sight stuck on Sniper. “He asked me to be left alone.”

 

“Then what should I do?” You had no idea what was going on. Spy surely concealed something, which was known by the other man behind you. You turned around to see Sniper taking out a little box from one of the cupboards.

 

“I will help!” He told you, then took your hand and led you to the couch. You sat down and watched how he took out a needle from the box. “I can use first aid this much. If the doc says, he wants to be alone, then let it be.” He started witching your wound with safe hands.

 

“I’ll see how the doctor is doing!” Said Spy, then he left the room.

 

“Next time you want to sneak up on me, please tell me first!” Sniper chuckled, while wiping off the blood from your arm. “This surely hurts.”

 

“As I said, I had more serious wounds before.” You tried to read some emotions off his face, but nothing could be seen on him. “Like when I stepped on a sticky bomb. Respawn is a good thing, but it doesn’t make the pain go away.”

 

“How does it come that you are up this early?” He tried to move the subject. Hurting you surely made him feel bad, so you decided to move with him.

 

“I always go running on Saturday mornings with Scout. It clears my mind.”

 

“That will do.” He smiled, as he wrapped the gash with some roll bandage.

 

“Thank you. Do you know what’s up with Medic lately? It feels like he’s avoiding me the whole week.”

 

“I don’t know.” He shrugged sadly. “Tried to speak with him, but he surely has some serious business in his lab.”

 

“I think he’s only packing for the journey. Medic is always so painstaking.”

 

“Yeah, surely.” You didn’t want to ask about this secret the two men had, but Sniper’s face told you, he wanted to tell it. You had a strange feeling, that you have to hug him, but you didn’t have the courage to do so. The two of you were close now, but it was still hard to make contact with him. In the end you only placed one of your hands on his shoulder. He looked into your eyes, then showed a smile. You did the same. Sniper suddenly grabbed your hand, and pulled you closer to himself. He hugged you. “You really are a good friend.”


	6. Gift

Why? Why did those words hurt? ‘You really are a good friend.’ He was kind to you, but it still hurt you. You only could think about this on the whole weekend. It was hard to try to hide this from the others. Then came the Monday, when everyone left the fortress. You finally had a chance to think it through, and take everything back to its place in your head. When you woke up, the team had already left, and that meant one thing for you in the first place. You could shower as long as you want without fearing about being seen by anyone. Still thinking about Saturday, you went to the kitchen to find some breakfast. You felt so relaxed from the hot shower, that you haven’t even noticed, the little television behind you was on.

 

“Good morning!” As you heard a voice, you almost dropped your plate. Turning around you saw Sniper sitting on the couch.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Drinking my coffee.” He laughed as he raised his mug.

 

“I mean what are you doing here in the base? I thought you went home, as everyone else.”

 

“Not this year. My parents saved some money to come here. They want to see where I work.”

 

“Is this accepted?” His words surprised you. You never heard of guests coming here.

 

“They won’t come to our base. They are staying in the town.”

 

“I see.” When you looked into his eyes, your mind automatically turned back to Saturday again. ‘You really are a good friend.’

 

“Look, I…” His good mood gone away, as he noticed your expressions. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“What?”

 

“It was a bad idea to hug you? Or I said something wrong? Or you just have hard feelings after I accidentally cut you?”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“You ran away, and avoided me the whole Sunday.”

 

“I didn’t. Miss Pauling came to me, I had a business with her.” This wasn’t exactly a lie. You really were with her in the forenoon, and you only didn’t tell why you hid in your room the afternoon.

 

“What was that business?”

 

“I had some problems with the life I turned my back to. Can’t tell you any more things about it.”

 

“Then” he stood up, then came closer to you “everything alright between us?”

 

“Totally. Everything is fine.” When you answered this, he started smiling, then placed a hand on your shoulder. He caressed your whole arm, and you saw in his eyes, that he was far away from here. “Sniper? Everything okay?”

 

“Just lost in thoughts.” He shook his head, then looked back into your eyes. “You know what day is it today?”

 

“Don’t remind me, please!” You took a deep breath. There came that familiar bad feeling. You knew that even now that he stayed, his parents will wait for him tonight and you will be alone again.

 

“My parents and I are going to a restaurant. We always celebrate with a dinner, and they want to keep this tradition even here.”

 

“Have fun then!” You forced yourself into a weak smile. Not wanting to ruin his mood, you tried to look happy.

 

“And what are your plans?”

 

“Just spending time, then going to sleep. Maybe eat something. I don’t really have plans.”

 

“It sounds a bit boring. Let’s have some action!”

 

“How?”

 

“Come with me tonight!”

 

“What?” You felt like, he only wanted to surprise you in every moment today. You going out with him? And his parents? It was the strangest idea you heard, and it made you feel a bit frustrated. But why?

 

“You can’t spend Christmas evening alone. Plus they will have someone to talk to. You know how unsocial I am. I’m not the talkative one in this team.”

 

“You talk to me a lot.”

 

“It’s different with you. I feel like an open book, when I’m with you.” You blushed when he said that. Maybe you are special for him? This thought was in your head for only a moment. You realized this only can be, because the two of you started to come closer just not so long ago. “What do you say?”

 

“I don’t really know.”

 

“It would mean a lot to me.” You blushed even more. Though you couldn’t tell what he meant by this, you knew you can’t see too much into this.

 

******

You didn’t know why, but you felt nervous. Thinking too long about what to wear for this occasion, you finally choose a simple, but nice dress. You took deep breathes, trying to calm yourself down, as you went to the main entrance. Outside Sniper was waiting for you in a suit. As you looked at him, your heart skipped a beat for some reason. He turned around and showed a smile, when he saw you.

 

“How do I look?” You were happy it was already dark, so he couldn’t see you blush while asking this.

 

“You are… Beautiful.”

 

“Are we going with your van?”

 

“If it’s not a problem, we will walk. I don’t want my parents to think anything wrong about me.”

 

“Well, the town isn’t so far away.”

 

*******

“Are they there already?” You hid in a corner before reaching the restaurant.

 

“What are you afraid of?” He laughed. It seemed like he was having fun watching you.

 

“Your father doesn’t like your job. What will he say about mine? Even you hated me because of it.”

 

“Then we won’t tell him what you really do.” He grabbed your hand, then took you in front of his parents.

 

“I’m so happy to see you again, Mick!” His mother hugged him, which made you feel strange. It looked like she really missed Sniper.

 

“We are glad you came, son.” His father only gave him a handshake. You knew that he wasn’t really glad about being here.

 

“And you have to the girl we’ve heard about.” The woman came closer to you, then gave you a big smile. “Mick didn’t speak about you until a week ago. I’m glad we finally meet.”

 

“She’s Shadow, my colleague and friend.” Again that pain in your heart. Why does this word hurt so much now?

 

“I think it’s time to go inside.” Sniper’s father quickly turned around and went into the restaurant.

 

“Don’t worry, my dear!” His mother tried to calm you. “He’s just tired of the long journey.” She went after her husband, and you wanted to go too, but Sniper grabbed your wrist.

 

“Don’t pay attention to my dad! You aren’t his problem.”

 

“None taken.” You wanted to pay back for this awkward introduction, and you exactly knew how to do it. “So, it’s Mick, isn’t it?”

 

“You can’t laugh about my name.” He tried to be serious, but you heard a little smile in his voice. “Now you know mine, but I still don’t know what yours is.”

 

It was like this one sentence took away your good mood for the whole night. While the dinner went on, you felt regret. Why did he have to say this? When his parents asked you anything, your answers were short and straightforward. You lost your appetite, so the waiter always had to take your almost untouched plates. You tried to force yourself to show a smile, but it was hopeless. Sniper tried to save the situation with everything he could think about. He tried to make jokes, and talked even more then he usually used to. You thought he spoke more on this night, then he ever did.

 

“Why don’t you tell how you made us win last time?” He wanted to make you speak even after the dessert.

 

“You did it, not me.” You shook your head, then took a glance at his father. The old man didn’t even look at you the whole night. You knew that he felt distaste towards you from the first moment.

 

“This place is really nice Mick.” Even Sniper’s mother tried to make the situation less awkward. “I’m glad we could come here. It was really generous from you to help us get away from home a bit.”

 

“Wait, what?” You turned to Sniper, who was pale now. You finally figured out why his parents are really here.

 

“Come with me!” He grabbed your hand, then took you outside the restaurant.

 

“You told me, they are here because they wanted to see where you work.”

 

“I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t tell the whole truth.”

 

“So, you stayed on purpose?” You was angry, but deep inside it made you feel touched.

 

“I stayed because I wanted to help you. I couldn’t leave you alone during Christmas after what you just told me. I didn’t do it because I feel sorry for you, but because I think you deserved this. I treated you badly for three years. You deserved a normal night out.”

 

“I want to end this night.”

 

“Okay, just wait a minute! I’ll go and talk to them.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

You couldn’t go back to his parents now. He made them come here from Australia, because he didn’t want you to be alone. It was touching, but you felt bad about it. You simply left him there and went back to the fortress alone. You knew that this night was already a bad idea when he asked you out. But you should have known you should have said no. Why did he even do it? Thinking about it, you reached the entrance door to the base. Suddenly you heard someone calling you from behind and as you turned around you saw Sniper running towards you.

 

“What is it now?” You asked when he was finally standing before you.

 

“I know I messed it up.” He started with remorse in his eyes. “But I really wanted to give an enjoyable night for you. I wanted to help with this.”

 

“What will happen with your parents now?”

 

“I spoke with them. They decided to go home tomorrow. What can I do to make you forgive me?”

 

“Go home with them!”

 

“What?” He looked frightened, and you knew why. It wasn’t the softest way to say this, so you overcame your fears and gave him a hug, hoping it will calm him.

 

“I want you to go with them and celebrate Christmas as you used to do. Spend the rest of this holiday normally! You did a great thing for me and I’m really tankful. But I don’t want you to ruin every habit you usually do, only because of me.”

 

“Why was I this blind until now?” You could hear in his voice that he was smiling right now. “I should have seen how good you are years ago.”

 

“Better later, than never. Good night then!” You started to go inside, but Sniper grabbed your hand and pulled you back.

 

“There is one more thing.”

 

“What thing?”

 

“I asked my mom to do it, because I don’t really know what you like. But when she came back with this I kind of regretted it a bit.” He took out a little koala plush from his pocket. You couldn’t help it, but started laughing.

 

“What’s this?”

 

“It’s yours.” He gave you the toy, which you watched with a smile. It was a strange gesture, but you felt happy about it. It was so nice, that he thought about you. While you were admiring the plush, suddenly you felt Sniper’s lips on your cheek. “Merry Christmas!”


	7. Reveal

“Why do I feel bad, when I look at you?” The plush was on the table in front of you. After almos a week, you couldn’t think about anything else than the moment when Sniper gave it to you. And the fact, that you didn’t give him anything in return. It was your last night alone, and you wanted to enjoy it, but something didn’t let you do so. There were some empty bottles on the table. You tried to drink something, hoping it will make you feel calmer. After the fifth beer you found yourself talking to the stuffed koala. You knew it would not answer, but it made you feel less lonely. “It’s a shame, you look so cute.”

“Who are you talking to?” You turned around to see who spoke to you. Medic stood there with his suitcase in his hand. He put it down, then came closer to you. “You drank all these?” There were nine bottles on the table, and you held one in your hand. You felt dizzy from the alcohol, but you understood the question and nodded. “Are you okay?” He didn’t speak to you for two weeks and now he was asking this. It was really strange, and it made you feel confused. You shook your head, which made him sit down next to you, then he hugged you. “Come! We have to go to my lab.”

Medic helped you up, then with his arms around you he started to lead you. You two were almost at the door when the room began to move around you. While placing one hand on your temple, you stopped. Medic stood in front of you with worried eyes. As you looked into his eyes, a strange feeling started to grow inside you. Suddenly you fell into the doctor’s arms, then everything blacked out.

********  
You woke up with a terrible head ache. The smell of the room wasn’t the scent of yours. As you tried to sit up, you felt something touching your arm. You turned your head to see what it was, and saw Medic lying next to you. Panic came over you when you realized that he was almost naked.

“Oh, no!” You looked through your body and only noticed then, that your clothes were all gone.

“Calm down!” As he said that, you turned your head towards him.

“Did we…”

“We just slept. I didn’t touch you, I swear. At least not like you think I did.”

“What?” You noticed only now, that the bandage and the wound from your upper arm disappeared.

“What happened to you? It was a quite deep gash.”

“Sniper accidentally cut me. It was nothing.”

“And who gave you first aid?”

“Sniper stitched it. You weren’t talking to me, so I needed another option.” After your answer, he stood up and started to put on some clothes.

“Erst meine Geliebte, und jetzt mein Job…” His words made you feel pain in your chest. Medic wasn’t angry though. His voice was rather sad, as he murmured to himself.

“Medic?” He turned around all dressed up.

“What?” You figured out that he didn’t even think about you understanding his words.

“I just…” You wanted to talk about it with him. But it wouldn’t be a good idea to speak it through here where he had the equipment to erase this from your memory. Medic was watching you, so you had to think about an excuse quickly. Then it suddenly hit you. “Would you like to come to town with me?”

“Warum?” His voice softened as you blushed.

“I have some business there and it would be a good chance to have a talk.”

“About what?”

“Anything. I want to make everything up between us.”

“Really?” He blushed when you nodded. You really wanted to fix your relationship, but you knew it will be hard with the thing you just found out. “Well, I think it would be nice to take a walk.”

“I’ll get dressed, then we can go.” You started to collect your clothes, but when you reached out for your shirt, Medic grabbed your hand. “What’s the problem?”

“You have to wear something that covers your neck.”

“What?” You placed your hand on your throat. It was painful to touch it, but you didn’t know why. You ran to the doctor’s mirror to see the bruises which where all over your skin there. “What happened to me?” A small panic came over to you. Did he lie to you? Did he touch you last night?

“I tried to give you the needed medication, but you always bit me when I came closer. I had to hold you down, and this was the only way that got into my mind. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t have any turtlenecks. And a cardigan won’t hide it.”

“I can use some roll bandage if you don’t mind.”

“What do you think? How long will this be there?”

“I can’t heal it with my gun, but these kinds of bruises pass quickly. Maybe a week.”

“I don’t want the others to see it. I hope you understand it.”

“Natürlich.” While he covered your neck with the bandage, you tried to be as still as it was possible. It felt like his fingers wondered away sometimes, like he was caressing you. There was a fear in your mind that he will hate you after you tell him, you can’t reciprocate his feelings.

¬¬¬¬¬**********

“Are you ashamed about how I found you last night?” Medic asked after a long silence. The two of you almost reached the town and spent the whole journey quietly. You had no idea how to start the conversation, and when you finally found out a way, you had to collect the needed courage to speak.

“A bit.”

“You don’t have to. I know something bothered you enough to drink those beers. You don’t usually get drunk, so I won’t judge you. What was the problem?”

“Well…” You had to come up with something again. After what he said, you couldn’t just tell him the thing with Sniper. And you still had to make everything clear for yourself too. “Just someone made me feel uncomfortable. That’s all.”

“Are you angry?”

“I don’t really know. I shouldn’t be, because it was a nice gesture, but…” Those thoughts came back to you as you told this to Medic. Your heart started to ache again, and you tried to decrease it with placing your hand on your chest. “I don’t like if people feel sorry for me because of my past.”

“Does it have to do something with the stuffed animal I found?”

“What?” You turned your head to him, and saw sadness in his eyes. It wasn’t hard to figure out who gave you the plush.

“You have feelings for the Australian, haven’t you?” It was the moment, when you knew you had to come up with the thing that bothered you since the morning.

“Can I ask you something?” He looked sadder, then before when you only said these words. You realized, that you didn’t answer his question. But why didn’t you?

“Sicher.”

“What do you know about me?”

“Everything you told me.” Medic shrugged, then looked away. It was obvious to you, that he was jealous, but this wasn’t the time to comfort him. “Warum? Is there something else you want to tell me?”

“Ich schpreche Deutsch.” After you said these words, he turned back to you. Medic was afraid. He probably only realized now, that you understood the things he said to himself earlier.

“Why are you telling this to me?”

“You exactly know why. You like me, don’t you?”

“Nein.” He stopped walking. You turned to him, and waited for his reaction, but nothing happened for some minutes. Medic only watched you, then took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I love you. And I just realized that I can’t expect you to feel the same, if you don’t even know the difference.”

“What do you mean by this?” Again you started to feel anger. Was Medic insulting you now?

“You need to grow up!” He raised his voice, almost shouting at you. “You don’t even have an idea how many hearts you broke through the years.”

“What are you talking about?”

“First there is me,” as he started counting he raised up a finger for each people he was naming. “then I don’t think that Spy and Scout only cared about you this much, because you are their friend. And now you have Sniper too.”

“What?” After the last name, your heart almost skipped a beat. You couldn’t tell what Medic was thinking, but it surely wasn’t a good thing.

“I heard that phone call, what he had with his parents before we left. And that little toy that he gave you… What the hell do you think is going on?”

“First of all” you started while shutting your eyes closed. “you can’t blame me because I can’t return your feelings. And second of all, you are just wrong about Sniper.” As he rolled his eyes, the pain came back into your chest. “He only stayed because he wanted to pay those three years back. He felt like he had a debt towards me. And now that he did this, I’m sure he will spend less time with me. After all I’m only a friend for him.”

You waited for his reaction, but he didn’t do anything again. Medic looked into your eyes for minutes with the same expression, then suddenly his face softened. Raising an arm he reached out to your head, and touched your cheek. His hand was soft because of the gloves he always wore. You didn’t know what he was doing, but it wasn’t a bad thing, you were sure. After he pulled back his arm, you noticed a teardrop on one of his fingers. You quickly rubbed your eyes only to find out there were more of it.

“I’m sorry.” Medic was sympathetic.

“It’s not what you think!” You weren’t sure who you wanted to convince, him or yourself.

“The easiest way to process is the denial. Trust me, I know it personally.”

“Does it even matter?”

“What do you mean?”

“Our contract forbids us to have any kind of relationship with our colleagues. A friendship is okay, but anything other would be violation against the rules. I don’t want to lose my job because of a stupid thing like this.”

“Or you don’t want to get his job into danger.”

“Stop giving other meanings to my words! We are only friends with him.”

“Ja, sicher…” He rolled his eyes again. “I whisper the name of my friends too in my sleep.”

“What?” This information made you blush. It was both awkward and confusing. You wanted to come up with an excuse for it, but it was hard. “The word ‘sniper’ can mean many other things too.”

“Yes, it can. But the name ‘Mick’ doesn’t have other meanings.”

“But how…” You didn’t even finish the question, when it hit you. The doctor surely knows everyone’s name. He has those files in his lab, which have every information about every team member.

“Genau. I see you figured it out by yourself.”

“And what do you think I could do now?”

“Just accept it. Maybe after some time it will pass away, but if you hide it in yourself, it will break out in the worst moment that’s possible. I did the same, and you can see what just happened.”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you started to spend more time with Sniper, I got jealous.” A pale blush appeared on his face, like he was ashamed of the thing he wanted to tell you. “I wanted to bury it in my mind, but when you avoided me that weekend, everything broke out from me. It was a silent monster, so I don’t think you noticed it.”

“Notice what?”

“That I refused every contact with you for days.”

As he said that, you figured out everything from your last battles. Medic wasn’t just busy that day. He only wanted to avoid you. It was hard to tell what you were thinking in that moment. You could be angry, because he broke his promise what he told to Spy, but for some reason you felt something else. It was… sympathy? You probably would have done the same thing in his situation. Medic surely was confused at that time, just like you were after Sniper gave you that plush. The only difference was that Sniper wasn’t nearby, so you couldn’t flood him with your feelings.

Medic was the only one who perfectly understood what you were going through. As you watched him, you realized he was waiting for your reaction. For a moment you wanted to run away and forget about him forever, but then it changed. The sadness and the fear in his eyes made you feel sympathy, and you wanted to calm him. You took a step closer to him, then raised your hands to give him a hug.

“Can we still be friends after this?” He asked.

“Of course.” Suddenly you felt him returning the hug.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erst meine Geliebte, und jetzt mein Job = First my love, and now my job  
> Warum? = Why?  
> Natürlich = Of course  
> Sicher = Sure  
> Ich schpreche Deutsch = I speak German  
> Nein = No  
> Ja = Yes  
> Genau = Exactly


	8. In the town

“And what is that business we came here for?” Medic asked while the two of you were passing shop windows.

 

“I just wanted to buy something.” You weren’t sure if it would be a good idea to tell him the exact reason. After that talk, you didn’t want to speak about Sniper with him.

 

“A gift for the Australian?” You blushed when he asked this question. How did he find it out? “Don’t be like this! I want things to be normal between us, like it was before.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“ _Sicher_.”

 

“Well…” You finally shrugged, then took a deep breath. “Sniper gave a gift to me for Christmas, and it was so nice, but…”

 

“But you feel remorse, because you gave him nothing.”

 

“Exactly. But I don’t even know what he likes.” You turned your head in the direction you thought he was, but saw nothing. You stopped to look around, and found him staring at a window. “Medic?”

 

“Isn’t this the same toy he gave you?” Medic pointed to something through the glass. As you walked next to him to see, what he wanted to show, you saw two koalas. They were almost the same as yours, but they both had a little white shirt on them, with a label: I <3 You. “I never understood why people use the heart as the symbol of love. This feeling only exists in your mind.”

 

“But it would be weird to draw a little brain on everything that you give to your lover.”

 

“Because giving stuffed animals to each other is so much romantic?”

 

“You have a point there.” The more time you watched the toys, the more you were thinking about their shirt. Where could be your koala’s one? Like Medic knew what you were wondering about, he opened his bag and took your plush out of it. “Why did you bring it here?”

 

“I wanted to give it back to you, but I forgot about it.”

 

“I can understand that.” You took the toy from him, then examined its neck. As you thought there were some white threads. Sniper cut off the shirt. “I told you, he only sees me as a friend.”

 

“Maybe he just didn’t want to tell you like this.”

 

“There were only the two of us in the night. What other time could be that perfect for a statement?”

 

“Do you want to tell him the truth?” It was interesting question, but you weren’t sure about the answer. What if he will reject your feelings? But if you won’t tell him, you may never know his answer.

 

“I’m not sure if that would be a good idea.”

 

“ _Scheiß daraus_!” He suddenly raised his voice. “Secrets can be kept. If you let that contract come between you and him, then you don’t love him enough.”

 

“Why are you helping me with this?” As you looked into his eyes, Medic blushed and softened his voice.

 

“If I personally can’t make you feel it, then I want to help you to get everything you need to be happy. So?”

 

“I’m just afraid he won’t accept my feelings. He told me that I am a really good friend, and I don’t think he would think about me as a woman.”

 

“If he doesn’t see you as me, then he is just an unfortunate _Miststück_.” He turned his gaze somewhere else, but you just couldn’t tell where. Medic was taller than you, just like everyone in the team. “Can you wait for me here? I have something to do on the other side of the road.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“It will only be twenty minutes.”

 

He smiled at you, then went away. After Medic disappeared in the crowd, a group of children attacked the toy store where you were standing. They pushed you further from the window right into an alley. You leaned to the wall, then lifted up the plush in your hand. The things Medic just said made you think. If Sniper loved you, then why did he cut off the shirt from the koala? Did you really want to know the truth? As you looked into the lifeless eyes of the toy, you suddenly made up your mind. Yes.

 

“This is heartwarming.” A voice came from next to you. As you turned your head you saw a tall man looking at you.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“I’m so impolite. Let me fresh up your memories!” He pulled out something from his pocket, then turned away. When he looked back at you, the recognition hit you. The BLU Spy was right in front of you with an evil smile.

 

“Can’t I have a peaceful holiday?” Standing into a fighting pose, you took some steps backwards.

 

“Don’t worry, _mon cher_! I’m not here to hurt you.” He came closer to you into the alley. No one seemed to notice the two of you there. In that moment you wished that Medic would be already there. “I only came here to take a walk, but then I saw you here.”

 

“What do you want?” You only could hope, that he didn’t bring any weapons. Medic made you keep your pistols at the base, and you didn’t want to use your blades now.

 

“Just talk about someone. Your Spy, to be exact.”

 

“Why would I sit down and have a talk with you?”

 

“Because I know why he’s so protective with you.” He let out a soft chuckle. “I can’t even imagine how you couldn’t get this information sooner.”

 

“Enough! I don’t want to hear it.”

 

“ _C'est triste_. If I were you, I would definietly want to know that a long lost someone is near to me.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

You couldn’t take your anger longer. Fear showed in his eyes as you jumped on him. He grabbed both your hands, so you couldn’t beat him. Suddenly your enemy kicked you to the wall, which made your lungs collapse. You could hardly breathe, and you fall to the ground. When BLU’s Spy came closer to you with his knife, you knew there was no other choice for you. Activating the blades that were built into your fingers, you struck on him again. He raised his arms to defend himself, then pushed you back to the wall. At first you felt nothing, but after some minutes the pain hit you. As you reached to your stomach, you felt cold metal there. Your enemy was watching at his hands, which were covered in blood. Your blood.

 

“Shadow?” You knew it was Medic looking for you. The Spy heard it too, so he cloaked himself with a small cloud of smoke. “Where are you?”

 

“Over here!” You shouted weakly. When the doctor appeared on the corner and saw you, his eyes widened with fear. He ran to you, then started to examine the large wound.

 

“ _Gott_. What happened to you?”

 

“I just met the enemy Spy.”

 

“Why did he attack you on a cease-fire day?” He tried to cover you with some bandage, so won’t bleed out until the two of you return to the base.

 

“He didn’t. I attacked him.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Stay in the shadows until we get out of the town! I don’t want anyone to see us.” You activated your cloak system, which let you stay hidden, until you stepped out to the sunlight. “Be careful!”

 

************

 

After you finally left the last building and reached the desert, you deactivated your cloak. Medic was next to you, making it sure that no one touched you in the crowd.

 

“I’m glad I had my claws.” You said as the doctor lifted you up. He hold you close to himself in his arms. “You don’t have to do this. I can walk.”

 

“I know, but if I let you do so, you would bleed out sooner.”

 

“Can’t you at least take this knife out? It hurts when you take a step.”

 

“It would cause the same effect. The blade keeps your blood in there a little longer. Will you tell me now, what happened?”

 

“He said, that he had some information about our Spy. Don’t know what came over me, but I just lost my mind.”

 

“Maybe that rampage mode that you got two weeks ago. Miss Pauling surely wants to keep you here with us.”

 

“She only wants me to do my job better. After all, I have to replace everyone if needed. Maybe that was the true reason why Sniper hated me. Because he feared about losing his job.”

 

“No one should fear about it. Don’t get me wrong. You are a good fighter, but you only have the shadow of our powers.”

 

“It’s easy for you to say that. You are the only one who I can’t replace.”

 

“Sooner or later, you will have the power to do it. I’m still working on that new weapon for you, but I can tell that I’m close.” He sounded excited. Every time someone asked him about his work, he always did the same. Started to talk about it with a childish smile on his face. “I finally made a cartridge with some sort of miniature übercharge. I’m planning if you shoot someone of our team with it, then it will charge them in that instant. Isn’t it just perfect?”

 

“It surely is.” You said with a weak smile, then started thinking again. What could that bastard mean by that? How could you know Spy from your past? Maybe you could make him taking off his mask, then you could know the truth. But what if the truth wouldn’t be so good for you? Could he be your… No, it would be impossible. You felt ridiculous because of this thought. How could you think about that?

 

“Shadow?” Medic called you for who knows how many times by now. You only realized now, that you closed your eyes while you were thinking. “Please tell me, if you are close to fainting. I need you to be awake for only a little longer. We are almost at the base.”

 

“What will happen if I pass out?”

 

“Nothing bad. We are in the respawn zone, but I don’t want you to die now. Who knows if that thing works on holidays? I need you to tell me how you feel if I ask.”

 

“I’m tired.”

 

“ _Ich weiß_. But you can’t sleep now. I will let you after I healed you, but until then please stay awake.”

 

“I’ll try.”

 

You focused all your strength to keep your eyes open, but it was really hard. From the blood loss, you felt like your eyelids were made out of Saturn. It seemed like an eternity until the doctor finally laid you on his operating table. After the red steam hit your body, the wound started to close. When it was almost healed, Medic told you that you can do whatever you wanted. You were still tired, so you only closed your eyes to have some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sicher = Sure  
> Scheiß daraus = Fuck it  
> Miststück = bastard  
> mon cher = my dear  
> C'est triste = It's sad  
> Gott = God  
> Ich weiß = I know


	9. What now?

You woke up in one of the beds in the infirmary. Your stomach still hurt, but at least it was healed. From a sudden idea, you touched your neck to see if the bruises gone too, but for your sorrow, the bandage was still there. As you sat up, something smooth fell from your arms. For your surprise it was the little plush.

 

“ _Guten morgen_.” Medic came into the room with a pile of clothes. “How are you today?”

 

“I’m okay, I think.” You answered as you pulled on the dress he gave you. “It still hurts where the wound was, but not as much as yesterday.”

 

“Some of the others want to see you. They arrived two hours ago, and asked about you.”

 

“What did you say?”

 

“That you had an accident in the town. I told them that a car hit you, so you don’t have to explain anything.”

 

“Thank you.” As you watched the bed, you realized something, what made you feel bad. You rubbed your eyes, then stood up with a sad grin.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I forgot to buy the gift I wanted. I went to the town for only one thing, and I couldn’t do it.”

 

“Don’t worry about that.” He said, then pulled out a box from his pocket. He threw it to you, and when you opened it you found a necklace with five crocodile teeth on it. “That’s why I went to that store. I know Sniper, and I’m sure he will like it.”

 

“Thank you so much!” With a happy smile you hugged him. “How could I…”

 

“You don’t have to do anything. I did it because I want to help you, but you don’t have to thank me.”

 

“But I really want to…”

 

“If you want to do something to repay this, then tell him the truth. _Bitte_.”

 

“Can I see her?” A voice came from behind the door. Medic made a growl, then Spy came in.

 

“I’ll leave you two alone. I’m sure you have something to talk about.” The doctor looked at you with an encouraging smile, then left the room.

 

“What is he talking about?” Spy asked confused. You knew you only had one chance, and you had to use it carefully. You looked at the man standing in front of you. He had casual clothes on, but he wore his mask too. “Shadow?”

 

“Who are you?” That was the only question you asked him. Spy watched you with fear in his eyes. He must know it.

 

“You have amnesia? I’m Spy. Your teammate.”

 

“You know what I meant by this. Who’s hiding behind your mask?” He took some steps backwards, and tried to open the door, but Medic locked it after he left.

 

“You can’t hide from me forever.” You started to walk towards him, but Spy suddenly activated his cloak. “Oh, please… I thought you were smarter than this.” The little device in your eye activated itself, and finally you could see through his disguise. He didn’t move an inch, maybe he was hoping, that you won’t find him. You pretended like you didn’t see him, and walked to the corner of the room. When you saw Spy calming down a bit, you suddenly turned around then grabbed his arms. “What are you afraid of? I thought about every possible outcome, and there is nothing that can make me angry.”

 

You took one of his knives, then used it to angle his arm by his shirt to the wall. After that, you deactivated his cloak, so you could see him better. His eyes were sad, but you knew you had to do it. You grabbed his mask, then pulled it off from his head. This view was in your mind too, but as you finally saw his face… Was it regret that you felt? That it would have been better not to know who he was? For your surprise you weren’t angry, but you had to process this. You needed to be alone.

 

You kicked the door, which made Medic open it. After the lock clicked, you first rushed out of the infirmary, then the whole base. While you were running, everyone shouted your name, hoping you would stop. But you were only paying attention on your thoughts. When you reached a cliff, you finally stopped. Sitting on the edge of the rock, you tried to think everything through. It was still hard to believe, what his true identity was. Why didn’t he tell you this? You had the right to know it, but he kept it a secret. Everything made sense now.

 

***************

 

You spent the whole day there. The thought of going back was too painful, and you wanted to calm down, before talking to him again. As the sun went down, the air changed too. It was colder, and you didn’t bring any warm clothes with you. Close to midnight, you heard footsteps coming towards you. After activating your cloak, you hoped that the visitor didn’t see you there. But he did. You felt a blanket on your shoulders, then someone sat down next to you. It was Sniper.

 

“You knew it, didn’t you?” You asked him, while deactivating your cloak.

 

“Yes, but it wasn’t my job to tell you.” He was right, but you were too disturbed to tell him. “Are you angry?”

 

“Yes, but not because who he is. He didn’t have the courage to tell me, even though I had the right to know it.”

 

“And how do you feel about me? Are you mad at me?”

 

“No. You were right, it’s not your job.” You turned your head to him, and noticed that he was watching you. He sat close to you, and he didn’t wear his sunglasses. Without it you finally had a chance to look into his eyes. The deep brown irises made you feel something strong, but it only lasted until his words from a week ago came back into your mind.

 

“The doc told me what happened to you. Why you wanted to go into town?”

 

“I just…” You still had the box in your hands, but now, that this moment came, you weren’t sure if you wanted to give it to him. “I had some business there.”

 

“You know that you can be honest with me.” He placed a hand on your shoulder.

 

“Look, you payed your debt. You don’t have to do this anymore.”

 

“But I want to. I want to help you with everything.”

 

“Why?” After some minutes of silence, he stood up, then offered you a hand to help you up too.

 

“I’ll tell you, if you answer my question first!”

 

“Okay.” You took a deep breath, then gave him the little box. After he opened it carefully, a little smile appeared on his face. “I felt remorse, because I didn’t give you anything, but you made this the best Christmas of my life. I never felt so happy like that before. Do you like it?”

 

“It’s perfect.” His smile warmed up your heart. The only thing you wanted right now was to… How could you think about this? You blushed as the thought came into your mind. At last, you decided to just hug Sniper. “What happened to you? The last time we saw each other, you hardly could touch me.” He chuckled softly.

 

“How do you know it?”

 

“I can see everything.” You took some steps back, with red face. Did he know about your feelings too? “Come! We have to go back.”

 

“But you didn’t answer my question. I made my part of the deal, and now it’s your turn.”

 

“I promise I will tell you, after the firework.” He grabbed your hand, then started to walk towards the base with you behind him.

 

The others were already outside, waiting for you two. They sat on blanket, and you stopped behind them. You looked for Medic’s gaze, and when you finally found it, you saw that he was smiling. After a few minutes, the first firework flew through the sky. It was followed by many others, which all had beautiful colors. All the bad things that happened last week were fading in you, as the flames painted the dark sky. It was beautiful, and made you remember, why you always waited for this night in every year. Suddenly you realized that Sniper was still holding your hand. You wondered what would happen if you just took it from him. You tried to move away, but he only squeezed a bit harder. You turned to him only to see, that he was watching you as well.

 

Sniper smiled at you, then took a glance on the others. After he was sure, they weren’t seeing you, he took some steps backwards with you. Your heart started to beat faster, as he pulled you closer. Sniper took his arms around you, then looked into your eyes.

 

“As I promised.” He came closer, and suddenly you felt his lips on yours. Many thoughts came into your mind, but when Sniper placed a hand on your cheek, it made everything disappear again. But there was one thing that you couldn’t let go. You broke out from his embrace after almost a minute. “I’m sorry. I thought…”

 

“Don’t be! You thought right. I want this.”

 

“But?”

 

“But you know our contract. I don’t want to put our job into danger. If anyone figures it out…” You couldn’t finish your sentence, because he kissed you again.

 

“I can keep secrets.”

 

“I know, but…”

 

“Can’t we just enjoy these moments?” You turned your head towards the others. They didn’t even notice you were gone, so you finally nodded. While caressing your cheek, Sniper placed his lips on yours again. This time, you returned the embrace, he gave you. You felt, that his heartbeat was as fast as yours. Just before the last rocket blew up, Sniper stepped back. “We’ll talk about this later, after they all black out from the drinks.”

 

“Can’t we just do it now?” A cold breeze touched your skin, so you hugged yourself, to keep the warmth in.

 

“I’d love that, but I don’t want you to freeze to death.” The darkness returned to the sky, and your teammates began to stand up. “I’ll sleep in my room tonight. If you need, or if you had enough fun, you can find me there.”

 

“Won’t you celebrate with us?” You asked, as he started to walk to the door.

 

“I’m not the celebrating type.”

 

“Bushman!” Spy appeared next to Sniper. He took a glance at you, but you just looked away. You weren’t ready to talk with him. Their footsteps faded away, and you stood there alone. What could Spy want from Sniper? You already knew his true identity. What else had he been hiding?

 

“How was it?” Medic’s voice came from your right. After the silence, it was too sudden for you, and it made you jump a little. When you realized what the question was, you started to think. Maybe he saw what happened minutes ago under the colorful fire.

 

“How was what?” You tried to stay as calm, as it was possible. Pretending not to know what he was talking about, seemed to work.

 

“The talk. I told him to look for you. I thought it would be a great chance.” When you processed what he said, you took a deep breath. For your luck, he didn’t see anything.

 

“I was right about him.” You lied, hoping he won’t suspect anything. “Sniper only wants to be my friend.”

 

“Or he’s just not ready. This is a possibility too.”

 

“No, it’s not.” You had to come up with something fast. “Because…”

 

“Because?”

 

“Sniper likes someone else. That’s all.”

 

“Did he name the lucky one?”

 

“Why do you keep asking me about it? It hurts enough even without your stupid questions.” You didn’t want to be rude with him, but you always acted like that if something bothered you.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault.” You couldn’t keep the angry look. Medic’s face was so sad, that it made you feel bad for using that voice. To comfort him, you took your arms around his neck, and hugged him. “I should be sorry, for shouting at you.”

 

“I wanted to give you something.” He broke out from your embrace, then gave you a red shirt. A turtleneck. “I felt bad for making those marks on your neck, so I bought you this in the town.”

 

“Thank you. It’s really nice.” You pulled up the shirt, and finally took off the roll bandage from your neck. “Oxygen, my old friend.”

 

“It was that tight?”

 

“No, but it was funny to say this.”

 

“I’m glad your mood is better now.”

 

“I’m just trying to make things bearable.”

 

“Would you like some drinks? Demo will open one of his best whiskeys. And this time, he wants to share it.”

 

“That would be great.” You smiled at him, then the two of you started to walk into the base.

 

*****************

 

You wanted a good excuse to leave early, so you could go to Sniper as soon as it was possible. After you drank three glasses of the whiskey, your head was already dizzy. You didn’t want to get drunk, but Demo just gave you glass after glass. You tried to spill it out, when they didn’t see you, but you acted like you had more alcohol, then you could bear. The talking and the moving weren’t a problem, but you had to look like you were drunk. You thought about that kiss, what Sniper gave you outside, and it made your face blushed, and it was perfect for you.

 

When Spy came in, you knew it was the time for you. You stood up, then acted like you were sick. Some of the others wanted to help you to your room, and it was really hard to convince them, that you will be fine. After you left the common room behind, you headed to the sleeping quarters. Sniper’s door was open, so you could easily walk in. He was sitting on the bed, without his hat, vest and upper shirt, surrounded by candles. The view made you blush, as he stood up and walked to you.

 

“I thought you won’t even come.” He said, then hugged you tight.

 

“It was hard to get away from them. What did Spy want?”

 

“He asked about us. I told him, that you liked someone else, so he won’t want to talk about it anymore.”

 

“Medic wanted to know the same, but I told him exactly what you said to Spy.”

 

“I told you, we can work it out.” He chuckled, then softly kissed you. It was even better in the warm room, where you could feel everything that the cold kept away last time. As he brushed his fingers into your hair, something came into your mind.

 

“Wait a second!” You grabbed his wrists. “Why did Spy ask about us? He knows how you feel?”

 

“Kind of yes.” Sniper blushed, then sat back on the bed. He petted the blanket next to him, and you went there to sit down. “He found out almost two weeks ago. How do you think I was able to get us closer? The spook helped me with everything. Without him, I wouldn’t have the courage to tell you the truth.”

 

“If we want to be exact, you didn’t tell me anything.”

 

“It’s still hard for me to say it out loud. I want to, but I’m not brave enough.”

 

“I feel the same. Saying this is really challenging, so I won’t hurry you.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

You looked into his eyes. Sniper pushed his lips against yours again, and grabbed your hands. That moment was perfect, and you only felt happiness. You wanted to stay like this forever, but you knew that you had to end the kiss sooner or later. After some minutes, Sniper gently pushed you down to the pillows. He placed a hand on your hip, then started to caress you. His fingers went upper and upper on your body, but he didn’t pull up your shirt. You really wanted to be with him, but something didn’t let you do that. When you remembered the bruises on your neck, you broke out from his arms.

 

“I’m sorry.” He lay down next to you, then rubbed his eyes.

 

“Don’t be! It felt good. I’m just not in the mood for this now.” You didn’t want him to see the marks on you, and in your mind you hoped that they will fade away soon.

 

“Then what if we just lay here and talk about nothing?”

 

“That sounds great.” You smiled at Sniper, as he pulled you into a hug.

 

“Would you mind me stealing some kisses?”

 

“I would love that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guten morgen = Good morning  
> Bitte = Please


	10. Somebody that I used to know

When you woke up, you knew it was early in the morning. The sun barely shined outside the window and you felt a chilly breeze touching your skin. The air smelt like smoke, but only faintly. As you sat up in the bed, you realized that something was different. Sniper still lay next to with his arm around your waist. The night wasn’t just a dream. You watched his face while he was still sleeping. Your heartbeat was fast again, as you leaned down to softly kiss him. You decided to let him dream, then sneaked out from the room as quietly as you were able to. Once outside, you headed to the showers. After freshening yourself up, you went to your closet to dress up. When you pulled up your underwear, Medic entered the room.

 

“Oh, sorry.” He blushed, and looked away. “I didn’t know you were here.”

 

“Nothing happened. Why are you up so early?”

 

“I wanted to check if you were alright, but found your room empty.” As he looked at you again, his face was confused.

 

“I couldn’t sleep, and a hot shower seemed to be a good idea.”

 

“I was looking for you for almost an hour by now.”

 

“I like to take long showers if I have a chance. And after yesterday I really needed it.”

 

“I can imagine that.” It looked like he finally let go of this topic. You feared that if he asked more about it, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. “I wanted to ask you to come to my lab after I finished here. It’s time to get your monthly injection.”

 

“You’ll still give it to me? Even now that we won’t spend another night together?”

 

“I’m not the only man here. I didn’t give it to you, because of only myself. I can stop if you want to spend a week in pain every month.”

 

“I didn’t say that.”

 

“I know.” He smiled at you, while taking off his clothes. “Trust me, it will be good if things happen to change. We are separated from the world, so Sniper’s little crush may fade away after some time.”

 

Medic went to the showers, and you exited the room. Outside you ran into Sniper. Looking at his face pulled back the memories from last night, and they made you blush.

 

“Morning.” He said with the same expression as yours.

 

“Medic is already inside, so… Remember the story I told him!”

 

“Alright.” A weird silence fell between you two. It was almost a minute before he opened his mouth again. “Why did you sneak out? Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No. I just didn’t want anyone to see me coming out from your room.”

 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

 

“You promise, that you won’t laugh?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“You just… You looked so adorable in your sleep.” After your answer, he smiled, then kissed you.

 

“Sugar cube, I’m everything but adorable.”

 

“Sugar cube?” You chuckled. “Why this pet name?”

 

“You don’t like it?”

 

“That’s not the point. It’s just… It’s the first time someone called me anything like this.”

 

“Well, then get used to it! Because I think this one suits you.” He said. “We didn’t speak about how we should act in front of the others.”

 

“I don’t really know. I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”

 

“What if we make them think, that we’re still friends, but not as close as we used to be?”

 

“You would have acted like this?”

 

“I don’t think so, but I couldn’t bear not speaking with you every time they are around.”

 

“Oh…” You blushed again. Sniper seemed like he was having fun, as he kissed your forehead with a smile.

 

**********************

 

Almost a week passed, and everything seemed to be fine. No one found out that you had a secret relationship with Sniper, which meant that your act was perfect. It was hard though to keep it that way, especially because every time you looked at him, your heart started to beat faster.

 

Medic was the only one whose behavior changed towards you two. He always made up something to cheer you up even if you weren’t sad at all. For example, one day he wanted you to help with his doves, which meant that you had to pet them. Medic always said that he had too many birds and didn’t have enough time for them all, but he never asked you to do this before. They were like his children, who he wanted to protect from everyone. But this wasn’t the strangest thing he did during the week. Every time he and Sniper were alone together (which happened more than usual) Medic only talked about you. The marksman seemed to be annoyed about it, but he bore it as he could.

 

On the last day of the cease-fire, you and Sniper were lying outside of the base, on a blanket. He built a little campfire, so you wouldn’t freeze in the night. It was really romantic to watch the stars with him.

 

“Do you think he’ll ever stop being like this?” He chuckled while hugging you tight. “He takes most of the time, what I want to spend with you.”

 

“Are we really going to talk about Medic on the last night, that we can spend together? At least for a while.”

 

“Maybe you are right.”

 

“So, what else do you want to talk about?”

 

“What if we skip the talk now?”

 

Sniper leaned above you. He brushed his fingers through your hair, then kissed your lips. As always, it made you breathless, as he placed his other hand on your waist, and started to caress you softly. Suddenly he touched the bare skin under your shirt which made your heart beat faster than ever. Soon his palm reached your breast, and you felt, that he wanted more. He remained to be gentle with you, but you could read everything out from his body. You felt his pants tightening, as he let out a quiet moan. You wanted it too, but you just couldn’t stop thinking about the bruises that were still on your neck. After almost a whole week, they didn’t even fade a bit. When he tried to get his hand into your pants, you grabbed his wrist.

 

“I have to go.” You said, then Sniper sat down next to you. After standing up, you pulled your shirt to its place.

 

“What? Now?” He asked sadly.

 

“Yes. Tomorrow will be a workday, so I have to sleep enough.”

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

“I’m just tired. That’s all.”

 

“You can’t lie to me. I know when you do.”

 

“I just…” You knew that telling him the truth wouldn’t be good. You wanted to come up with something that he wouldn’t ask about. “I’m just having THOSE days.”

 

“Oh.” He blushed, then rubbed his nape. “So that was the real reason, why you stopped me on the first day, too?”

 

“Yes. I didn’t tell you, because it’s a bit weird to talk about it with a man.”

 

“It sure is.”

 

“Good night then!”

 

Only saying these words, you walked back to the base. Once inside, you leaned to the door, then slipped down to the ground. You only could think about the marks, and a possible reason, what would explain, why they didn’t fade away. Did Medic lie about what happened that night? No, he wouldn’t do something like that. At least you hoped. This time, it was way harder to stop Sniper’s moves. You wanted it so much, but you were afraid that if he saw those bruises, he would think that you slept with the doctor again. But his kiss and his touch made you tremble, and it started to be really frustrating.

 

“Damn it Medic!” You murmured while running your finger through your hair. Suddenly you heard a noise from your left, then turned in that direction. As your eye started working, you knew who was in the room with you. “You can come out. I’m not angry at you.” The voice of a cloak system’s turning off could be heard, and with this, Spy appeared sitting next to you.

 

“ _Vraiment_?”

 

“Yes. I’m just sad, because you didn’t tell me earlier.”

 

“I didn’t have the courage. I thought you would hate me.”

 

“Come here!” You took your left arm around his shoulders, then pulled him closer. Spy accepted your hug. “You really think I could hate my own brother?”

 

“To be exact, I’m not your real brother. Just adopted, so…”

 

“It doesn’t make any difference for me. We lived in the same house, and I always thought about you as a family member. Even if our parents never did. And finally I can get rid of the thought that you are in love with me.”

 

“Where is this coming from?” He chuckled quietly.

 

“Medic told me, that you don’t care about me only because we are friends. I’m sure, he wouldn’t think about you being my brother. And it’s not surprising, if we see the fact that I never even thought about it, too.”

 

“So, everything is alright between us?”

 

“Maybe more than alright.” You smiled, and knew that he probably did the same.

 

“Where have you been?” He asked suddenly, and you only realized now that he surely saw you getting in here.

 

“I just couldn’t sleep, and a walk does miracles. You can ask Scout. He helped me figuring this fact out.” You stood up, then walked to the door of the sleeping quarters. “I have to go now, and you should do the same. Tomorrow will be the first work day.”

 

“About that.” He got up, too. “I fear Sniper won’t help you again, now that you had that conversation.”

 

“You don’t have to. We remained to be friends.”

 

“I know, but it’s hard to stay close with someone who rejected you. What if he returns to your original state, and starts to hate you again?”

 

“I can handle this. Trust me!”

 

“Can I at least look out for you? Just to be safe.”

 

“Yes. I think there is no problem with that.”

 

“Then good night, _reine_!” He smiled as you went through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vraiment? = Really?  
> reine = queen


	11. Somwhere only we know

“Everything alright?” Medic stood next to you before the first battle, after the holidays.

 

“Of course.” You said while twiddling you pistol. “Why do you ask?”

 

“Because you’re trying to put the clip in upside down.” You checked it and he was right. With an embarrassed blush on your face, you turned it. It finally fit. “So?”

 

“I’m just frustrated. Rough nights.”

 

“ _Ja_ , Spy told me. Do you need some sleeping pills? They would help you for sure.”

 

“I don’t need any medication.”

 

“ _Sicher_.” He knelt down in front of you, then made your neck free from the turtleneck to see the bruises. “I have to say, you have very sensitive skin. More than a week has passed, but nothing happened.”

 

“Can you do anything to make them fade?”

 

“ _Nein_. But why is it a problem? You can hide them, am I right?”

 

“Yes, but…” You couldn’t tell him that you’re only asking this because you don’t want Sniper to see them. “Don’t get me wrong! I like this shirt, but I don’t want to wear it all the time. I washed it yesterday, but it’s still wet. I didn’t have enough time to dry it.”

 

“I’ll see what I can do.”

 

****************

 

“Damn it!” You hid behind a corner. Your eye was bleeding after the enemy Medic shot you with his crossbow. It wasn’t too serious, but the device built into it was completely ruined. You didn’t see the BLU Spy today, and it made you both glad and worried. Whit this wound, you decided to stay here until the battle ends. You knew Scout was already close to lead us to another victory, so you didn’t have anything else to do.

 

“Little girl injured.” Heavy walked to you. As he sat down, you tried to hide your eye from him with your hand. “Why not call doctor?”

 

“It’s just a shame that I got this wound. Those arrows are so slow, but it hit me.”

 

“Just lucky shot.”

 

“And my unfortunate move.”

 

“Medic!” He said into his earphone. “We need help. No boxes around here. I run out of it. Da. We wait.”

 

“Thanks.” You were thankful. Heavy always did the right things, and always knew what’s the best for everyone.

 

“I stay with you. You need to be watched.”

 

“Can I ask something?” You wanted someone who can listen, and he was perfect for it. Heavy wasn’t the fastest mind in the team, so you could tell him your problems without fearing that he will figure everything out.

 

“Da.” He gave you a comforting smile.

 

“Have you ever loved someone? I mean have you ever wanted someone to be your girlfriend?”

 

“Of course. Long time ago, but yes. Why?”

 

“And how did you know it was love?”

 

“Can’t exactly tell. I always wanted to be with her, and she was perfect for me. Every time I looked at her my heart was beating fast. She was breathtaking. I just knew it.” As Heavy spoke, his eyes were dreamy. It was like he still had these feelings.

 

“What happened?”

 

“We stopped meeting. The last time I saw her was more than twenty years ago. But why you ask this?”

 

“I’m just curious.” As you said that one phrase, he looked into your eyes. It seemed like he didn’t believe you. “Okay, maybe this isn’t the only reason. I just… I want to figure out what’s going on in my head.”

 

“You love someone?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

 

“Tell me who it is! Maybe I can help.” He was excited, and it surprised you.

 

“Just someone from the town. You don’t know him.”

 

“The one you were with on Christmas?” Heavy’s question made you speechless. The thought that he maybe saw you was frightening. Thinking about why he was there, you suddenly remembered. Heavy always spent a day there until he waited for his flight. “He looked like he loved you very much.”

 

“Really?”

 

“ _Da_. You were sad and he ran after you. I saw he was desperate.”

 

“You know him?”

 

“No. I know no one from town.” This answer finally made you calm. He didn’t recognize Sniper.

 

“And you really think he loves me?”

 

“It seemed so.”

 

His words made you happy. You didn’t exactly know why, but they did. If it was true, then you had to figure out your own feelings as soon as possible. Everything happened so fast for you. You never felt anything like this before, and it was hard to tell if it really was love. You were confused, and you decided that you don’t want to mislead Sniper, so you will avoid this topic until you make up your mind.

 

******************

 

Three days passed, and you nearly saw Sniper after the battles. You wanted to be with him, but you just couldn’t make your confusion fade away. Every day was even harder, than the one before. The frustration ruined your work, and your nerves almost shouted for satisfaction. After today’s fight, the only thing you wanted was a hot shower, but as always, you had to wait for the others to go to their rooms. It was almost midnight when the last man left the dressing room, and you finally could go inside. You sat down to the bench in the middle of the room, then started to take off your boots. The door behind you suddenly opened, and someone came out from the showers. It was Sniper with only a towel around his hips.

 

“What are you doing here?” You asked with a blush. His naked chest only made you more frustrated. A strange feeling that you wanted to touch him appeared in your mind.

 

“Isn’t it obvious?” He pointed on the door behind him.

 

“But it’s really late.”

 

“I never liked taking a shower with the others.” He went to his closet, and opened it, but after that he just stood there. An awkward silence fell into the room, and lasted for several minutes. “Look! I’m not stupid. If you don’t want to be with me, then you can tell me. I’m a grown man, I can accept a rejection.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“First you said you can’t sleep with me, because you are bleeding. I could accept it, but it was more than a week. I’m not a woman, but I know, that this doesn’t last for this long. So you lied to me, or you have a serious illness, and you didn’t tell me. Then here you are avoiding me every day since we almost got too close. I can tell something is wrong. So?”

 

“It’s not what you think.” You stood up, then walked closer to him.

 

“Then what is it? Everything looks like you don’t like me anymore. Maybe it would be the best to stop this.”

 

“No! Please don’t say this.”

 

“Tell me one thing that would make me think otherwise!” Sniper didn’t even look at you. He stared into his locker while the whole conversation went down. The fear of losing him made you feel something strong. As every piece found its place in your mind, you exactly knew what you have to say. You suddenly hugged him from behind.

 

“I love you.” You whispered. It was just like he froze in that moment. Sniper turned around to face you, and you saw that he had a fade blush on his cheeks. “I really do, but I wasn’t sure until now. I never felt anything like this before, so it was hard for me to realize these feelings.”

 

“That’s the only reason?”

 

“No. I didn’t want you to see this, because it’s a bit equivocal.” You pulled the fabric from your neck, to show him the bruises. “On my last night alone I drank a bit, and Medic tried to help me. I maybe bit him when he tried to give me some medication, so he held me down. I was afraid you would think that I slept with him. And these marks are just disgusting.”

 

“Is this everything?” For your surprise he smiled, after you nodded. “We all had bruises like these at least once. The doctor needs to be strong sometimes. After all he only cares about us.”

 

“You had them too?”

 

“Here!” He held up his left hand, so you could see the purple marks on his wrist. “He only wanted to examine my caffeine level, but I didn’t let him take the needed blood.”

 

“You surely drink too much coffee.”

 

“The thing is… I can see the difference between these marks, and the ones he made while having you. And about the part, you said these are disgusting. Your body isn’t the main reason why I love you. I don’t care about anything like that. We are in a battle, and everyone have some scabs. But even with this, I just know that if you take your clothes down, you will be perfect for me.”

 

He gently caressed your cheek, and this touch made you feel, that you can’t hold back anymore. You suddenly took your arms around his neck, then pulled him into a heated kiss. His skin was still warm from the shower and somewhere a bit wet too. Your tongues were dancing with each other, and it made you feel like you were his prey.  His hands found their way under your shirt, then he pulled you closer.

 

“Wait!” You broke out from his embrace. “What if they will see us?”

 

“There are no cameras here.” Sniper ran his fingers through your hair. “I want you so much right now.”

 

“Do you have enough patience to let me take a shower first?”

 

“Why don’t we go together?” He gave you a naughty smile, then pulled your shirt up. You let him take it off from you. “As I said, you are perfect.” Sniper placed a hand on your side. When his palm touched your bare skin, it made a shiver go down on your spine. “So beautiful.” He leaned to your neck, then gently kissed it.

 

“But I’m flat as a board.”

 

“You don’t need to have big breasts to be beautiful.” He said between two kisses, breathing hot air on your skin. “Please let me have you!”

 

“You will, but I really need a shower.”

 

You gingerly pushed him away, then went to the other room. After taking your clothes off, you opened the hot water. As the drops hit your skin, they reminded you of the ones on Sniper’s skin. You fell into your thoughts, and took a deep breath when the sight of his chest came into your mind. He was so muscular, but you didn’t know why. You never saw him working out, and he always sat in one place in battles. You imagined how it would feel to touch him, and this thought made you want him more. While thinking about this you suddenly realized that you were caressing your own body. You almost could feel his palms on you, and his kisses as well. But after some time, it turned to be more real.

 

“I can help you with that.” You turned around to see Sniper whispering into your ear.

 

“When did you get in here?”

 

“A minute ago.” He run his fingers through your hair, then pulled you closer. You could feel his breath on your lips, but he didn’t kiss you. “I heard you calling my name, and I thought you needed my help. I think I was right.” His other hand softly caressed your back, then stopped on your butt. “Your skin is so smooth.” You suddenly felt the cold tiles, as he pushed you to the wall. When he started kissing your neck, you let out a quiet moan.

 

“Did you lock the door?” You asked, after his fingers found their way between your thighs. It was better than you imagined.

 

“I did.” You felt his erection growing, and you were a bit proud that you could make him this hard. “No one will disturb us.”

 

“I want you so much.”

 

“I want you too.” Sniper whispered, then he kissed you with passion.

 

Everything was just like a dream for you. You fantasized about it before, but in reality everything was better. He flooded you with small kisses everywhere, and caressed your skin. After some minutes the pleasure grew inside you, as Sniper found the most sensitive spot in you. It took your breath away, and you wanted to scream, but you knew that the others could hear anything. He wasn’t too gentle, neither too wild. He let you know exactly what he wanted, but gave you the opportunity to step back anytime you wanted. You took your arms around his neck, then deepened the kiss. His tongue was warm, and tasted like menthol, which surprised you a bit. You thought that you would only taste coffee. After all you only saw him drinking that liquid and nothing else.

 

After some minutes, Sniper suddenly lifted you up a bit, and you took your legs around his waist. He held you as close to himself as it was possible, then it finally happened. As you felt him inside you, a louder moan broke out from both of you. It has been so long since you wanted this and it worth the wait. At the beginning he moved slowly, but when he saw that it felt good for you, his thrusts turned to be faster. Everything disappeared from your mind, and you gave up against your feelings. You let Sniper take you away to somewhere that only you knew.

 

It didn’t last too long, until you started to feel something strong. As the first waves of pleasure hit you, all your muscles tensed. You knew that Sniper was really close too. He leaned his head to your chest, then his breathing suddenly stopped for a moment. With his last few thrusts an amazing orgasm came over you that you never had before. Almost the same time as you did, he finished too. For several minutes the two of you couldn’t do anything else, than hugging each other and panting. It felt like you did this for hours, but you knew that it only took less than fifteen minutes.

 

After a minute or two, Sniper put you down. He let you clean yourself, then helped you drying your hair with a towel. While doing so, he maybe couldn’t hold himself back, because he left several kisses on you. The frustration finally got away from your body, and you felt pure happiness.

 

“It’s almost midnight.” You chuckled after he kissed your shoulder again. “We can’t do it again today.”

 

“Tomorrow then?” Sniper hugged you from behind, then you turned your head to look into his eyes.

 

“I didn’t know you are this insatiable.”

 

“What can I say? I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world. It would be a shame if I didn’t want you all the time.”

 

“You really think I’m pretty?” After your question, he softly kissed you, then showed a warm smile.

 

“The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He pressed his forehead to yours, and took a deep breath. “And what will happen now?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Do you want me to sleep in my room tonight?” You exactly knew what that question meant. The only reason why he would stay in the base at night was you. That was the only place where you could sleep together. For some reason, he didn’t let you into his van since the night when you two started to talk with each other.

 

“It’s really tempting, but I don’t think it would be a good idea. Anyone could see us in the morning.”

 

“And if I beg you?” He chuckled.

 

“I would love to see that, but the answer is still no.”

 

“I will get up early, and they won’t suspect a thing. Please!”

 

“Why do you want it so much?” You turned around, and Sniper held you closer to him.

 

“Because I want to spend the whole night with you. You can’t leave me alone after what just happened.”

 

“You want me to sleep with you because I feel remorse?”

 

“No. I know that you are a mercenary, but you are also a woman. There is nothing to be ashamed of, if you want to spend the night with me.”

 

“You really think so?” As an answer, he kissed you. “I want to, but I fear the consequences.”

 

“I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

 

“If you insist this much.” You smiled, then Sniper lifted you up bridal style.

 

“I love you so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ja = Yes  
> Sicher = Sure  
> Nein = No  
> Da = Yes


	12. Scout

“Bloody hell!” You woke up to Sniper’s swearing. He sat next to you in the bed and was really afraid of something.

 

“What happened?”

 

“We overslept.”

 

“How much time we have?” You tried to be as calm as it was possible.

 

“We have two hours before the battle begins, but the others surely woke up already.”

 

“Then don’t worry! Just go out and tell me if I can come out!”

 

“Okay.” He went to the door, then opened it slowly. “They are in the shower. You can go.”

 

You stood next to him. After Sniper gave you a kiss, you ran to your own room. For your luck no one was in the hallway. Once inside you could finally get dressed and comb your hair. As you touched your neck while doing so, the memories of last night came back. Even though you only slept less than four hours, you felt reposeful. Your nerves finally calmed down and all frustration got away from your body. But as everything, this had a not so good effect on you too. You were starving. Breakfast seemed to be a really good idea, so you went out of your room and headed towards the common room. The smell of something sweet hit your nose when you opened the door in the end of the hallway. Almost everyone was at the table, and you decided to join them. There was a big plate in the middle of the table, full of chocolate muffins.

 

“What’s the occasion?” You turned you head towards Engie, while taking one of the cakes.

 

“Don’t know. Scout woke up really early, or didn’t even sleep or something like that. We found him here doing this.” He pointed towards the runner, who stood at the oven to take out another tray of muffins. “The kid made tons of these by that time.”

 

“Scout everything alright?” You asked him, then took another cake.

 

“I guess.” He answered, then sat next to you, bringing the fresh ones with him. “I couldn’t sleep well, but I’m not tired, so don’t worry.”

 

“If you say this, I will worry. You should know that.”

 

“But you don’t have to.”

 

“The girl’s right.” Said Demo. “You look shitty, and on top you don’t speak as much as you usually do.”

 

“So what? We should worry about you too? Because I don’t see any alcohol on the table.” Scout acted like someone insulted him, but nothing like this happened. His always-up mood was gone with his smile too. Something really bad happened with him, you were sure about it.

 

“I never drink before battles, but you are always talkative. So the only problem here is your silence.”

 

“Seriously, what’s wrong?” You placed a hand on his shoulder, but Scout shook it down. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“You should know.” He jumped up, then went to the door, but Spy and Sniper stood in his way. “Let me out!”

 

“Go back!” Spy looked down at him. “I have a report for the team.” Scout came back, but he didn’t come to the table. He sat on the cupboards instead.

 

“What’s so important?”

 

“Miss Pauling called to tell, there will be a cease-fire.”

 

“When?” Heavy asked.

 

“From today. Something happened to the respawn system, and it’s not working properly.”

 

“This doesn’t mean anything.” Soldier jumped up. “A little problem can’t stop the fight in America. Why should we do so?”

 

“BLU team noticed it, when their Medic didn’t respawn as himself. His arm was missing, and everyone who respawned after him, was missing some body parts. They aren’t capable of fighting.”

 

“And what will happen now?” Engie asked after Soldier finally sat down. “Shouldn’t I repair it?”

 

“ _Non_. This problem is something you can’t deal with. They are sending someone here and they will do it. The lady said, we have to go to another place until the repair is done.”

 

“Where?”

 

“There is a house up in the mountains. They built it for emergencies like this.”

 

“Was that everything you wanted?” Asked Scout with an edge in his voice.

 

“One more thing. Anyone died yesterday after noon?” No one replied. “Then go to your rooms and pack up for the journey!”

 

*********

 

After everyone had their packages, you all went out of the base. Spy led the team on the road, because you couldn’t go by car. There were no paths on the mountain, so you had to walk up there. Scout was still mad at you for some reason, and you decided to leave him with it for the first half of the road. But after some time, you couldn’t keep it, and you went to him.

 

“Care to tell me what did I do?”

 

“Why would I?” He asked rather sadly than angrily.

 

“Because I want to know. I don’t remember doing anything wrong to you, but here you are hating me all of a sudden.”

 

“Of course you don’t remember.”

 

“If you don’t tell me, I can’t make it right.”

 

“Okay, I’ll give you the chance!” He grabbed your wrist, then stopped until everyone got before you. “Tell me everything you did yesterday!”

 

“I got up, then ate breakfast. Then we went to the battlefield and I got injured. And after that I went to the showers after you all went to bed. Then I slept through the night.”

 

“And you failed.”

 

“Scout please, stop playing with me!”

 

“What did you do in the showers?” You froze by his question.

 

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” You lied, but deep inside you knew it’s useless.

 

“I saw you two. And I’m not so stupid, to believe that was only hooking up.”

 

“How did this happen?” You asked while running completely pale.

 

“I was in response for the security cameras yesterday.”

 

“There are cameras in the showers? But Sniper said…”

 

“You’ve been with us for three years now, but you didn’t know? They are everywhere.”

 

“And why are you angry? Is it because you…”

 

“I don’t love you if that’s the question. I’m not angry because you are with him. I would be really happy about it, if you didn’t happen to lie to me about it.”

 

“I had no other choice.” He rolled his eyes after your sentence, which made you realize why he’s acting like this.

 

“I thought we are as close as brother and sister. Why couldn’t you tell me the truth?”

 

“Scout, did you ever read our contract? Every little paragraph.”

 

“I run through it.” You slapped your forehead as he spoke.

 

“We’re not allowed to have relationships with each other. That’s why it’s kept as a secret. We can lose our jobs if it ever reveals.”

 

“Oh.” He rubbed his nape, then looked at you with sorry in his eyes. “For your luck I deleted the record. Next time be a bit more careful!” He placed a hand on your shoulder.

 

“We thought there were no cameras.”

 

“I’m not talking just about that. Didn’t you think about using a condom?”

 

“We don’t need it.”

 

“Why? You want to get pregnant from him, or what?”

 

“You really think Medic likes those rubber things?”

 

“Why you bring up him? Aren’t you with Snipes right now?”

 

“Didn’t you know I used to sleep with the doctor?” You rolled your eyes, when he started thinking about it. This fact was known by everyone. Except him, as it seemed like now.

 

“Now that you say it… You were really close until Sniper came.”

 

“I get injections monthly, so I don’t have to fear about a pregnancy.”

 

“But I don’t think he knows about it.” He pointed towards Sniper with his head. The taller man waited for you to reach him.

 

“What’s up?” He asked, then walked with you. For some reason he was on Scout’s other side.

 

“I feel like a third wheel now.” The runner whined.

 

“He saw us yesterday.” You summarized to Sniper, whose face run pale from the information. “It seems like there ARE cameras in the showers.”

 

“I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry! And I deleted the record.”

 

“Thanks, kid.” Sniper said with a sigh.

 

“But if you keep calling me like this, I maybe won’t remember this promise.” Scout chuckled.

 

“Don’t tease me, you little ankle-biter!”

 

“That’s better. After all, your girlfriend is smaller than me. Can’t imagine how you call her.”

 

“What was that pet name I told you on the first day?” Sniper smiled at you.

 

“Sugar cube.” You answered with a blush.

 

“That’s not fair.” Scout whined again. “She has a better one.”

 

“When you’ll be my girlfriend, I’ll call you the same.” Sniper laughed uncontrollably. Some of the others turned around to see what was going on.

 

“First time I hear him laughing.” Said Engie.

 

“I didn’t even think he’s capable of doing so.” Spy stopped, then looked at the wooden building in front of him. “I think that’s it. Every room has a label with the owner’s codename, so I don’t think anyone will be lost.”

 

“How long we’ll be staying here?” You asked while watching the house.

 

“Until next week, I believe. And everyone needs to be careful. This building doesn’t have a security as high as the base. Lock your doors every night! If some of your belongings will be stolen, we can’t look for who took it. _Allons-y_!” Everyone started to get inside, and you wanted to do the same, but Scout grabbed your wrist, and made you stop. He did the same with Sniper.

 

“Can I have some questions?” He asked after everyone went into the house.

 

“If you want.” Sniper shrugged.

 

“When did this start?”

 

“You hate being called as ‘kid’, but you ask questions like this?”

 

“It’s just curiosity.”

 

“Childish curiosity.”

 

“Just answer the question!” Scout rolled his eyes.

 

“New year’s eve. But you saw us kissing, didn’t you?”

 

“I thought you were only talking.” As he answered, Sniper laughed again. “Okay, I refuse to talk to you! Shadow?”

 

“Yes?” You turned to the runner.

 

“Have you said that thing already?” He really was like a kid, you had to admit.

 

“Yes, we have. Yesterday to be exact.”

 

“Which thing?” Sniper leaned closer to you with a cunning smile.

 

“That I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” He took off his hat, then held it up to hide the kiss he gave you.

 

“For the…” Scout knocked the hat out of Sniper’s hand. “I’m an adult. I can see things like a kiss. Just remember that I saw you two in a worse situation.”

 

“Yes, I know. But it’s only our business, not yours.”

 

“Ay!” A voice came from the door, and when you looked there you saw Demo waving. “Pack out already! We want to go to the lake.”

 

“There is a lake here?” Scout asked excitedly.

 

“Spy found it on the map. It’s allowed to swim in that, so we took the opportunity.”

 

“Sounds good.” You smiled, and started to walk to the door. “Then come on, guys!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non = No  
> Allons-y = Let's go


	13. Spy

The sun burnt you skin as you were sitting by the lake on a blanket. Everyone enjoyed the chilly water, but you didn’t have the courage to go in. Pyro was the only one except you, who stayed out of the fun. He was right beside you in his full uniform.

 

“Why don’t you go in?” You looked at him. For your surprise he pulled up his mask just enough to reveal his mouth.

 

“Hydrophobia.” That was the only thing he said before covering his face again.

 

“He’s afraid of water.” Medic explained. He came out to take his glasses off. “And what is your excuse? The water is so perfect for this weather.”

 

“I just don’t want to show my body.” You shrugged.

 

“Because of the bruises?”

 

“No. I’m sort of comfortable with them by now.”

 

“Then you have nothing to fear about. Your body is perfect, believe me! Even Heavy dared to come, though he has the most scabs.”

 

“You only say this because you laid me.”

 

“Do you want me to force you?” He said with a sly smile.

 

“What do you mean?” After saying this, you instantly regretted those words. Medic came closer, and you knew what’s going to happen next. “Don’t you dare!”

 

“ _Zu spät_!” He pulled you up, then embraced your hips. The next moment you were on his shoulder, and he walked towards the water. “Can someone give me a hand?”

 

“With pleasure!” You heard Snipers vice, then suddenly he was in front of you. “Wearing any swimsuit?”

 

“Yes, but don’t you dare!” You said. It was useless though, because he already pulled off your shirt. Medic put you down and Sniper grabbed your arms while he took off your pants too. “You two are perverts…”

 

“We just want you to have some fun too.” The doctor grabbed your legs, then they threw you into the lake. When you came back to the surface, everyone was laughing. “That was really graceful.” He chuckled while walking in.

 

“You’ll regret this!” You said with an evil grin, then pushed him under water for some seconds.

 

“Why only me?” He whined after you released him. “Sniper helped too!”

 

“I did nothing!” The other man protested, but it was late. You walked out of the water. “I’m innocent!” He started running between the trees, and you followed him. You went out of sight from the lake, but Sniper just disappeared. After some moments someone hugged you from behind, and you knew it was him. “I can be invisible in a forest even without a cloak system.”

 

“You deserve a punishment too.”

 

“Even if I do this?” Sniper turned you to face him, then gave you a passionate kiss.

 

“I will take care about this later. But now you will get something for helping Medic.” You grabbed his wrist, and started to pull him back to the lake. Everyone had fun, when you appeared from the forest.

 

“Give him what he deserves!” Scout laughed while you pulled Sniper up on a bigger rock.

 

“Don’t motivate her!” The marksman said, then you suddenly pushed him into the water. “You little hellion!” Sniper chuckled once he was on the surface.

 

“I warned you.” You shrugged with a smile. “Now make place for me!” He swam further, then you jumped into the water as gracefully as you could.

 

“Ten out of ten!” Medic clapped after you came up again. “Perfect landing.”

 

“Hey!” Scout shouted. “Let’s play cock-fight! Two versus two.”

 

“I’m in!” You waved. Suddenly Sniper dived under the water, then took you on his shoulders.

 

“Same.” He said while Soldier took up Demo.

 

“We know no mercy!” The American shouted. “Give them hell!”

 

“Come at me, little girl!” Demo chuckled. Sniper stepped closer to them, and Scout held up his hand.

 

“I hope you’re ready!” He said, then punched the water. “Fight!” He barely yelled this word, Demo was already in the water. “The hell, man? You said you didn’t drink.”

 

“For breakfast. But we came all the way here, and we spent some time in the house.”

 

“Who’s next?” You asked with a smile. Engie took up Spy, and they came to you. “You’re kidding me, right?”

 

“You won’t have an easy job with me!” Spy grinned, then turned on his cloak.

 

“Oh, please!” Your device started to work, and when Scout punched the water again, you could see Spy’s contours. He still wore his mask, and it gave you a perfect opportunity. You grabbed the fabric, then pulled it upper to hide his eyes. After this the only thing you had to do is push the distracted man. Spy fell into the water, and when he came up, he looked a bit upset.

 

“That’s not fair.”

 

“It was your fault. Firstly you wear that mask. Secondly you should know that cloak doesn’t work against me.”

 

“Scout! Come here!” The runner walked towards the taller man, who took him on his shoulders. “Let’s see what you can do against a faster enemy!”

 

“This will be easy.” Scout smiled, then this time Soldier gave you the start.

 

You tried to push the runner, but he leaned away. You expected this to be a bit harder, so it didn’t break you down. Scout grabbed your wrists and tried to push you backwards. For your luck Sniper caught your legs strongly and took a step back. Spy didn’t walk towards you, so you easily pulled Scout with yourself. After that you only had to push him down, so he fell into the lake.

 

“Why didn’t you move, frog?” Scout asked angrily. “We could win if you followed me.”

 

“Don’t blame me because of this lose!” Spy snapped at him.

 

“Maybe you will win next time.” You watched them with a smile.

 

“Don’t conceit yourself!” Scout turned to you. “You’re maybe a good pair, but we have a secret weapon.”

 

“We do?” Soldier asked surprised.

 

“Doc?”

 

“ _Gerne_.” Medic grinned, then climbed up to Heavy’s shoulders.

 

“Let’s do this!” The larger man looked up to his partner, then they came to us.

 

“This will be epic!” Scout chuckled, while snapping the water.

 

“Can’t you give me a challenge?” You rolled your eyes, then reached out to Medic’s ribs. You exactly knew he was ticklish under them, but no one seemed to remember how close the two of you were. He fell in the moment, when you touched his skin.

 

“I forgot I told you about this.” The doctor said after getting out of the water.

 

“This and your neck. Please boys, I’m drying out.”

 

“Okay, I’ve got an idea!” Scout stood in front of you. “You two are the perfect pair, but what if we split you?”

 

“If you insist.” Sniper dived again to take you down. “But I don’t see the point here.”

 

“You against her.”

 

“With who?”

 

“I’ll take you.” Medic volunteered.

 

“And I’m with Shadow.” Spy said, then took you up. In the same time Sniper climbed to the doctor’s shoulders.

 

“Now this…” Scout rubbed his palms. “This will be good. Let’s do it!”

 

He snapped the water. Medic took Sniper closer to you, and you grabbed the taller man’s wrists. You tried to push him, but he was stronger than you. When he tried it too, Spy took a step backwards, hoping you can outplay him as you did with Scout. It was useless, because Medic learned from this move too, and came closer. After this, you tried to push him by the shoulders, but this wasn’t effective either. You looked into his eyes, and saw him winking at you. The next moment he grabbed your head, then pulled you into a kiss. You lost your balance in the surprise, and fell into the water by yourself. He didn’t even need to push you.

 

Under the water, you didn’t want to come up again for some moments. What the hell was he thinking? After some time you ran out of air, so you needed to come to the surface. Everyone was looking at you with worried eyes. Drove by fear you ran out of the water, then went back to the house. Once inside, you leaned to the wall, then slid down to the ground. Some minutes has passed until someone came after you, and for your unluckiness it was Sniper. You stood up, and started to walk to the sleeping quarters, but he grabbed your wrist.

 

“Are you completely insane?” You turned to him furiously.

 

“It was planned.” He said while pulling you into a hug. “They all think, I was playing with your feelings. Scout’s idea.”

 

“And why couldn’t you tell me?”

 

“Because it had to look like it was real. And it was a success. Everyone snapped at me after you ran away.”

 

“And did it worth for you?” You almost melted in his arms. Sniper did it again. He was able to take you from your feet with another stupid plan.

 

“The answer can be a yes, if I’m allowed to kiss you now.” While looking deep into your eyes, he ran his fingers through your hair. His lips almost touched yours as he came closer.

 

“So, you want to bear their swearing, in hope you can be with me anytime?”

 

“I would do anything to be with you.”

 

“Then I think you deserve something in exchange.”

 

He let out a small chuckle before leaning in for a kiss. His lips were still wet, but his mouth was warm. Every little part of him turned you on, and when he noticed it, he deepened the kiss. The feeling as his skin touched yours was incredible. He pulled away the top of your bikini, then started massaging your breasts. As you felt him hardening, you let out a quiet moan. With his other hand Sniper caressed your body lower and lower, until he reached the bottom of your bikini. When his fingers finally found their way, some strange feeling came over you. The device in your eye was on for some reason, and suddenly you heard a familiar sound.

 

“I knew something was off with you.” As Spy appeared next to you, Sniper jumped away, while you took your bikini back to its place. “Did you forget about the fact, that I was the only one who knew about the other side’s feelings?”

 

“Kind of.” Sniper rubbed his nape with a blush. “Why did you come here?”

 

“Wanted to see with my own eyes, if my theory was true. You promised you will tell me everything. That was the deal.”

 

“The deal?” You asked confusedly.

 

“Sniper promised he will tell me everything, if I’ll help him out. I asked for only one thing in exchange.”

 

“I know, mate, and I’m really sorry.” You could tell Sniper was honest, and full of remorse. “We thought that no one should know about this, so it’ll be a bit easier for us. But it looks like we can’t keep it as a secret.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Scout knows already.”

 

“Somehow I knew. He’s not the best in acting. And can I ask, how you thought this will go? You can’t hide something like this forever. You are lucky the doctor told everything he thinks he knows to the others, so I was the only one who figured it out.”

 

“We can work it out.” You tried to convince him, but even you hardly believed you can hide everything for eternity. “Avoiding every situation when someone can see us, not talking to each other when the team’s around, and things like these.”

 

“This won’t work forever. And what are you afraid of? Do you really think anyone would report this?” Spy’s question was a good one. After all the whole team liked you somehow.

 

“No, but accidents can happen. What if someone makes a hint or something like that?” You saw him thinking hard, maybe balancing everything he heard and saw.

 

“You two are just the worst actors in the world, so I think you will need my help from now on.”

 

“Thank you!” You hugged him tightly, and for your surprise he returned your embrace.

 

“I would do anything to help you, _reine_!” He let go of you, then went to the door. “I believe you had something in mind before I arrived. I will make them sure, you are arguing about the happenings in the lake.”

 

“Thanks. And sorry.” Sniper said while taking your hand. Spy only answered with a nod before leaving the house. “You still want it?” He pulled you into an embrace.

 

“It would be a shame to pass the opportunity he gave us.” You answered with a naughty smile, then pressed your lips against Sniper’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zu spät = Too late  
> Gerne = With pleasure  
> reine = queen


	14. Only him

“Where are we going?” You asked as Sniper led you through the forest.

 

“I’m just making sure Spy didn’t lie for nothing.”

 

“What do you mean? Last time you said this, we ended up in a bed.”

 

“This time will be different.” He stopped on the top of a little hill, then placed a blanket on the ground. It would have been the start of something romantic, but the rifle on his back made the situation a bit strange. After the happening of yesterday and thanks to Spy, it was really easy for the two of you to come here alone. Everyone thought you were a bit depressed, so you didn’t have to fear about them looking for you. You simply climbed out through your window, then met Sniper outside. It was maybe too easy to be true. “Have you ever held a sniper rifle in your hands?”

 

“No. Only my pistols.”

 

“Then I think it’s time to do so.”

 

As he gave you the rifle, you couldn’t see the part when everything starts to be romantic. Sniper asked you to go on a date, but nothing seemed to be like anything people usually do on dates. You looked at him with confusion, but all he did was smiling. He surely had fun while watching you standing there. After some moments he decided to make you understand his point. Sniper stood behind you, then embraced you with both of his arms to show you, how to hold the rifle. It wasn’t more romantic, but his warmth and scent made your heart beat faster. Concentrating on what he said was almost impossible with his breathing on your neck.

 

“You listening?” His question shook you out from your thoughts.

 

“I just got lost a bit.” You said with a blush.

 

“I won’t tell everything again. You won’t shoot with it anyway.”

 

“I’m sorry. But this closeness is just…”

 

“I know. I can’t bear it either, but we came here to have an evening out, and that’s exactly what we will do now. Maybe if night falls, we can do something else too. But now it’s time to just be together.” He gave a kiss on your neck, and it made a shiver go down on your spine. “If you pay attention now, I will spend the whole night with you.”

 

“Deal! What should I do?”

 

“Look through this!” He pointed on a scope, and you did what he said. Then almost dropped the rifle as you saw a figure getting closer to you. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I think someone’s coming.” You dropped yourself on the ground, leaving Sniper with the rifle in his hands.

 

“Who?”

 

“I don’t know. Just hide!” He kneeled down next to you, then looked for any sounds nearby.

 

“You sure they headed this way?”

 

“Yes. I only saw a pair of boots, but I’m sure they’re coming here.”

 

In the next second, you heard a small branch breaking. Sniper grabbed your hand, and led you into a large bush nearby. You looked through the leaves and suddenly a pair of legs came into your view. The figure leaned down, then grabbed the blanket you left there. It was Medic. Although it was almost dark, you could tell he was the one standing in front of you. Sniper tightened his grasp on your hand as the doctor walked around looking for you. He stepped closer to the bush you were hiding in. Fear took control over you when you saw his legs too near. You didn’t even dare to breathe, then you closed your eyes until hearing him going away. Sniper pulled you up when the doctor went far enough, then ran with you in the opposite direction. You ended up at the lake, where you could finally breathe out the used air from your lungs.

 

“That was too close.” Sniper sighed with relief.

 

“We should go back to the house. I don’t want him to see us.”

 

“He already was here. There are several footprints on the ground. I don’t think he will come back.”

 

“But what if he will?”

 

“Then we can hide with your cloak. It’s already dark, so it will work.”

 

“What are you planning?” You asked when he pulled off his shirt.

 

“What about some swimming in the night? It surely would be romantic.”

 

“But we don’t have swimsuits.”

 

“Is that a problem?” He took off his pants, along with his underpants. Seeing him like this again, made you blush. Why he had to look so good without clothes?

 

Sniper slowly walked into the probably chilly water, but for some minutes you couldn’t do anything than watching him. After his hips were under the water, he turned around with an encouraging smile. The view made your heart skip a beat. Though with a small fear, you finally took off your clothes, then went after him. The water really was a bit cold, but the warm air made it bearable. Sniper reached out for your hand, and pulled you closer. The kiss he gave you was soft and heated in the same time. Just when you touched his chest, he stepped further into the lake, then dived under the water.

 

Driven by an unknown feeling, you followed him. Sniper grabbed your hand, and started swimming with you. Though the night didn’t begin well, you thought this was really relaxing to be with him right now, right here. After some time you ran out of oxygen, and both of you came up to the surface. You wiped off the water from your face, then looked at Sniper. The view was breathtaking as he stood in front of you, lighted by the moon’s silver shine. He stepped closer to you with a loving smile and took your head between his hands. This time the kiss only brought pure emotions into your mind. Though you both were totally naked, nothing sexual was in this interaction. It felt like you two were one. When he broke the kiss, your heart beat as fast as if you just ran a thousand miles.

 

“I love you.” And his words only made it ‘worse’. Can someone die by love?

 

“I love you too, Sniper.”

 

“That’s not right. If you know my real name, please, use it. I don’t want to be Sniper to you. If I knew yours, I would only call you like that. When we are together, we are lovers, not colleagues.”

 

“I love you, Mick.” Happiness appeared in his eyes, with a shade of disappointment. You knew he wanted to know your name, but you just couldn’t dare telling him. It brought up too many bad memories every time you heard someone calling you like that. Mostly only Spy did so, but it was just enough for you.

 

“Come on! Let’s go back.”

 

“Why? I like it here.”

 

“But you are already shaking, and I don’t want you to get a cold.” It was a bit embarrassing. You had two options right there. Telling him you were only shaking because he made you tremble with his touch, or just give up and go with him.

 

“You’re maybe right.” You chose the second option.

 

After getting out of the water, you wanted to dry yourself, but you had nothing for this purpose. The house wasn’t far away, so you decided to just pull on your clothes, thinking that maybe they will last for this small journey. Sniper did the same, then the two of you started walking hand in hand. The air was warm before you little skinny dipping, but now you were really freezing in your wet clothes.

 

“Need a hug?” Sniper asked on halfway. “Just to warm you up.”

 

“I’m alright. We are almost there, so I won’t freeze to death.” He let out a small chuckle when you brought up his words from two weeks ago. As you were thinking about that day, something came into your mind. “You’re not wearing my gift.”

 

“I thought it would be safer. Do you want me to wear it?”

 

“They think we are friends, so I don’t think it would be strange if you wore something you got from me. When we get back, I would really like to see it on you.”

 

“You don’t have to wait.” He pulled out the necklace from a pocket in his chest. “I didn’t wear it, but it was always above my heart.”

 

“Are you only saying this to get me out of my pants?” You chuckled while he put on your gift.

 

“I did that already today. I’m saying this because it’s the truth.” In the mean time you reached the door. You decided he seduced you too many times that day, and the turn was on you now. You threw your arms around his neck, then pulled him down into a kiss.

 

“You are just unbelievable.”

 

“You just have to accept I’m real. Or else how could I do this?” He opened the door, and pulled you inside the house. Everything was dark, but this didn’t make his kiss a surprise to you. This outcome was obvious from him, but you didn’t mind it. The freezing from before went away in the moment your lips touched again. Sniper only broke your kiss when a figure appeared outside the window. “Medic’s back. Go to your room now!”

 

“And what about you? You promised me to come.”

 

“I will follow in some minutes. Just cloak and go!”

 

His mood changed, and it made you want to stay. You did as he told you to, but stopped on the top of the stairs. Sniper stood in the middle of the common room, and was obviously waiting for the doctor. Something just wasn’t right as Medic entered the house. You couldn’t see clearly, but you were sure he was smiling.

 

“So, the answer?” The doctor asked with a tone you only heard once. When he tried to talk you into his bed.

 

“I won’t answer your stupid question.” Sniper’s voice had a shade of anger.

 

“Then you failed, I believe. I expected this.”

 

“There was no contest I could fail in.”

 

“But you were so sure yesterday that you could lay her anytime you wanted to.” You could recognize his ‘I won’ grin, even if the only light source was the moon outside.

 

“Look! I wasn’t serious. I just had enough of your pep talk. I won’t lay her because of a stupid dare you made. I’m not and never was in anything like this.”

 

“But playing with her feelings is a thing you are in, right?”

 

“What are you talking about? I thought we’ve been through this yesterday.”

 

“You are wearing the necklace she gave you.”

 

“So? It was a gift, and I don’t think there would be anything wrong with wearing it. And how do you even know she gave this to me?”

 

“Because I was the one who helped her with it.” The air was almost sparkling between them, as Medic said these words. They were angry at each other, but you didn’t know why. After a short silence, Medic stepped a bit closer to Sniper. “How does it feel like?”

 

“What feels like what?” Sniper was really confused, and so you were.

 

“To betray someone who trusted you.”

 

“You have to stop this. You can’t blame me for her feelings forever. You didn’t make a move sooner, and that was the point when you messed it up.”

 

“I never even thought you will be the one taking her away from me.”

 

“You have some problems, that’s for sure. No one took her away from you.”

 

“What do you mean I have problems?” Medic’s voice started to be attacking.

 

“One time you want to convince me to be with her, then suddenly you’re talking about this. I hate your mood swings.”

 

“Yes, I wanted you to be together. But if you just can’t be convinced, what else should I do? You are the one acting like showing some interest towards her, but saying you will never be with her. Now who has problems?”

 

“Still you.” For Sniper’s answer, the doctor chuckled.

 

“Please do me a favor and finally tell her, nothing will happen between you two. Do anything just don’t play with her head. She will forget about you in a short time, I’m sure.”

 

“Why are you so sure?” Sniper’s voice changed too as he walked towards Medic. You were afraid what will happen next, but you couldn’t step in.

 

“Because there is only one similarity in us. We are both too old for her. She only has a complex towards older men.”

 

“I’m only thirty-three.”

 

“And how old do you think she is?”

 

“I don’t care about that. You may think this is the only thing she likes me for, but that’s not true. If you really believe it, then you know nothing about her.”

 

“Don’t you dare saying this again!” Medic stepped so close to Sniper, their noses almost touched. You saw him grabbing Sniper’s wrist aggressively.

 

“You know nothing about her.”

 

In the next moment he was lying on the ground after Medic punched him hard. When Sniper got up and held up his hand to return the strike, you wanted to go down there and step in, but something didn’t let you do so. Large hands grabbed your wrist, then pulled you to your room. Turning around, you faced Heavy. Your cloak system was still on, so you had no idea how he knew you were there.

 

“Don’t go there.” He said, but you felt he was as tense as you. “Doctor will know what’s going on if you do so.”

 

“What are you talking about?” You whispered while he opened your door, then led you inside.

 

“I’m maybe not so smart, but I understood everything you said a week ago. I knew Sniper was the man before the restaurant.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew it?”

 

“You want to keep it a secret. If I tell you I know, it won’t be a secret anymore.”

 

“And why are you telling me now?”

 

“Because I want you to know that no one will report you for this. We are all friends. And Medic only will stop when he get to know that you are together. I don’t want to force you to tell everyone, but if you don’t do so, they will hurt each other more.”

 

“Heavy…”

 

“I just wanted you to know this. This isn’t the first time they are doing this. I know you are afraid, but what is better. Letting everyone to know about you two or watching them hurting each other? Just think about it please!”

 

After finishing his speech, he left your room. You collapsed on the bed and could do nothing but staring on the door. This was the first time you heard him saying something as wise as this. You suddenly felt bad for not talking with him more in these years. Heavy’s words made you think hard about the whole situation, and you realized he was right. You only had friends in your teammates, and there was no doubt in that they would never report your relationship with Sniper, not even accidentally. They surely would pay more attention on what they say, but they wouldn’t hurt you with telling anyone about this. After some minutes you made up your mind about what to do now. And when Sniper joined you in the room, you had the chance to deal with this problem first.

 

“I don’t want to palter, so…” You started as he sat down next to you, then laid down. “What is that question Medic asked you yesterday?” He instantly jumped up with fear in his eyes, but didn’t say a word. “I heard everything. Spit it out!”

 

“The shape of your tattoo.”

 

“And what’s the answer?” This was the only way you could tell if he really wasn’t into the challenge Medic made up.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t even know where it is.”

 

“You honest?”

 

“Of course! I can’t lie to you.”

 

“That’s your luck.” With a relived sigh, you hugged him. “And do you want to know? If he asks again.”

 

“No. I don’t want to play his childish game.”

 

“Then do you want to know for just knowing it?” He nodded, then you pulled up your shirt to show him the little dolphin on your hip.

 

“It’s cute. But why a dolphin?”

 

“It was my favorite animal in that time. It changed for now though, but I still like this tattoo.”

 

“If it worth anything, I think this is my favorite animal now.” His compliment made you chuckle. You softly kissed him, then you two laid down on the blanket. He caressed your arm as every time when you were next to each other, but something was off. His lips tasted like metal.

 

“Why did you irritate him this much? Doesn’t it hurt?”

 

“Just a bit. I can bear it.”

 

“Up for some cuddle tonight?” You kissed all his wounds and bruises one by one. There weren’t too much of them, but you were sure they really hurt him.

 

“As always.” He said, then stood up to take off his clothes.

 

“And by the way.” You started after you two were under the warm blanket. “I’m thirty-one, so you don’t have to fear about what he said. I’m not into you only because of your age.”

 

“I never even thought about him being right.” He hugged you from behind, then gave a kiss on your shoulder.


	15. Jealousy

You stretched your back, after sitting up in the bed. Sniper was still beside you with one arm around your waist. He had some bruises left from yesterday’s fight with the doctor. Driven by an unknown feeling, you leaned in to kiss every mark on his face. Sniper opened his eyes, when your lips touched his’s. He only showed a smile before sitting up, and you took it as a good sign.

 

“What did I do to deserve a waking up as sweet as this?” He got out of bed, then started looking for his clothes.

 

“The other one is under the bed.” You said, when he took up one of his socks. “We have to talk about something.”

 

“I don’t have a good presentiment.” Sniper sat down on the bed, then took a deep breath. “You don’t want to break up because of the things you heard yesterday, do you?”

 

“You said nothing wrong, that’s not the thing.” To calm him down, you hugged him tight. “I just thought about telling them the truth.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“Maybe then Medic won’t treat you like he did yesterday.”

 

“So, you want to endanger our jobs, because you don’t want me to get hurt?” While asking this, he raised an eyebrow.

 

“Our jobs are totally safe, believe me! They are our friends and I don’t think they will report us. I just don’t want to hide everything from them.”

 

“But you hide your name from me…”

 

“You didn’t just say that, did you?” You broke the embrace, then sat further from him.

 

“I’m sorry, but… Medic said something yesterday. It just bothers me so much, that I’m your boyfriend and you never told it to me, but he knows it even though he’s only a friend of yours. Somehow it hurts so much, and it just makes me… It makes me…”

 

“Jealous?” When he nodded, you suddenly felt sorry for him. You exactly knew why the doctor said this. “You don’t have to be. He knows nothing. I never told him.”

 

“Then why did he say so?”

 

“Because he wanted you to feel like this. He wanted you to be jealous so you will argue with me.”

 

“I’m such an idiot.” Sniper buried his face into his palms. “I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me for this?”

 

“Do you think I should?”

 

“I don’t know. I want you to do so, but I really was stupid. Can we just forget about what I said?”

 

“Of course. On two conditions.”

 

“I’ll do anything.”

 

“One: next time ask me first if he says anything again!”

 

“And the other one?”

 

“Think about what I said! You don’t have to decide it today, but just think it through.”

 

“I promise I will. Anything else?” As an answer for the question, you pulled Sniper above yourself to kiss him passionately. He ran his fingers through your hair, then let out a small chuckle. “You really make me want to stay here more.”

 

“Because I want you to stay.”

 

“I can’t, but I promise I will come back.”

 

“I understand.”

 

After Sniper left the room, you pulled up your knees and hugged your legs. Everything would be way easier if you didn’t have to hide it from the others. You could spend your free days together, but this secret took it away from you. You really wanted to speak about it with someone, and there was only one person for this. After dressing up, you went outside the house. Your theory was right, Scout was still there warming up.

 

“What’s up?” He asked when you stood next to him.

 

“I just need some fresh air. Maybe some running with you.”

 

“But it’s not even Saturday.”

 

“You are the only one I can talk to about my problems. You give me the sanity I always need.”

 

“You bring the words, I have reality.” Scout smiled at you, then you both started running. “So, what seems to be the problem?”

 

“I just realized that Heavy knows about us too.”

 

“How?”

 

“Yesterday Medic and Sniper had a fight, and he was the one who pulled me back before stepping in. He talked to me about this secret and said something wiser than anyone ever did.”

 

“Wow. And what was it?”

 

“That I don’t have to fear about the others. And I realized he was right. We are all friends here and I know they won’t report this. I want to tell them everything.”

 

“What’s pulling you back?”

 

“Sniper. He’s not ready for this, but he said he will think about it. Still afraid of the consequences.”

 

“You surprised? He barely spoke with us through these years. He doesn’t have that good relationship with everyone as you do.”

 

“I know, but I don’t think anyone would report him. You like him, don’t you?”

 

“Yes… He is the only one who doesn’t send me away right at the moment, when I start to speak. Except you of course. I know he doesn’t pay attention, but he always listens and that’s enough for me.”

 

“Same here. I mean with him. Sniper’s just a good listener and this is what caught me first. Then came his personality and every other thing.”

 

“All I can say now is that I know it’s hard for him to reveal everything, but time will help. He just needs to talk with some of us. Maybe with someone he doesn’t know who knows about you two.”

 

“I know someone like this. But why do you think it would help?”

 

“Because if he knew that he can count on us, then he probably will be more comfortable with it.”

 

“How can you be so sober? Every time I have a problem I can’t think straight. But you… You beat everything as a professional.”

 

“Got used to it, I think.” Suddenly he stopped, and you followed him.

 

“What do you mean?” You placed a hand on his shoulder, as he sighed.

 

“You know growing up with seven older brothers is hard, but growing up without a father is even harder. For twenty-three years I didn’t even know him. Until you showed me something, that helped me understand everything.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I know who my father is. And you were the one who helped me with this.”

 

“With what?”

 

“With that picture of your family. I knew his face was familiar and after a few days, I realized where I saw him. My mom showed me a picture of herself and my dad some years ago, and he had the same features as your brother.”

 

“Are you telling me what I’m thinking of?”

 

“Your brother is my father, yes.”

 

“Scout…” There was only one question left, but you didn’t know how to bring it up. You hardly found the words you wanted to say.

 

“Yes, I know who your brother is.”

 

“And aren’t you…”

 

“I’m angry, but I’m not brave enough to talk about it with him. Maybe that’s one thing I inherited from him.”

 

“You look so calm right now. It’s just like you don’t even care about it.”

 

“It maybe seems like that, but I’m actually really disturbed every minute since I got to know it. That’s only a mask to cover myself from awkward situations like this.”

 

“Scout, I’m… I’m so sorry to hear this.” Fighting with your tears, you hugged him. You hardly believed the truth when you realized that Spy was your brother, and now you couldn’t imagine what Scout felt. If it was hard for you, then how hard could it be for him?

 

“Don’t be.” For your surprise he let out a bitter chuckle. “I’m sad because of him, but I’m also a bit happy because that means that we are related too. I always wanted someone like you into my life, and since I just can’t fall for you… That was the best outcome for me.”

 

“Why do you have to say things like this?” You couldn’t hold it anymore. Tears were falling down from your face, and Scout tried his best to dry them up.

 

“Are you really crying in front of your nephew?”

 

“We’re not related from blood.”

 

“But it feels so for me. Maybe that’s the reason why we got on so well from the beginning.”

 

“I want to be like you sometimes. Seeing the good part even in the worst thing. Do you think Spy knows?”

 

“To be honest, I don’t care. But I think he does.” He started to run back to the house and you followed him.

 

“He promised me there will be no more secrets between us.”

 

“Would you be happier to get to know about it sooner than me?”

 

“I don’t know.” As you thought about it, everything would have been even harder for you. Scout was your best friend and keeping a secret from him would be a misery. You always talked through every problem of yours, but talking about this would have been the hardest thing. He may read the true answer from your expressions.

 

“I know it must be… not the best thing to know this, but I have to ask you not to talk about it with him.”

 

“Don’t worry I won’t. I don’t think I could speak with him normally after this. And can I…”

 

“You can ask Sniper if he knew it.”

 

“How do you always know what I want to say?”

 

“Just a hunch. Maybe I’m a psychic.” You both started laughing after his statement.

 

*************

You spent the rest of your day at the lake, thinking about everything you heard from Scout. You couldn’t imagine the weight he was carrying even with the memory when you got to know that Spy was your brother. At sunset you got some company, and you were not happy about who it was. From the forest, Medic walked towards you, then he sat down next to you. Trying to avoid eye contacts with him, you stared at the orange and purple sky.

 

“What happened to you?” He asked after some minutes of silence. “We nearly saw you today.”

 

“I’m not in the mood to talk to you.”

 

“What did I do wrong?”

 

“I don’t know, maybe just my feelings got away. After all, I just have a complex against older men.” Silence fell between you again, as he realized what you were talking about.

 

“You… You heard everything?”

 

“Every word. And why did you lie about knowing my real name? Why did you do everything?”

 

“Isn’t it obvious?” You suddenly felt his warmth as he came closer to you. Without any place for you to go, he easily pushed you to the ground, then leaned above you.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“If he doesn’t want you, then I’ll do everything to make you mine.”

 

“Medic, I don’t want it. I thought I was understandable when I said so for the first time.”

 

“You were. But what if you just have to think about it?” He almost literally nailed you to the ground, so you couldn’t escape when he leaned in to kiss you. Medic was much stronger than you, and this fact made it impossible to push him away. When your lips touched, you suddenly felt anger. Why couldn’t he accept a ‘no’ as an answer? You struggled hard, but it was useless. He held your wrists with one hand and started to pull your shirt up with the other.

 

“Doc!” When Scout appeared at the edge of the forest, Medic finally let go of you. “The hell are you doing?”

 

“Nothing.” When he looked down at you, it was like he only realized that moment what he was doing in with you. The doctor suddenly jumped up, then almost ran away from the lakeside.

 

“Thanks.” You said while rubbing your wrists. “I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t come.”

 

“That’s not the only thing you have to thank me.” When you looked up, you saw Sniper standing next to Scout. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He said, then went after Medic.

 

“I’m sorry.” You looked away from your lover’s face, as he walked towards you. “I didn’t know what he was doing.”

 

“I know and I don’t blame you.” He sighed before sitting down and pulling you into an embrace. “I just don’t know what I would have done if Scout wasn’t with me. He talked me out of jumping on the doctor and beating the crap out of him. The kid surely has a good way of using words.”

 

“I know. He talked me out of a lot of bad decisions before.”

 

“Why did Medic do this to you?”

 

“He said if you won’t love me then he will do everything to make me his.”

 

“This is ridiculous.”

 

“Well, we know that he is mentally instable, so it didn’t surprise me that much. But don’t worry, I don’t feel anything for him.”

 

“I know. I trust you.” He ran his fingers through your hair, then turned your head towards himself to kiss you softly.

 

“What were you doing with Scout?”

 

“He told me that you know about Spy being his dad. We were looking for you to talk about this. Are you mad at me?”

 

“No. I have nothing to do with it and Spy kept our secret, so it was obvious that you will keep his too. Again, it wasn’t your part to tell me.”

 

“I love you.” After he said this, you showed a soft smile.

 

“I love you too.”

 

This time his kiss was passionately again. Maybe the things he saw made him want to prove that you were his lover. It wasn’t the most grown up thing, but you didn’t want to stop him. You needed to feel his love too and this was the perfect opportunity for this. He pulled down the top of your dress, then you started to open his shirt. Every little move he made gave you shivers when he helped you up to take off all your clothes. After he pushed down his pants and underpants, Sniper lifted you up and you hugged his hips with your legs. You just couldn’t imagine how he wanted to do it, until he started to walk towards the lake. The water was cold, but you just couldn’t feel how much. He sat on his ankles, then started to caress your body. The warmth of his touch made you tremble and you suddenly felt one of his hands between your tights. You wanted to scream from the pleasure he gave you, but something didn’t let you do so. You bit your lower lip to stop yourself.

 

“Don’t worry.” He whispered. “No one will hear us.”

 

Sniper started kissing your neck and that was the moment when you couldn’t hold back any longer. A low moan escaped from you, and was followed by many others after he was finally inside you. He gently bit your shoulder, then strengthened the pressure of his palms on your hips. Now that you didn’t have to fear about anyone hearing you, everything felt more intense. You could pay more attention on Sniper and the pleasure he gave you. You didn’t know why, but you wanted to stay like this with him forever. After long minutes which felt like hours to you, a strong feeling started to gather in you. Your spine tensed as you reached the highest point. Sniper slowed down his thrusts when your forehead touched his shoulder and you started panting.

 

“You want more?” He whispered with a naughty tone. The only answer you could give him was a nod, which made him smile. “Well, the night is young. And I want to give you everything you need.”


	16. Piece of past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a very tiring week, so this won't be a great chapter, but I hope you'll like it.

That was a stormy day. The battle for that day had been cancelled because of the strong wind and the pouring rain outside. It was freezing even inside the base, so everyone wore some warm clothes. You sat at the table with a scarf on, as the others were laughing. You hardly payed attention on them, while Scout told another story about his childhood. Your mind was somewhere else, but not further from the table. You stared at your glass, like it was something interesting, but when your teammates didn’t see it, you dared to take a glance of the man sitting in front of you. Sniper listened to the runner’s story, but you could tell he wasn’t even interested in it. After some of these peeks (maybe it was the ninth time, but who counts?) your eyes suddenly met his. You tried to look away as soon as it was possible, but something caught your interest. It was like a little sparkle in the brown irises, and it made you tremble softly. This glance only took a moment or two, but you felt like hours passed until Demo stood up with a shout.

 

“Who wants some challenge?”

 

“What kind of challenge?” You sighed after everyone refused to play with the Scotsman.

 

“Who bears more? What do you think?” He held up a bottle of his most precious liquors. You thought it through some times, but finally you decided to participate. Demo already drank some beers and he didn’t eat his dinner. It seemed like an interesting game.

 

“I’m in.” After your answer, it didn’t take so much time for your teammates to make their bets. Almost everyone was sure that Demo will win, but Spy voted beside you.

 

The first three glasses passed, but you didn’t even feel dizzy. The whiskey had a sweet aftertaste which was a bit strange for you taste, but it wasn’t bad. Even if Demo was a bit alcoholic, you had to admit he had a good style with drinks. The liquid left a soft burning in your throat, and made your stomach calmer (which almost a was miracle after the ‘thing’ what Soldier made for dinner). You were doing fine until the tenth round. The alcohol slowly got into your head and made you laugh more than you usually do. When Demo refilled your glass for the thirteenth time, you could tell from his shaking hands that you finally reached the final round. After he drank out half of his glass, Demo collapsed to the ground. While Spy collected the prize from the others, Medic grabbed your wrist to pull you out from the room.

 

“How are you feeling?” He asked as you leaned against the wall.

 

“Yes.” After realizing what you just said, you started laughing again.

 

“So, you can talk. That was everything I need to know.”

 

“Where is Archimedes? I want to pet him so much.”

 

“I’m sure you do… Stay here, please! I’ll help Demo, then I’ll come back for you, _verstehst du_?”

 

“Why?”

 

“You need fresh air. It’ll clean your head a bit.”

 

“Is it dirty?”

 

“Just stay, please…”

 

After Medic went back to the common room, you instantly forgot everything he said. You walked to the sleeping quarters, not even knowing why. You passed your bedroom and went on forward in the hallway. Everything was so quiet here it made you feel like you were sleepwalking. You didn’t know how, but you finally ended up at Engie’s workroom. Leaning against the cold wall, everything turned to be dizzy. The whole place was spinning around you. You suddenly felt hands grabbing your upper arms, keeping you from falling to the ground.

 

“What’s this?” You asked, then turned around to see the same brown eyes as at the table. Sniper was the one holding you.

 

“You almost collapsed.”

 

“But why are you helping? You hate me.”

 

“What happened to you?”

 

“I don’t remember.” The longer you looked into his eyes, the stronger a feeling become inside you. You couldn’t think straight as you leaned in to kiss him. You prepared yourself if he pushed you away, but nothing like this happened. Sniper accepted what you were doing, and even pulled you closer. “You kissed back.”

 

“Only because of the drinks. I’m glad you won’t remember this in the morning.”

 

“Why?”

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

He picked you up bridal-style, then started walking bac to the hallways. His shirt smelled like coffee and tobacco, but somehow you liked it. You couldn’t tell why, but it calmed your nerves. He brought you back to your room and went inside. After Sniper put you on the bed, he wanted to leave. Something made you not wanting him to go, and you took your arms around his neck to pull him back. As your eyes met again, you kissed him with passion like you never would do while being sober. After some moments you started undoing is shirt, but he grabbed your wrists.

 

“This isn’t right.” He whispered, but you could feel his pants tightening.

 

“I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

 

“I’m sure about that. Because you won’t even remember.”

 

“I’m not that drunk.”

 

“Then how did we get here?” When you couldn’t answer his question, Sniper sighed heavily. “That’s what I’m talking about. You are too wasted for this.”

 

“I promise I will remember. I could never forget if you slept with me.”

 

“You swear?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why do I feel that I will regret this?” He murmured before taking off his shirt, then leaning in to kiss you.

 

****************

 

You never had a dream as strange as this before. It felt so real, but you knew that wasn’t possible. Sniper hated you for years, so you two couldn’t end up in one bed before New Year’s Eve. You woke up in your own bed. You didn’t know how you got back, but it didn’t matter in the moment, when you felt Sniper’s arm around you. The only thing you remembered from yesterday night was that you blacked out after making love in the lake with him.

 

“Why are you up so early?” He asked, then kissed your neck.

 

“I just can’t sleep anymore. Feeling reposeful though.”

 

“What we did last night was… It was just so perfect.”

 

“Maybe you should be jealous more often.” You chuckled as his fingers found their way through your hair. “We are going back today, aren’t we?”

 

“Yes. We have to think about a place for our dates.” His voice turned bitter in the moment when he said the first word.

 

“What about your van?”

 

“I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

 

“I was there before. Why would it be any different?” You got out of bed, then started to get dressed.

 

“Because I would hardly say that you were a friend of mine that time. Now you are my girlfriend and that’s not a place I would show you. Everything is messy in there.”

 

“Then why don’t you clean up? The whole base is full of cameras. If you want to keep it a secret, then we have to meet in your van.”

 

“Look! I’m still thinking about telling them the truth. Just give me some time!”

 

“I didn’t say that to hurry you. I just want to spend more time with you.” You sat back on the bed and caressed his cheek to comfort him.

 

“I can say the same.” Sniper gave you a soft kiss, then he got up to get dressed too. “What do you think the doc will act like today? After what he did, I think he will try again or something.”

 

“Or you wish he will, so you can beat him?”

 

“I won’t do anything like this. Medic can court you as much as he wants, but you are MY girlfriend, so he doesn’t have any chance on you. Am I right?”

 

“Yes, but I know it bothers you.”

 

“Why don’t you tell him to get lost? I don’t understand. If you don’t want him to do this, then why can’t you rebuke him?”

 

“You really think I never tried to do so? I told him weeks ago, and I thought he understood me, but… Something changed in him since then. Don’t know why, but I just can’t feel that way about him. Maybe it’s because of the age gap between us.”

 

“But it didn’t stop you to hook up with him.”

 

“And here it comes again.” You rolled your eyes with a sigh. “Why are you so jealous? I told you I’m not interested in Medic.”

 

“Because I don’t like to see my girl in someone else’s hands. Can we change the topic? I don’t want to talk about Medic.”

 

“You started it.”

 

“And I’m finishing it too.” Suddenly he pushed you down on the pillows and gave you a kiss.

 

“So, I don’t have to answer?”

 

“I didn’t say that. I just don’t want to speak about him. But you can tell me why you slept with him. I want to know what you saw in him.”

 

“Nothing, to be honest. I just had needs and he was the only one I could reach. And now I regret everything…” As you sighed from sadness, Sniper sat down beside you, then started caressing your hair.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I know he only loves me because of what we did for three years long. I hate to admit it, but this is only my fault. We were drunk one night and I already had a need to sleep with someone and he was there and… You know the rest. If I just controlled myself, then nothing would have happened.”

 

“I don’t think it’s your fault. You can’t be blamed for how he feels. And I don’t think it either that he wouldn’t love you even if you didn’t sleep with him. After all, it’s not like he was the first for you, am I right?” He obviously tried joking about this topic to make you feel better, but when you didn’t answer the question, his face turned pale in a second. “Please, tell me I’m right…” You turned you glance away from him, which only made Sniper more worried. “Shadow, please… Say something!”

 

“I told you I messed everything up.”

 

“You didn’t. It’s just…” You looked back at him as he was looking for the right words. “It changes a lot of things. But you were twenty-eight at that time. How could you still be…”

 

“To be honest, I think you are the only one who thinks I’m pretty. Right here I’m the only woman which makes everything different. If a really pretty woman appears tomorrow, I’m sure you will see what I’m like in reality. That I’m a nothing.”

 

“You really think I would?”

 

“I’m sure.” After your answer, Sniper leaned down again and touched your forehead with his.

 

“Why would I want a really pretty woman, when I have a beauty like you?  I mean it. You look just perfect, believe me!” His lips touched yours for a moment, then you let out a small chuckle.

 

“You are talking like this relationship started years ago, but I know you only love me since a month ago. Why is that?”

 

“How can you tell it this easily? Maybe it started further than a month ago.”

 

“You hated me then. I know it.”

 

“Do you recall anything important from six months ago?”

 

“Only that you started to be more annoying that time.”

 

“Then there is something we have to talk about.” Sniper suddenly turned sad as he said these words. “I mean… I have to tell you something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> verstehst du? = you understand?


	17. Consequences

“What are you doing?” Sniper chuckled as you tiptoed to kiss his cheek. The two of you were outside his van, while he was trying to repair something in the engine.

 

“I just want to recover that I forgot that night. I promised I won’t, but I couldn’t keep it and I hurt you with that.” Since you got back to the base, you tried everything to make things up for him. Though he didn’t seem to be angry, you wanted to be sure.

 

“You don’t have to. I knew you won’t remember anything. I only accepted your offer, because I was drunk too, and I couldn’t control my feelings then.”

 

“So, you liked me before?” You stepped a bit further from Sniper, letting him work in peace. You watched his hands with interest, but you couldn’t tell what he was doing. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

 

“Why do you think Spy helped me a month ago? I’m not the man of words, and I didn’t know how to approach you. Plus I was afraid of making any kind of contact with you.”

 

“And when did you start liking me?”

 

“Maybe a month before that night. I think I should be sorry for treating you like I did for six months. Hating you because you didn’t have control over your own mind that time… It was a mistake.”

 

“And why?”

 

“Why was it a mistake?”

 

“No. Why you started liking me? I mean we hardly spoke with each other and I don’t look like anyone’s dream girl.”

 

“The first time I noticed anything was when I saw you through my scope during a battle. You captured a control point and when you smiled from excitement, my heart skipped a beat. You looked almost that way where I was hiding and that happiness in your eyes got me. I saw another side of you that day.”

 

“And you said you can’t be adorable…” You chuckled as his checks turned red. You looked at his watch and saw it was almost dinner time. “We should head back. I know Engie finished cooking by now.”

 

“Go ahead! I’ll follow you in some minutes, but I have to finish this first.”

 

“Shall I wait for you?”

 

“I will be okay. And it will be a bit strange if we headed back together.”

 

“Alright.”

 

You showed a weak smile before heading back to the base, but deep inside you were sad. Sniper was still thinking about your plan, and you understood his point, but the remorse what Heavy left in you started to be unbearable. The fact that Snipers bruises still didn’t fade wasn’t really helping your soul and Medic just made everything worse for you. He was avoiding you again, and you were okay with this, but sometimes he gave you little hints about what he wants. For example on the way back, he whispered something naughty to you while passing by and you still couldn’t believe those words. For your luck, Scout was always there for you, so you wouldn’t end up alone with the doctor.

 

When you entered the base, a really good smell hit your nose. Engie managed again to cook something amazing. The others were sitting at the table, and when Medic saw you at the door, he showed a waggish smile. Heavy saw that, so he stood up and went to you before the doctor could do the same.

 

“Thanks!” You said as Medic leaned back disappointedly.

 

“I know what he’s doing with you.” Heavy looked down at you. “Did you tell Sniper?”

 

“Yes, he knows everything. He just can’t protect me from the doc.”

 

“Did you think about what I said?”

 

“It’s not up to just me. Sniper fears about it, and I can understand that.”

 

“Want me to speak with him? I won’t tell him I know, but I can make him calmer a bit, if you want.”

 

“That would be great. Thanks!”

 

“Anytime.” He smiled, the led you to the table. Heavy sat next to Medic, so you could sit further from him. You were really thankful for what he was doing for you.

 

After Sniper arrived too, Engie brought the huge pot in the middle of the table. Everyone started to take their portion, like they were starving. You only wanted a small ration of the delicious and rich soup, so you waited until they finished fighting over the ladle. When everyone got their plates full, the boys started talking. Someone always brought up some topic, and they all told their point on it. You remained to be silent, but it was fun listening to their little arguments over almost everything. Maybe the best part was when Soldier and Demo wanted to convince each other about which country makes the best beer. Demo insisted that German beer was the best, while Soldier said it surely can’t beat the American ones.

 

“You don’t know what you are talking about, maggot!” Soldier shouted after some minutes of arguing. “I’m sure they put everything they find into those dirty liquids.”

 

“Did I hear right what you just said?” Medic asked with a grin. “You aren’t insulting my country’s most famous liquor, are you?”

 

“I only said that America can’t be beaten by any other country.”

 

“Of course you only said that…” The only man Soldier was a bit afraid of was Medic. He had this power to scare people with only a glance.

 

“Let it go, doc.” Sniper rolled his eyes. “You know how he is. It doesn’t worth it to fight with him when he’s talking about America.”

 

“It’s only patriotism. I don’t expect you to understand things like this.” Soldier mumbled while sitting back into his chair.

 

“You alright?” Scout whispered to you as the others continued their fight. “You nearly ate anything today.”

 

“Just don’t have much appetite.” You said.

 

“You’re not pregnant, are you?”

 

“Scout, we’ve been through this a few times by now. I can’t be. By the way, pregnant women eat more, not less than they usually do.”

 

“Indeed. Sorry, I didn’t really pay attention on biology classes.”

 

“So that’s why you drink Bonk, even though it contains five times more sugar than you should have per day?” You smiled at the runner which made him chuckle.

 

“It’s rude to whisper while you have other company.” For Medic’s voice, both of you looked up. Everyone was looking at you. “What was so funny?”

 

“Don’t be a fly on the wall, mate.” Sniper said in hope, the doctor will leave you alone.

 

“At least I’m not a barnacle as you. Parasitizing other people’s feelings.”

 

“You know I prefer other animals.” They started fighting again, almost throwing sparkles with their eyes at each other. Sniper suddenly turned to you with a grin. “Would you mind?” You exactly knew what he wanted to say.

 

“Go ahead!” Finally you shrugged, and Sniper turned back to the doctor with an evil smile.

 

“Dolphins to be exact.”

 

You started laughing low-key, as Medic froze in shock. The others had no idea, what happened, so they only stared at the two men. You could see in the doctor’s eyes that he was thinking hard, and when he figured out what Sniper just said, he looked at you.

 

“ _Hündin_.” Your heart almost stopped when he said this word. After some moments of silence, anger started to take over in your mind.

 

“What did you just call me?” You pushed your chair further from the table.

 

“You exactly heard, what I said.” When he rolled his eyes, you jumped on the table, then kneeled before him.

 

“Dare to say it again!” You activated the metal claws on the end of your fingers, and held it up threateningly. It seemed like you didn’t scare him, but his eyes were shaking a bit.

 

“Oh, please…” He chuckled softly as you leaned closer.

 

“I double dare you!”

 

“You won’t hurt me. I know you can’t do so. You’re too… What’s that word? _Schwach._ ”

 

“Would you bet?” You swung your arm towards him, but a strong hand grabbed your wrist. You looked up to see Heavy with a worried face.

 

“I think that’s enough.” He said while looking at the doctor. “For both of you.”

 

“He deserves it.”

 

“Come!” He suddenly grabbed you, then took you on his shoulder. He walked out to the hallway with you. After Scout followed you and closed the door, Heavy finally put you down.

 

“What does that word he said mean?” The runner asked when you sat on the ground and leaned against the wall.

 

“A girl who sleeps with every men.”

 

“Ouch! And why did he say it?”

 

“Because I slept with Sniper.” You answered while pulling up your knees.

 

“But how he knows this?”

 

“I have a dolphin tattoo on my hip. The doc dared Sniper to lay me, then tell him the shape of the mark. He refused it, but I told him, he can protect himself with this information if Medic insults him again.”

 

“But what if he will beat him again now?” As Heavy asked this, the thought suddenly hit you.

 

“Oh, God!” Your face run pale in the moment, when you remembered what happened some days ago. “The hell was I thinking?”

 

“Don’t worry!” Scout sat down beside you, and took an arm around your shoulders. “We won’t let that happen again. Right, big man?”

 

“ _Da_! Won’t happen ever again.” Suddenly a big crash could be heard from the common room, then Engie appeared in the door.

 

“Sorry for bothering you, but we need Heavy right now.” His words were followed by another loud crash.

 

“What is happening?”

 

“Sniper and Medic are fighting. We can’t separate them.”

 

“Coming.”

 

“You alright?” Scout helped you up after the other two men went to the common room.

 

“I don’t really know.” When you heard them shouting, remorse started to take over your heart. “I have to think everything through.”

 

“I understand.” He gave you a hug, before you went to your room.

 

Once inside, you dropped yourself on the bed. Maybe you started to understand why relationships weren’t approved here. It only makes disagreements between the teammates. What were you thinking? Starting something like this, when you exactly knew what it could take away. Then you suddenly realized, you weren’t even thinking. You only thought about losing your job, but there were more consequences. And you just couldn’t deal with them, you knew it. You had to make a really hard decision right there.

 

“Shadow?” You heard a knock on your door. “Please, let me in!” When you realized who was outside, you walked to the door, then opened it to look into Sniper’s eyes. He looked terrible. Covered in bruises and small wounds. “I’m sorry.” He tried to hug you, but you pushed him away carefully. “Please, don’t do this!”

 

“What were we thinking, Mick?” As you spoke, tears started to wet your eyes. “Having a secret relationship and endanger our jobs while doing so. This is just too much.”

 

“Don’t say this, love!”

 

“I know we said we can work it out, but it seems like we can’t. It started good, but everything turned to be the worst. We can’t deal with it anymore.”

 

“You’re not saying, what I think you are saying, right?” When the first drop of tear slid down on his cheek, you had to be strong not to show him that you were on the edge of crying too. “Right?”

 

“Mick, it was wonderful being with you for these few days, but… I think we came to an end.”

 

“I promise I will change everything! I’ll make things right.”

 

“You can’t. The team is already falling into pieces, and I want to prevent the total breakdown. I’m sorry, but we have to do this.”

 

“Shadow, please…”

 

“It’s over. And we have to go on like nothing happened. You understand?” While you said it out loud, it was even harder to keep your tears back.

 

“Can I at least have a last kiss?”

 

“I’m sorry, Sniper.” After these words, you closed your door just in time, before you started crying.

 

“I know, my love. I know…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hündin = Bitch  
> Schwach = Weak  
> Da = Yes


	18. Error

“You okay?” Scout stood next to you with worried eyes. There was one minute left until the first battle after the break started.

 

“I think so.” You lied. Nothing was okay after yesterday. Your heart was in pieces and your mood wasn’t in the best condition either. Everyone noticed it, but no one dared to ask you. Except Scout of course.

 

“I’m sorry for what happened. Must be pretty hard for you now.”

 

“I had to do it. There were no other options.”

 

“And you really think he will give up on you this easy? Letting you go after what happened?”

 

“To be honest, I hope he won’t. Even I’m still thinking about a good solution. But after yesterday, I don’t think he will try anything again. I broke his heart, I’m sure.”

 

“Don’t look, but he’s staring at you right now. I believe he still wants to be with you.”

 

“This doesn’t work like you think. I told him to stop, he understood, end of story.”

 

“Or just a new beginning. Trust me! Everything will be alright, I just know it.”

 

“Wish I could say the same.”

 

****************

 

BLU team surely wanted to win after the long break. They were really aggressive in the first half of the battle. When noon arrived, they brought back their blood, but you knew it was only for diversion. All you wanted right there was to get into their intelligence room as soon as it was possible. With using your cloak it shouldn’t be a hard work, but there was a problem. You needed to go through a sunny passage with no shadows at all. The enemy Engineer was clever enough to put a sentry right there, so you couldn’t pass.

 

You decided to go through the little wooden building next to the passage. When you reached its door, a familiar noise hit your ears. The moan coming out of there, made you blush. You couldn’t help it, but you wanted to know what was happening there, even though you exactly knew the answer. As you slightly opened the door, the first thing you saw inside was the BLU Engineer with his past at his ankles. Sitting on a box in front of him was the enemy Shadow, and you knew she made those noises which took your interest in the first place.

 

As you closed the door, a sad memory came into your mind. You didn’t know why, but seeing them like this made your heart ache. Maybe because they reminded you of the days you spent with Sniper, but who could tell? You walked to the nearest alley, then leaned to the wall. The only thing you wanted right there was to hug a certain someone tight. You missed his touch and the sweet words he always told you. Even breathing made you pain worse, so you placed one hand on your chest, hoping it will stop. But of course it was useless.

 

“Hey, sweetheart!” A voice came from the other end of the alley, and you turned your head to see who was there. You saw Sniper’s face with a smile on it. Or at least someone who looked like him. When the man walked closer, you grabbed your pistol, then held it up to point on his head.

 

“Nice try…” You growled, as the metal touched his forehead.

 

“What can I say?” The next moment you looked into the enemy Spy’s eyes. He was still smiling, and it made you uptight. “So, I guess you broke up. That was really fast.”

 

“Can I ask something, before I shoot you to death?”

 

“ _Bien sûr, mon cher_.”

 

“Did you know that you Shadow and Engineer are together?”

 

“The whole team knows.”

 

“And you didn’t report them, because?”

 

“Why would we do anything like that? We don’t need fights between our teammates.” The smile on his face told you that he knows everything about what happened with your Sniper and Medic. It only annoyed you more.

 

“Fuck this…” You dropped your pistol, then turned around holding your hands upper. “I’m tired of your stupid games. Just stab me or something so I can respawn.”

 

“Respawn won’t heal your pain, _mon amour_.”

 

“What?” When you looked back at him, Spy’s face was sad. The sorry in his eyes confused your mind.

 

“I know how it feels to have an unfulfilled love. Can be hard sometimes.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“Love is complicated, you know? Sometimes you fall for the only one you shouldn’t.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“It’s not accidental, that I always kill you. I should look for your Sniper in every battle, but I don’t want to do so.”

 

“I don’t like where this is going.” You wanted to step back, but t wall was in your way. Spy started walking towards you, then cornered you with his arms.

 

“Neither did I. But I just had to accept it.” He suddenly disguised himself as Sniper, and with this, fear took the control over you. Your muscles refused to move. “I know you prefer him, and it will be easier this way.” Everything was the same. The voice, the outside, and somehow even the inside. It was really hard to see the Spy there and not the man you loved so much. He acted just like Sniper did yesterday. “And I know I don’t have any chance with you, but I just want to experience this.” He said the last few words really slowly, then leaned in to kiss you.

 

Your muscles were still frozen, even though you wanted to run away. Suddenly you heard a shot, then he stepped back only to collapse in front of you. When your sanity came back, you looked around to see who killed the BLU Spy, but saw no one. You kneeled down and finally realized what could have happened. On his head, there was only one wound, and you could see the bullet inside. Right after this, the body disappeared, and you were alone again. Not knowing what to do now, you sat on the ground, pulled up your knees, then started to cry. Because of the kiss, your pain was unbearable now. It brought back everything you wanted to forget.

 

“Shadow?” When you looked up, you saw Medic kneeling in front of you. “What happened?” He put down his Medi Gun, then gently grabbed your chin with one hand, and with the other he tried to dry up your tears. “Are you hurt?”

 

“You can’t heal this.”

 

“Where does it hurt?” As an answer, you put a hand on your chest. He got what you meant by this, and softly hugged you. In any other time it would have been a warming gesture, but right there you couldn’t bear it.

 

“Don’t touch me!” You pushed him away, then stood up filled with anger.

 

“I just want to help you.” He arose too, and tried to hug you again, but you didn’t let him.

 

“I said, don’t touch me!”

 

“Shadow, please, stay still!”

 

“No!”

 

“I’m not here to hurt you.”

 

“You hurt me too much by now!” At last, you had enough.

 

With a strong-minded move, you punched him in the face, which made him fall to the ground. When Medic touched where you hit him, he realized that his mouth was bleeding. Breathing really fast out of anger, you took your pistol from where you dropped it before, then left him in the alley alone. The ache moved to your head, and it bothered you. Every wave of pain was worse than the one before. You knew why it happened, but you didn’t want it to break out from you. There was only one way to prevent this. You held up your pistol right under your chin, then pulled the trigger.

 

As always, respawn wasn’t the best experience, and that was the reason why you hated going through it. This felt like you were ripped into pieces, then put together again in a very painful way. You could tell this time it took more time for the machine to revive you, but it only felt like some more seconds inside. Really hard seconds though. When you woke up in the respawn room, something seemed really off. First of all, it was dark outside, maybe close to midnight. Second of all, Engie was kneeling in front of you. He seemed pretty worried.

 

“You alright?” He asked while helping you up.

 

“Yes, but what happened?”

 

“You were out for a while. Maybe a respawn error. After you shot yourself, the Administrator made a cease-fire. Everyone was really afraid, when you didn’t come back in the prescribed time.”

 

“I was out for hours?”

 

“For three days, darling.” As he said this, your face ran pale in a moment. “It looks like they couldn’t repair the system properly. Everyone worried you won’t even come back. Why did you even shoot yourself?”

 

“I wanted to stop the rampage mode in me. It started to be on, and I didn’t want it to do so.”

 

“Let’s just be happy, you’re back.” He sighed, then led you to the common room. “You hungry?”

 

“Like I didn’t eat for days.”

 

“I think that’s understandable.” Engie smiled as you sat to the table. He took a sandwich in front of you, which made you starve even more. You bit in the bread like it was an antidote for some kind of lethal poison. “What are you going to do now? I doubt that you would be tired, so…”

 

“I don’t really know.” There was only one person you wanted to calm personally. Or to be honest, he was the only one you could go to. Heavy wasn’t the worrying type, you didn’t want to go to Medic, speaking with Spy was still hard after knowing who he was, and Sniper wasn’t your boyfriend anymore. “I’ll go and find Scout now.”

 

“I was expecting this. The kid was really out of his mind these days. You two are together?”

 

“What?” You couldn’t help it, but you chuckled to the thought of being with the runner. “No. Why would you think so?”

 

“Because you spend a lot of time together. Running, speaking, keeping secrets, you know. It just looked like this.”

 

“You know the contract. No relationships. And we are just friends, nothing more.”

 

“I don’t think a relationship would only mean trouble. Being all satisfied and happy can make you better at work. The BLU version of me is the perfect example for this.”

 

“You knew that too?” Your jaw almost dropped when he said this. Were you the only one who didn’t know about them?

 

“They really aren’t keeping it as a secret. You would think that hooking up in battles makes you distracted, but they don’t seem like that. I’m a bit jealous, to be honest.”

 

“Yeah, me too.” The memory made you sad, just like you were when you saw them together. “Sorry, but I have to go now.”

 

“I saw the kid outside running.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

You stood up, then exited the base without a word. How could you be out for days? Everything felt like moments, while respawning, but you had to admit you spent two more seconds inside than usual. You let the chilly air fill your lungs, and clear your head. You didn’t even get time to forget everything that happened. To be exact, you weren’t even sure, that thing happened. Why would the BLU Spy kiss you? Especially in a battle. This was just so unreal.

 

“Shadow?” The voice coming from your side made you turn that way. Sniper was running towards you. When he reached you, you held up your hands defensively. You didn’t know why though. Maybe it was a reflex after what happened last time you saw him. Or at least, when you thought you saw him. “Don’t worry! This time I’m myself.”

 

“Prove it!” He turned around, and when your device didn’t signal, you knew he was telling the truth. After you sighed with relieve, he pulled you into a hug.

 

“I missed you so much. The fear of losing you forever was just unbearable.”

 

“If you hold me this tight, then you maybe have to fear more.”

 

“Sorry!” He let go of you with a warming smile. Looking into his eyes made you blush, and when he noticed it, he let out a small chuckle. “So, I guess you still like me.”

 

“What made you think I didn’t anymore?”

 

“Because you let the BLU Spy kiss you.”

 

“That was only because I was frozen by fear. He came, confessed, disguised as you, then kissed me. I couldn’t understand what was going on.”

 

“He confessed?” It looked like Sniper wasn’t really surprised about what you said. He only rose an eyebrow and did nothing more. It was just like…

 

“You knew about it?”

 

“I only guessed it. He’s always out for you, after all. That’s why I came out that day to save you.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I’m always stuck in that dark nest, waiting for a target, and he can be out there, seeing you from close anytime. I was a bit jealous. Wanted to come out and spend some minutes with you, like he does.”

 

“Sniper?” When he started to stare into the distance, you placed a hand on his cheek which made his glance turn back to you.

 

“I miss you. I really do.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Is there any way for us to be together again?”

 

“Only if the doctor stops wanting me. I don’t want you to fight because of me and a conflict in the team is nothing but trouble. If I can stop it, then I’ll do everything for it.”

 

“Even hurt yourself like that?”

 

“I got to go now…” The pain in your chest started to be unbearable as he looked down at you with his deep brown eyes. When you turned around to break the eye contact, Sniper quickly placed a hand on your shoulder, so you couldn’t get away that easy.

 

“I won’t give up on you just like this, you know?”

 

“To be honest, I hoped you won’t.” You heard him sighing while you crossed your fingers with his ones on your shoulder. After some moments, you felt him gently hugging you from behind.

 

“You told her already?” Suddenly Scout appeared next to you, which made both of you jump.

 

“You almost gave me a heart attack.” You said as he hugged you tightly for some seconds.

 

“It’s so good to have you back.” After letting go of you, he turned back to Sniper. “So, did you tell her about…”

 

“Not now, kid!” The taller man quickly covered the younger ones mouth with his hand.

 

“What do you have to tell me?” You asked after watching them whispering for some seconds.

 

“This isn’t the time for this. You’ll get to know soon.” And with that, Sniper dragged Scout towards his van, leaving you alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bien sûr = Of course  
> mon cher = my dear  
> mon amour = my love


	19. The trick

“I said no.” You tried keeping your door closed, while Medic really wanted to go in. “Told you I’m fine.”

 

“I just want to be sure. Let me examine you!”

 

“I’m feeling okay.”

 

“You spent the day in there, and you didn’t let anyone in. It doesn’t look like you are okay.”

 

“Believe me, I can tell if something hurts or missing. I’m alright, just tired.” Finally the pressure from the other side of the door disappeared. You didn’t close it though, so it was open a crack.

 

“I know you just don’t want to see me.” After he sighed, you heard a small knock. Medic probably leaned his head against the door. “You need company though, so… Can at least he come in?” Suddenly he held his hand inside, and you saw Archimedes sitting on one of his fingers. “He’s really worried about you.”

 

“How old do you think I am?” You chuckled as the dove flew on your shoulder.

 

“I exactly know your age, but I also know, that you like him so much. And he likes you as well.”

 

“Why are you doing this?” You asked while caressing the bird’s head with your index finger. His soft feathers were just perfect for you to calm your mind.

 

“Because I care about you. We are friends after all.”

 

“Just because of that?”

 

“ _Ja_. Because of that.” You thought he’s lying, but his voice sounded honest. What could have happened in those days, while you were gone?

 

“Thanks.”

 

“I know you are smiling.” And he was right. “When you do, your voice gets a bit lower pitch. How’s the little guy there?”

 

“I guess he’s happy to know that I’m okay.”

 

“I’m sure he is.” He sighed with relieve.

 

“Are we still talking about Archimedes?” Your plan worked, and he started laughing softly. After what he just did for your soul, you maybe wanted to talk with him like you used to do before he confessed. “I missed these moments. Having fun together as friends. I feel like it was too long since we last done this.”

 

“ _Ich auch_. Wish we could go back to those times. I wish you would forget everything I did.”

 

“It will take some time, but… I believe everything will be alright.”

 

“I’m glad to hear this.”

 

After his words, Archimedes flew out from the room right back to him. Medic suddenly held his hand inside again, and you exactly knew what he wanted. You reached out too, then crossed your fingers with his. In that moment you didn’t feel that he did it because of love, but because of friendship. Nothing more. Suddenly your moment broke as the alarm rang. Medic let go of your hand, and both of you knew what this meant.

 

“Engie, what happened?” You heard the doctor’s voice from outside.

 

“I saw someone outside. Just a glimpse of blue, but to be sure, I locked the doors immediately. Heavy already went out to see who it could be.”

 

“He went alone?”

 

“Yes, but he sent me to get you. I think you two will be enough for this.”

 

“Why would they come here on a cease-fire?”

 

“That’s why I locked the doors.”

 

“ _Gut_! Go ahead! I’ll follow you in a minute.” You heard footsteps, then Medic opened your door a bit broader. “Is it okay with you if I come back after this? Just to talk a bit more like we did until now.”

 

“Of course.”

 

After he went away, you decided it’s time to do what you wanted before he got to your room. Somehow you knew when the others usually go showering, and you still had an hour before Soldier would get there. You quickly collected a fresh pile of clothes, then went out to the dressing room. When you started pulling off your shirt, you suddenly noticed something. You heard the flowing water, like someone was already in here. After some seconds a quiet moan came out from the showers. A moan which you have heard before. And when it was followed by your codename, you couldn’t help it, but you went to the door, then opened it a crack. It was enough for you to take a peek, and what you saw made you tremble.

 

Sniper was inside, under one of the douches. The look of his naked body and the thought of what he did before you slightly opened the door… You started to realize how much you really missed his touch. As your heartbeat fastened, you couldn’t bear the sight any longer. You knew that walking in would be the worst idea, so there was only one other option. With the clean clothes in your hands, you ran back to your room. It was hard not to think about what you saw, and what could have happened, if you didn’t run away. You decided to lay down on the bed, so you could try to forget about this. For some minutes your mind refused to even think about anything else than him, and you thought it would be a good idea to press your pillow into your face. And it really made you a bit calmer. Until you felt some kind of pressure on the mattress between your tights. You thought it was just your imagination, but when someone touched your hands, you dropped the pillow to the ground.

 

“Don’t worry!” Sniper was kneeling above you. He only wore his pants, and when you looked at his naked chest you trembled again. You wanted to touch him. Every little piece of him.

 

“What are you doing here?” You tried to hide the need in your voice, but your intermittent breathing revealed everything. He showed a naughty smile, while leaning down on you. His lips were soft when he slowly kissed you.

 

“You saw me, didn’t you?”

 

“I didn’t mean to. I just heard something, and I wanted to know what was happening.”

 

“You don’t have to make excuses, love.” Sniper took his hands under your shirt, then started to pull it off, but you grabbed his shoulders before he could do so. “I think it would be fair, if you took these off. I want to see you too.”

 

“This isn’t right. You know the reason why we broke up.”

 

“And I told you I won’t give up this easily. I love you, and I will always feel it.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

“Wish it would mean anything.” His smile disappeared as Sniper leaned in again to kiss you.

 

You had an idea what he was talking about. That parting surely broke his heart. The will to show him that you really meant it made this the most emotional kiss you ever had. You felt like he was starving for you, as he took off your clothes. Driven by the moment, you let him do so. His palms were soft on your bare skin.

 

“You are beautiful.” Sniper whispered on your lips while caressing your whole body. As he reached lower and lower on you his palm disappeared from you and when his hand found its way between your tights, only his fingertips remained on your skin. “How does it feel?” He started moving his fingers in you, and the feeling made you let out a quiet moan. It was the perfect answer for his question. “You know…” He spoke up again after some minutes. “I always wondered about something.” The hand from down there was now right next to your shoulder on the mattress. He started moving lower on you, leaving kisses everywhere on your skin. “You always smell like cherry.”

 

“It’s just the soap I use. What do you mean by this?”

 

“I always wanted to know if you tasted like that too.” And with this, his head reached the wanted spot on you.

 

As his tongue moved inside you, every muscle in your body stretched by the pleasure. Suddenly Sniper got his right arm around your tight, and with his other hand he reached up to massage your breast. This whole action surprised you, but after you thought about it a bit deeper, you realized he was maybe starving for this for a while now. You only saw like the whole break up happened a day ago, but for him it could have been an eternity ago. Especially with the fact he thought for three long days that you were dead forever. After some minutes the pleasure he gave you was about to reach its greatest height. While your heartbeat fastened, you ran your fingers through his hair. But before your orgasm could break out, his touch disappeared from you. His tongue, his palms. Everything gone from your skin, leaving you with your nerves shouting for release.

 

“No, please…” Even breathing was hard for you, and you closed your eyes waiting for him to finish teasing you. “I was on the edge. Why did you stop?”

 

“Only for this.”

 

In the next moment, you heard him unbuttoning his pants. After he leaned down to kiss you passionately, you could feel him inside you. When he started to move your orgasm started to build up again. It was wonderful. As the first wave of pleasure reached you, a sweet tremble went down on your spine and a louder moan broke out from your throat. And when you reached the height, it felt like reality broke around you. Your heart started to beat faster and faster with every second. Then suddenly everything stopped.

 

“Open the door!” Medic shouted from the hallway, then knocked hard on the wood.

 

“It was faster than I thought…” Sniper’s face ran pale, as he jumped out from your bed. You pulled your shirt on with anger. The marksman stepped back, until he reached the wall beside the door. “Shadow… Please forgive me!”

 

“What?” You didn’t know what was happening. Sniper acted like he did something horrible, and Medic knocked so hard like he wanted to break the door. “You did nothing wrong.”

 

“I did. And it’s wrong enough to make you hate me for your whole life.”

 

“I can’t believe this. Yeah, it wasn’t the best idea ever, but we only made love, nothing more.”

 

“You don’t understand.”

 

“Open the door, you fucking bastard!” This voice made you freeze. It was Sniper’s voice, and it came from outside.

 

When the door gave up and broke in, the picture was already complete in your head. Medic shot the man standing in your corner, then the real Sniper ran to you. He sat on the bed beside you and hugged you tight. The panic attack you had was horrible. You felt tears rolling down your cheeks, but you weren’t really crying. Sniper’s skin was still wet, and you just couldn’t see why you didn’t notice sooner that the man you were with was completely dry.

 

“Can you…” Sniper looked up on the doctor. Medic nodded, then left the room, leaving you two alone. Sniper’s embrace was tighter now and after some minutes it made your panic slowly fade away. “Feeling better?”

 

“I…” You hardly found the words from the fear. “I think…”

 

“Everything will be alright, love. I’m here now.”

 

“Can you…”

 

“What do you need?”

 

“Can you stay for the night?”

 

“Are you sure you want this?”

 

“Don’t leave me, Mick. I need you.”

 

“I will be here for you forever.” He said with a relieved sigh, then raised your head by your chin. When your eyes met with his brown ones, Sniper slowly leaned in to kiss you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ja = Yes  
> Ich auch = Me too  
> Gut = Good


	20. Heartbroken...

You exhaled leaving a cloud of smoke in the air. You gave up this guilty pleasure years ago, but yesterday’s night made you take a cigarette again. This was the fifth piece since your panic got away and it happened only three hours ago. Sleeping was just a beautiful illusion for you then. When you tried to close your eyes, every image came back into your mind. Sniper stayed there with you as you asked him. Most of the time went away in silence. It was still really hard for you to find words, and it looked like he understood why.

 

“How could this happen?” This question was only poetical, but every time you said one of these, Sniper felt that he must answer.

 

“He came in after Engie locked the doors, then followed you everywhere. I think he was sure that I will think you are with Medic in here, so I won’t come in.”

 

“I understood this for the last three times when you told me. I just can’t apprehend what he thought. That I won’t ever ask you about it, or what?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe he wasn’t thinking at all. I’m glad the doc figured things out that soon.”

 

“Tell me again, how did he do it?”

 

“When they saw the broken window, they knew the enemy got inside. They didn’t see anyone on the cameras, and there was only one man who could hide this well. I think it was suspicious when he saw me coming out from the showers, because he saw me only ten minutes ago in the hallway too.”

 

“But this doesn’t explain anything.”

 

“He said he saw me walking into your room. I tried to convince him this didn’t happen, but he didn’t believe me for a while. It took minutes for me, but when he finally understood what I said… Believe me when I say that you don’t want to see that grin ever!”

 

“Mick, what happened while I was away? You two are speaking to each other again like friends.”

 

“We just had a shared moment. You are the only common thing between us and missing you got us a little closer.”

 

“So, he knows about how you feel?”

 

“He knows that we are close friends.”

 

“I see.” You turned to the corner where the doc shot the other man. The body gone after some seconds, but the blood was still on the white walls. When Sniper noticed what you were doing, he placed a hand on your further cheek, to turn your glance on himself.

 

“We will clean up after Medic wakes up. Just don’t look at the blobs! Look at me instead!” He took your head between both of his palms now, then pressed his forehead against yours.

 

“You are too good to me.”

 

“You deserve it. Especially after last night.” After this, he kissed you. You wanted to enjoy this. You really tried, but his soft lips only reminded you of what happened. When he felt the first drop of tear slipping between you two, he released you.

 

“I’m sorry.” You wiped off every drop from your face, but they didn’t stop.

 

“No need. I understand. Come here!” He pulled you closer. You sat on his lap, as he put his arms around you. “I will protect you from him, I promise.” Sniper kissed your temple while running his fingers through your hair.

 

“I wonder if he dares to come for me on Monday.”

 

“Try to stay under my view. If that bastard comes anywhere near you, I will shoot him in that instant. Confessing and kissing you was one thing, but this… I will never forgive him for this.”

 

“Forgive?” You leaned back to look into his eyes.

 

“Believe it or not, we were friends long ago. Really long ago.”

 

“When?”

 

“Before we joined this war.” With sadness in his eyes, Sniper placed his head on your shoulder. “I knew him for ages, but one day he disappeared. Do you know the exact time when I realized we are fighting against each other? Yesterday night. After the bullet hit him and his disguise went away. That was the first time I saw the enemy Spy’s face.”

 

“But how? You lived on different continents.”

 

“He spent one of his vacations in Australia. We mailed with each other and we met during holidays too. I thought it was a really strong friendship, but when he disappeared…” He didn’t continue and he didn’t need to do so. You heard all of the pain he felt from his voice.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s nothing compared to what he did with you. Looks like I didn’t know him like I thought I did.”

 

“I want to forget everything that happened last night.” You stood up, then took the pile of clothes you left on your desk after coming back from the showers.

 

“Even that we are back together?” Sniper said this with a sad tone. When you turned back to him, you saw that he was looking at his knees.

 

“Sniper, I still have those doubts…”

 

“I know. If everything was alright between us, you would call me by my name.”

 

“I’m sorry if I confused you, but we can’t continue our relationship. I made a mistake yesterday, when I asked you to stay here.”

 

“And what about that kiss earlier today? And that you let me hug you in that way?”

 

“I’m sorry. I just needed some fondness after what happened.”

 

“Now I know how you felt weeks ago. Before Christmas.” The memory broke your heart. Sniper was talking about the time, when you couldn’t decide if he loved you or not. And right now he felt the same about you. Remorse took over you again, as you sat back on the bed and placed a hand on his cheek.

 

“I’m really sorry.”

 

“It doesn’t matter now.”

 

“I know how selfish I am in your eyes right now, but I told you that we only can be together if Medic’s feelings got away. That’s the only way for us.”

 

“I understood, but…” He touched your hand on his cheek, then took a deep breath.

 

“It hurts.” He could hear this was a statement and from this he knew you felt the same. “Listen! I have to take a shower and wash off everything he left on me, but I will come back afterwards and we will talk about this, alright?”

 

Sniper didn’t answer. Not a nod, nor a headshaking. He just closed his eyes, and you knew won’t do anything else. Releasing a deep sigh, you stood up, then went to the showers. The warm water finally made your thought melt away, but only for those minutes you spent under it. You really felt like this was the most selfish decision you ever made. Letting him think that you two were together again, leading him on through the whole night… And your remorse only grew further when you went back to your room. Sniper wasn’t there. How could you let this happen? You wanted to just lock the door and be in there for the whole day, but you knew this wasn’t possible. Some of your teammates didn’t even know you were back again, and you already spent a day in your room. With a bitter feeling in your heart, you went to the common room, where you instantly had to bear Pyro’s deadly hug.

 

“Mhhmmm!” He cheered while lifting you up a bit.

 

“It’s good to see you too.” You couldn’t help it, but his childish manifestation made you chuckle softly. After he released you, you started rubbing your aching ribs. The firebug was surely strong, but you didn’t have the right to complain about it. His strong hugs always made you feel a bit better.

 

“Hm mhhmmh?” He pointed towards the kitchen, and you just knew he was asking if you were hungry.

 

“Just a bit, buddy.” Pyro grabbed your wrist excitedly, then pulled you to the table. Demo was already sitting there and when you sat down next to him, he playfully punched your shoulder with a smile.

 

“I knew you will be back!” He chuckled, then got a whole waffle into his mouth. “You…”

 

“Don’t speak with loaded mouth, please!” You laughed while dusting off some scrambles from your shoulder. He swallowed the cake fast, and drank some of his whiskey to wash it off. “Drinking this early in the morning?”

 

“Somewhere it’s already five o’clock.”

 

“That’s true, I guess.”

 

“What I wanted to say is that you are too tough to be taken away by that stupid machine. Why did you shoot yourself back then?”

 

“The rampage mode. I wanted to turn it down.”

 

“Good decision! Maybe I should do the same when getting dragged away by my stupid sword. One time I almost cut off Solly’s head.”

 

“Anything interesting happened while I was out?” In the meantime Pyro took a pile of waffles to you and one more portion for Demo. Your one had a smiley on it, made with some golden syrup.

 

“Not really. Only the enemy team had some problems. They had three members in the respawn machine for that time.”

 

“Have you heard what happened yesterday?”

 

“I heard the enemy Spy broke in, but I’m still thinking about why. It’s cease-fire and he just came back, like you did. Something must be broken in that bastard’s head.” Maybe because of the drinks he had before, but he laughed so loudly, it made some other teammates come into the room.

 

“Why is Demo so happy?” Asked Soldier before sitting down at the table. Pyro took him a plate in that instant when the man’s butt touched the chair.

 

“I think he drank enough for this morning.” Spy took the glass of whiskey from the laughing Scotsman, then sat down next to you.

 

“What did I tell you, you maggot? Stay sober or you can’t fight properly!”

 

“Leave it, Solly!” Scout walked into the room, and jumped on the counter to see what Pyro was doing. “The cyclops has his ways to make good explosives for us. And if it covers drinking, then we have to let him take what’s needed.” He tried to steal some of the waffle dough, but Pyro snapped his hand away from the bowl. The runner heard a growl, then went to the table. “Firebug always makes the best confectionaries in the world.” He reached out to your plate and took one of your waffles.

 

“Yeah, and he makes tons of it, so I would be happy if you ate yours instead of mine.” You rolled your eyes, as he finished the cake with two big bites. “You surely have a big mouth.”

 

“Got a problem with that?”

 

“What’s the topic?” Asked Engie, when Pyro took a big tray of waffles in the middle of the table.

 

“Scout’s big mouth.” Soldier answered while grabbing a cake.

 

“It really is big.” The Texan chuckled.

 

“Want to see how big?” Scout laughed, then he took two more waffles, then took both of them into his mouth. “Thif bhig.”

 

“Where are your manners, _enfant_?” Spy lighted a cigarette. He always had one in the morning instead of eating breakfast. The runner looked at him with anger, but he swallowed the food before saying anything.

 

“My mom taught me enough manners. I don’t need to hear yours.”

 

“There is a lady in the room with us and you were speaking with a full mouth. That’s not polite.”

 

“I don’t care what’s polite.” Scout sat down next to you, and when Spy started talking to Engie, you turned to him.

 

“So, you talked about it with him?”

 

“No. But I think I can see now why he always acted like this. Maybe he’s trying to take some part in my education.”

 

“Then why are you angry?”

 

“Because he’s late. He’s twenty-three years late.” After you thought about it a bit, you realized that Scout had a point there. He had all the rights to be angry at Spy, but you could see the other side’s aspect too. This was a really rough situation for both of them. “And what about you and Snipes? Did he tell you the big news already?”

 

“Umm…” And right there you had an idea. “Yeah. He told me everything. What do you think about it?”

 

“Nice try, girl!” Scout chuckled, then playfully punched you in the shoulder. “I’m maybe the most talkative person in the world, but I’m not dumb.”

 

“I didn’t say you are. It just worth a shot. How did you know?”

 

“You would be much happier and excited if he told you. Believe me! I know.”

 

“I don’t think he will ever tell me. We kind of argued early morning, and I bet he hates me now.”

 

“You never can be sure about this. Just remember how it all started. You were so sure he won’t apologize, and right now he fights to get you back.” He reassuringly placed a hand on your shoulder which made you smile bitterly.

 

“Whispering in company is impolite.” Medic chuckled and you only realized now, that the whole team was present by now.

 

“Don’t start this again, please.” Your smile went away in that instant when you looked into his gray eyes.

 

“I have an idea, _alle_!” He said while leaning to the counter. “Why don’t we go to the bar tonight? Celebrating our Shadow’s comeback.”

 

“You know, I don’t like flamboyance.”

 

“I think that would be a good idea.” It surprised you that Spy was agreeing with the doc. He even showed a sly smile towards you while saying this. Everyone joined the two other men, and your glance slipped on the only one who didn’t say anything about this. Sniper was standing close to the entrance door, and when he noticed that you were looking at him, he simply went outside of the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enfant = kid  
> alle = all


	21. ...or not

The day went away so fast for you. You tried to spend as much time with the others as you could, but it didn’t help your feelings at all. You still were upset about the enemy Spy and you still felt remorse for treating Sniper as you did in the morning. When evening finally came, you got dressed fast. You didn’t want to waste even a minute what you could spend out of the base and your room. Medic cleaned up the blood stains on your wall, but you still had bad feelings about being in there. It was like you could smell the BLU Spy’s cologne everywhere, even though you knew he wasn’t anywhere near. You went to the showers three times that day, but you still felt dirty. All you needed then was a night out and as the night came closer and closer, your mood was better with every lasting minute. When you went to the entrance, the others were already there, and you finally could step outside the fortress’s zone. The only thing that bothered you when the team reached the bar was that Sniper didn’t join. You didn’t even see him since breakfast. You all sat at the same table where you were more than a month ago.

 

“For Shadow!” Demo raised his bottle, after everyone got their drinks. “I told you all she will come back. I remember saying that she’s tough enough to beat that damn machine, but no one believed me. Cowards!”

 

“We just got here and you are already drunk…” Engie rolled his eyes, but while doing so he chuckled softly.

 

“I thought we came here to do exactly that.”

 

“We did, Demo.” You smiled at him as he drank out his glass with one gulp.

 

“You really think it would be wise for you to get drunk?” Spy pointed at your glass which was already half empty. “I still remember what happened last time you drank too much.”

 

“I don’t even know how you know about that night.”

 

“I know everything, _reine_. You should have got used to it by now.”

 

“I did. I just want to know how you know about it.”

 

“The bushman told me.” He showed a smile that warmed your heart. “He told me everything.”

 

“I should have guessed he did.”

 

Time just flew away. You had chats about every little nonsenses that had been brought up, and you had to admit, it was fun. You laughed with the others when Scout thought he could beat Heavy in arm wrestling and for a few hours, you finally forgot everything that happened yesterday. After the third drink, you felt a little dizzy, so you slowed your drinks. But even with everything, you still took peeks at the door. You were waiting for something you knew won’t happen.

 

“You will get giddy if you keep turning your head this much.” Medic teased you after the maybe fifteenth time. Though he chuckled, you couldn’t see the funny part in his sentence. When he noticed it, his smile went away as well. “You are waiting for him, _ja_?”

 

“Does it even matter? I know he won’t come.” In the next moment he let out a small sigh, then smiled again.

 

“ _Unsinn_. Of course it matters. The night is still young.”

 

“I have to go to the bathroom.” You stood up, but Medic grabbed your wrist.

 

“Are you sick?”

 

“No, just have to go there.”

 

After he released your arm, you went to the hallway where the bathrooms were, but you didn’t go inside. The hallway was quieter and that was all you needed. Just a moment to clean your head. There was an open window right next to you, and the cool breeze coming inside from there made your dizziness fade. Suddenly the men’s bathroom door opened up, and who you saw coming out from there made you think you were hallucinating. It was the BLU Spy himself. When he noticed you, his face froze in fear and you knew he had a reason to be like this. You looked at him like you could kill him with your eyes. For long moment none of you made a move or said a single word to the other. You just stared at each other, then driven by a sudden anger, you activated your metal claws.

 

“Please don’t do anything you can regret!” He whispered worriedly.

 

“Why would I regret killing you?” For your surprise he didn’t step back for your threatening question. He stepped closer instead.

 

“Because we are out of respawn area. If you do any harm to me, then I can’t come back ever.”

 

“And you want to melt my heart with this? Guess what! It’s not working anymore.”

 

“I know that you probably hate me right now.” He took another step closer. As you held up your hand defensively, your claws were shining faintly from the moonlight coming through the window.

 

“First of all, it’s not ‘probably’, it’s ‘surely’. And second of all, hate is the wrong word here. It’s something worse.”

 

“And I totally understand. What I did was unacceptable, but I had a good reason.”

 

“Oh, yeah? And what exactly was that ‘good reason’?”

 

“Honestly you would have never let me closer if I were myself.”

 

“Here comes the ‘I only wanted to talk, but I couldn’t stop’ part?”

 

“ _Non_. Here comes the ‘I wanted to be close to you, but I didn’t know that will happen’ part. Making love with you wasn’t planned, but when I saw you in that pleading state…” He took a deep breath to calm himself a bit. “It turned me on so much. I needed to feel you.”

 

“And what the hell did you think? That I will never talk about it with him?”

 

“I didn’t think. That’s why ended up like that.” Another step. He was so close to you by now, that you could feel his warmth. The enemy Spy reached out hoping he can pull you closer to himself, but you didn’t want that. You grabbed his arm and let your claws under his shirt and skin. He pulled away his bleeding arm in that instant and finally took some steps backwards.

 

“You have three seconds to go away…”

 

You held up you hand, and started counting the moments. When you held up the third finger, he was nowhere to be seen. How could he think, that you will stand there and let him touch you? He could have been so desperate, if he thought anything like this. You pulled back your claws, then went out from the hallway. The others were laughing really loud on something. Maybe on a joke of Demo’s bests. You didn’t want to ruin their fun, so you went to the bar, and sat on one of those high chairs. After the bartender gave you a glass, you drank it up with a single gulp. You only wanted to be there until your head gets light enough to forget this meeting. Suddenly a hand pushed another glass into your view, which you gladly accepted.

 

“Are we doing this again?” Without looking up the man standing next to you, you chuckled.

 

“I thought you missed me.” The same hand which gave you the drink was now crossing fingers with yours. “The doc said you checked the door almost every fifth minute.”

 

“Just to be sure, where to go if Pyro started a fire.” When he laughed at you really bad pun, you finally looked into his eyes. There was that beautiful sparkle in the brown irises, which you loved so much.

 

“Don’t you want to know why I came?” Though it was weeks ago when he said the exactly same words to you, you still remembered everything.

 

“God, Sniper… Why are you doing this to me?”

 

“Because you look adorable with a blush.” He put your hair behind your ear to get a better look on your face.

 

“It’s only because it’s my fifth glass tonight.”

 

“Really? Definitely not because you like me, right?”

 

“Definitely.” You chuckled again.

 

“This is where everything began.” He sighed deeply, and showed a warming smile. “I remember how you flirted with me.”

 

“That wasn’t flirting. I just wanted to torture you.”

 

“I think that torture made us closer. Do you want to repeat history?”

 

“What are you thinking of?”

 

“Dance with me!”

 

“To this?” He laughed as you brought this up.

 

Sniper helped you up, then led you to the dancefloor. He placed one of his hands on your waist, and with the other he took yours. This time he didn’t get you in a hidden place. You were dancing in a spot where anyone could see you who just wanted. Your heartbeat fastened as he pulled you closer and you leaned your head against his chest. For some moments, you forgot about the others who were watching the whole scene.

 

“What are you doing?” You chuckled when you felt his warm breath in your hair.

 

“Pear?”

 

“Are you really smelling me?”

 

“You smell different than you used to.”

 

“I thought it’s time for a change. You don’t like it?”

 

“I think pear suits you better than cherry.” He suddenly released your waist and held up your head with his hand, so he could look into your eyes. You blushed again as he leaned in to kiss you softly. This time, it didn’t remind you of the BLU Spy. Sniper let go of your hand and ran his fingers through your hair to pull you closer.

 

“What happened to you?” You whispered when the kiss ended.

 

“What do you mean?” He was still smiling, which made you think. Maybe this was the ‘big news’ Scout talked about.

 

“What happened during those three days, Mick?” When he heard his real name, he kissed you again.

 

“I decided to break the secret.”

 

“And didn’t you fear about Medic?”

 

“To be honest, I spoke to him today about this. You said this was the only way we can be together, so while you were in the showers, I went to the infirmary and talked with the doc.”

 

“And what did he say?”

 

“Turn around!” You did as he told you, and saw Medic smiling with true happiness at the table. “I told him everything. He was a bit upset though, that he made us break up, but I told him we forgive that.”

 

“You said correctly. Why did you decide to tell them?”

 

“Because I want to be with you. When I heard about how the other team reacted to their Shadow’s relationship, it made me a bit calmer.”

 

“You defeated your worries because of me?”

 

“I would do anything for you.”

 

“Then can we dance a bit more? It feels so good to be like this with you.”

 

“I love you, Shadow.”

 

*************************

 

“Make me proud, lovebirds!” Soldier saluted when you and Sniper were ready to go back to the base. “Give America great kids!”

 

“Solly, you know that neither of us born in America, don’t you?” Sniper chuckled.

 

“But you live here now. And it means you have to help this great country.”

 

“Don’t fight with him.” You whispered while dragging your lover outside. “You know how stubborn he is when America is the topic.”

 

“You know, I feel like my heart is lighter now that we don’t have to hide us.”

 

“I agree. And I told you they will be happy for us.”

 

“Yes, yes. You were right.”

 

“Can I hear that again? I think it wasn’t clear enough.” You started laughing as Sniper blushed. He suddenly stopped walking, then held you up bridal-style and kissed you softly.

 

“Was it clear this time?”

 

“I think you’ll have to repeat, because I’m not sure I caught the meaning.”

 

“You know, you can get kisses anytime you want. You don’t have to make up excuses like this.” After this, his lips touched yours again, then he put you back on the ground, so you could continue walking home.

 

“I’m just teasing you.”

 

“I know. By the way, why were you alone again when I arrived? Last time it was because of me, but what happened now?” While he asked this, your mood turned into a chaotic mixture of sadness and anger. You almost forgot about that unwanted meeting, and now that he brought it up, you felt disgusted again.

 

“Just my mood wasn’t in the best condition and I didn’t want to ruin their fun, that’s all.”

 

“And what made you feel like that?” He gently grabbed your hand, to hold it tight for the rest of the way. “You know, you can tell me anything.”

 

“I just met with that bastard.” You felt his fingers tightening around your hand a bit more, and you couldn’t blame him for it. Even you were still confused about the BLU Spy’s actions, and nothing came into your mind about what he was doing back then. Suddenly you realized that Snipers steps were faster after a while. “Why are we running?”

 

“We’re not.” He looked down at you with surprise. It was like he didn’t even know what he was doing.

 

“Yes, we are. What’s that hurry now?”

 

“I just want to get further from the town as soon as it is possible.”

 

Sniper’s wish was done. You reached his van in no time, but you felt like hours passed since he last said a word. Everything seemed like it was the end of the night, so you started walking towards the base, but he grabbed your wrist after the first step. He pulled you closer, then cornered you with his arms at the door of the van. You remembered when you last saw the same expressions on his face as he leaned in to kiss you passionately.

 

“Again?” You broke the kiss after some minutes. He did the same things as after he saw Medic all over you.

 

“What are you talking about?” Sniper didn’t even realize what he was doing.

 

“Are you jealous again?”

 

“No. I’m just…”

 

“Showing dominance?”

 

“Maybe.” His answer made you roll your eyes, but you couldn’t be angry at him. This was just something men do when they feel that their values are in danger. “Look! If you don’t want it, then you can tell me and I will stop.”

  
“Alright. I don’t want it now.”

 

“But will you sleep with me? Just sleeping, I swear!”

 

“Okay.” You sighed deeply as he let you go. Sniper took his keys to open the doors, but before he could do anything, he stopped. “What’s wrong?” You asked when his face run pale. He grabbed a little piece of paper which was hanging on the door. “Mick, just say something!”

 

“It’s yours.” He handed you the note, and when you read it, your reaction was almost the same as his.

 

_Shadow,_

_I’ll pick you up at 8 am tomorrow._

_Miss Pauling_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reine = queen  
> ja = yes  
> Unsinn = Nonsense  
> Non = No


	22. You mean everything to me

“You really want to go there in your uniform?” Sniper asked after you came back fully dressed from the showers. You two spent the night in your room. Finding that note on his van made Sniper think that it wouldn’t be a good idea to sleep there. Now he was sitting on your bed, playing with his watch.

 

“I came in this, and I will go in this.”

 

“Don’t be this negative!” He suddenly grabbed your wrist, then pulled you closer to hug you at your hips. “Maybe she wants something else.”

 

“Like what? Medic’s still working on my new weapon and I didn’t do anything else against the rules. And the note was on your van, so she thought I would be there with you.”

 

“I’m just trying not to think about the worst outcome.”

 

“That’s a good thing, I guess. But like this, you won’t know what to do if they kick me out.”

 

“Do you have anywhere to go?”

 

“Not really. I had those fake addresses, but I don’t own any of those houses.”

 

“Then if anything like that happens, call me and I will speak with my parents. You can move in their house and we can see each other on every holiday.”

 

“You really would do that for me?”

 

“For you, I would do anything.” Sniper pulled you down into his lap, and kissed you softly.

 

“I should get going. There’s only fifteen minutes left and I want to say goodbye to the others.”

 

He let you stand up, and you helped him get up too. You started walking to the common room, holding each other’s hands like you would never do so again. The whole team was there already and they all sat at the table, eating Heavy’s famous scrambled eggs. At that moment you wished you could do the same, but you were running out of time already.

 

“I see the lovebirds are up already.” Engie smiled at you, but you just couldn’t do the same. You were too nervous to hide your pain from them.

 

“Why is little girl in uniform on a Saturday?” Heavy got straight to the point, and when your only answer was a peek on Sniper, the others all got up and came to you.

 

“What happened?” Medic asked worriedly, but you hardly found the words right there.

 

“Miss Pauling left a note for her yesterday.” Sniper answered instead of you. No one seemed to understand what this meant, so he tried to make things a bit clearer. “We found it on my van’s door. It said she wants to pick up Shadow today at 8 am.”

 

“Did anyone say anything about them?” Demo looked around, but no one answered.

 

“Who is the traitor?” Soldier shouted.

 

“Maybe it was someone from the other team, Solly. We can’t know.” Engie placed a hand on the angry man’s shoulder trying to calm him down.

 

“You alright, _reine_?” Spy asked while the others were thinking about what could have happened.

 

“What do you think?” Though it was only a rhetorical question, your brother shook his head as an answer.

 

“And you, bushman?”

 

“I’m trying to think about other outcomes instead of this.” Sniper said, but you knew he was as afraid now as you were.

 

“When will Miss Pauling arrive?”

 

“Five minutes later.”

 

“Guess it’s time to say my last goodbye.” You said with a bitter sigh, then turned to Sniper. “I’ll call if anything happens.”

 

“I already miss you, Shadow.” He pulled you closer into an embrace and you hid your face at his neck.

 

“Quinn.”

 

“What?” He gently pushed you a bit further, so he could look into your eyes.

 

“My real name. If they kick me out, then I’ll lose my codename, and I thought you should know my real name before it happens.” You nearly finished your sentence when a car could be heard from outside.

 

You knew how strict Miss Pauling was when it came to punctuality, so you left the base immediately. A black car was waiting for you with an open door to the backseat. You were all alone in there, but you thought it was a big luck. You didn’t want anyone to see your small tears.

 

******************

 

After a quite long drive, you finally arrived to the HQ. It was only a small building, but you knew it was larger inside. The hallway you went through was quiet and only an elevator was on the end of it. No windows or doors. Just an old elevator and four gray walls. Once you reached the floor, where Miss Pauling’s office was, your heart started to beat faster and faster with every step you took. You opened the door, and almost shut it close again when you saw that you weren’t the only invited one there. The BLU Spy was sitting in a chair in front of the Miss’s desk. After some awkward moments of staring at each other, you decided to leave your hate out, and you sat next to him on another chair.

 

“Just a moment and we will start!” Miss Pauling said while typing something on her computer. You waited three hard minutes until she finally looked up from the monitor. “I know what you two are thinking, but you’re not here to be fired. I got a job for you to do.”

 

“You really expect me to work with him?” After an almost relieved sigh, you pointed at Spy who probably was on the same thought.

 

“I know about your little affair, but you’ll have to forget it until this thing is done.”

 

“We are enemies, _mon cher_.” Spy grinned. “Why should we work together all of a sudden?”

 

“Because this covers both of your teams. There seems to be a problem with the two men who gave you this job, and I expect you to solve it.”

 

“And why did you want us?”

 

“You already have much on your plates, and if you don’t want the Administrator to know about these things, then you should cooperate.”

 

“What things to be exact?”

 

“To be exact, I should fire you right now, because you have feelings for one of your enemies, Spy. And then we didn’t even count in that you went to their base in disguise to – and sorry for my words – fuck her.”

 

“How do you know about that?” You tried to be silent until now, but when Miss Pauling mentioned that night, you couldn’t keep the question in yourself.

 

“Let’s say, someone sent me a report, hoping that I will fire Spy immediately.”

 

“And why don’t you do so?”

 

“Because then I should fire you, too. If it ever reveals, that he disguised as your Sniper, and you slept with him on purpose, then the first question that will be asked is: why did you do it? Look, Shadow! We are friends, and I tried to keep your secret as a secret, but I can’t do this if you let your teammates report anything that carries any information about your relationship. I’m doing everything to help you keeping this job, but I have my limits, too.”

 

“I guess I didn’t think about it like this.” You blushed as everything found their place in your mind. “And thank you for helping.”

 

“You can thank me with doing this job correctly.”

 

“What should we do?” Spy asked while rolling his eyes.

 

“Here!” Miss Pauling placed two folders on the table, and you took the one labelled with you codename. “You’ll find everything in these. I don’t have the needed time to tell you everything right now, so you’ll have to go with these.”

 

“Is that all?”

 

“Yes. Now Spy, please, leave! The car will be waiting for you outside.”

 

“ _Au revoir_.” The man went back to the elevator, leaving you two alone.

 

“Am I in trouble?” You looked at Miss Pauling with worried eyes. “I mean in more trouble than I’m already having.”

 

“I just have to give you your new weapon.” She gave you a little cardboard box. You slowly opened it, then held up the pistol which it contained.

 

“I thought Medic was still working on it.”

 

“He can’t even do what he imagined. This one’s bullets are capable of healing your teammates. Not as much as the doctor’s gun, but it will do if someone gets a smaller wound. And you can’t use it constantly. If you use it on someone, then you can’t heal them with it again until they went through respawn.”

 

“I see.” You opened the clip and saw six glowing bullets inside. They were like small pills filled with the red mist what Medic used to heal everyone.

 

“You’ll have to sign some papers before you go. I believe it will already be at least two in the morning, when you’ll get back to your base, so you won’t meet anyone. But if I’m wrong, please, don’t say anything about this mission.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You’ll figure it out after you read the papers in that folder.”

 

“Alright then.” You had a load of questions, but seeing Miss Pauling so stressed about this case made you hide them. You never saw her like this, and her expressions were really worried. Something really bad was going on.

 

******************

 

Miss Pauling wasn’t that wrong. It was almost three in the morning when you finally got out from the car. You were really tired, and you only had nine hours to sleep and get ready for you mission. When you entered the base, you were a bit happy that no one was around. You didn’t want to have anyone’s attention right now. The only thing you wanted there was a hot shower and some sleep before you’ll have to go out for who knows how long time. You only were sure about that the journey will take more than a day with car. Trying to stay awake, you went straight to your room. You knew you’ll have to think about some explanation towards the others if they ask about the mission you got. Miss Pauling was right again, when she said that your teammates can’t know about this case. You were pretty worried after reading that file, and you only could imagine what the others would do if they knew what happened.

 

After you finally reached your room, you still had to collect some strength for not laying on the bed instantly. You had to take a shower and collect some things for the journey. Exactly in this sequence. Because the others were all sleeping by then, you could get out of your clothes in your room and go to the showers wearing only a towel. The warm water was almost massaging your skin, making the tiredness a bit more bearable. After the sweet shower, you had to go back to your room to pack up, but when you stepped inside, you immediately froze. Sniper was standing at your desk, holding the folder you got. For your luck he didn’t open it yet. You made a small cough to get his attention, and when he looked at you, he dropped the folder back on the desk, then ran to you.

 

“You’re back.” He whispered while hugging you tight.

 

“I told you I will call if anything bad happens.” You chuckled softly when he left several kisses on your cheek. “So, I guess you missed me.”

 

“What happened there?”

 

“I’m staying. Just got a mission and my new weapon.”

 

“What kind of mission?”

 

“I can’t talk about it until it’s done.”

 

“Should have guessed.”

 

“Mick, what are you doing?” He stopped kissing your cheeks, and now his lips were touching your neck instead. It felt really good though, but you didn’t have time for that.

 

“I missed you so much, love.”

 

“We can’t do this right now.” Sniper heard your words, but when he took a hand between your tights, he also felt that you wanted this.

 

“This time I’m not doing this because of jealousy.”

 

“That’s not what I meant. I only have less than eight hours to sleep and get ready for the mission.”

 

“Can I at least stay for the night?”

 

“But we will only sleep.”

 

“Can’t promise anything.” Sniper chuckled with a naughty smile, then he lay down on your bed. You went to your wardrobe to pull on some clothes for the night. Packing for the journey could wait until morning. “Especially if you’re walking around like this.”

 

“What do you mean?” You asked while getting into bed beside him.

 

“With only a shirt and panties on. It’s not fair.”

 

“Deal with it! I won’t sleep fully dressed just because you’re horny.”

 

“You don’t have to.” He chuckled softly, then pulled you into an embrace. “Good night, Quinn.”

 

“Mick?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I know. And this feeling is mutual, sugar cube.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reine = queen  
> mon cher = my dear  
> Au revoir = Goodbye
> 
> I know this was a bit more emotional, than you would have expected, but that's my style. Hope everyone liked it though. I want to write some kind of sequel, but that will be a bit different. Please, let me know your opinion about this fanfic.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to read one of my original works:  
> https://nightingaleshadow14.deviantart.com/gallery/64571090/Reborn-project


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